Raising Siblings to Be Friends

New Beginnings - WAHM

2011-11-15T09:57:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day of my new career! Its been a long road of searching, false starts and huge expenses but the day is finally here where I start new. A month ago I joined MFP and one of my first blog posts was about a horrible day I had interviewing for a job.

It was a dark day but I learned from it and I made sure the next time I went into the city for an interview I took the right suit with me in a garment bag and changed in a hotel washroomthere before I went to the interview. Gave myself even more time to get there on transit and had 15 minutes to sit read and relax before my interview.

That interview I nailed and I got the job, which ended up being the perfect job out of all the positions I interviewed for over the last 2 years. It had everything I wanted in a position and I didn't have to give up anything.

It gives me the flexibility to work a schedule that works with my family. Which means I'm here to get the kids to school and here when they get home. I can drive them to afterschool activities and I can afford to pay for them.

It gives me a good base that we can live on plus commissions to purchase extras - like that new video game system the kids want after the trip to the Sony store yesterday, a 3D PSP with 3D TV. Its all my son can talk about - not this Christmas hun, maybe your birthday IF you come up with 1/2 the cost.

It is a contract position which means I can utilize my expenses as tax deductions, that includes a portion of my home, car, phone, and internet.

Its print advertising which I am passionate about in an industry I am very familiar with, Real Estate - Thanks MOM!!

Really I couldn't be happier about the position and I can't wait to get started. In fact I already have by creating a marketing and sales plan to follow in order to reach my goals. I will blow the owner's mind tomorrow when I give him a copy of it and my sales presentation to discuss and fine tune. I've used one in the past and it is a great communication tool and assessment tool for both myself and my boss when figuring out where I am, where I want to be and what is missing from the process. Of course it takes the right kind of manager to see the value of it and work with me on it.

One goal down, a big one but one that motivates me and provides me with the means to make my other goals a reality. The next goal .... fit into that size 16 navy blue power suit.

Polish Poise and Power Suits

2011-11-15T09:55:00.001-08:00

Written a month ago:

I really need to get it together so that I am a confident and put together successful looking person. I've been looking for work off and on for the last two years and today I had yet another job interview. When interviewing for a job everything needs to go perfect. Well today was one of those days where everything goes wrong and yet you still have to perform at your best.

I've eaten so much the last 4 years that I don't fit into any of my power business suits anymore and my present wardrobe choices are limited. Depressing as that is - the PMS I woke up with didn't help; its the severe type where the cramps are more like labour contractions then cramps and you need a full box of tampax each day. Add in a bad night sleep, a cranky and miserable husband, and rain - lots of rain, it amounts to the worst day to be having a job interview.

Considering the job interview was with a recruiter for a start up software company I wasn't too worried about my A game, that was until I opened my email to retrieve the address. The recruiter was able to arrange a meeting for me with the CEO today. OK, not the end of the world, this is a software start up CEO, they are usually more casual. Then I click on the link she provided to the company and find out that said CEO is a former bank CEO. OK now I'm screwed. I need my 'A+++' game plus poise, polish and that navy blue power suit that doesn't fit anymore.

I don't take transit very often and thought adding an extra 45 minutes to the commute would get me there 15 minutes early, plenty of time to change out of my runners and put on my jacket to cover up the black v neck t-shirt I had on. Ya no such luck, I walked in dripping wet (remember it was pouring rain out) disheaveled from the train ride just as the recruiter walked in looking very slender, blonde, and polished in expensive designer clothes. If that wasn't bad enough I could see her eyes look me up and down right to my pink running shoes.

She was kind enough to give me a short reprieve to the nearest washroom. I walked into a full wall, corner to corner, floor to ceiling mirrored washroom. Ya, like I need to be reminded how utterly huge I am right before an interview. After I get it together the interview goes well, it must of she called the very busy CEO to come meet me.

The very fit CEO dressed in the traditional banker exec navy blue power suit arrived and the next part of the process started. Actually all went well at this point and the quick 1/2 hour meet turned into an hour conversation where I learned that he also runs marathons. I was worn out just from walking and riding transit.

When I got home at 3:30 I was ready for a stiff drink, a hot shower and a good nights sleep - none of which I got as I still needed to go grocery shopping. By this point all I'd eaten was a couple bites of cold leftover oatmeal - tastes as good as it sounds - some not very good dim sum, and a Coke which I'd hoped would give me a shot of energy. - it didn't. All of which I'm sure just added to the crappiness my body was experiencing. Dinner was about as nutritious as the afore mentioned Coke, I'll need an infusion of nutrients tomorrow.

Although my day was less then perfect and I may not have looked as polished as the 2 individuals I met with today, it wasn't a complete write off. I met two amazingly successful people who bought me coffee.

My Fitness Pal . Com

2011-10-20T13:10:00.000-07:00

As many bored housewives suffering from isolation and minor depression I have eaten myself into a hefty size 18. My mother is always after me to eat better and exercise..... today she sent me a link to the My Fitness Pal website and I have drank the Kool Aid (sugar free) as the saying goes. I have linked to my mother's account so she can see my progress. I must be a glutton for punishment because it means she'll now see every bit of chocolate I eat and every time I drink a sugar laden Coke, my coffee of the afternoon. My father drank lots of Coke every day from the age of 2, yes 2 -its a long story, and now suffering various stomach ailments is always quick to tell me to stop drinking the stuff. Being the rebellious daughter, I don't always listen, but now - provided I am honest enough to track everything - I don't stand a chance of getting away with this bad habit.

Knowing my mom as I do, after all she's been with me for 38 years, she will berate me every time I over eat and eat too many sweets. She has full faith in the fact that I will become a diabetic any day now considering my eating habits paired with my lack of exercise.

In the past I have tried Weight Watchers and LA Weight Loss with no success. What they lacked that this program does not, my mother harping on me everyday to keep my diary, to exercise, and to eat better.

I'm not sure I'll loose all the weight, I don't really have a desire to do so, but maybe with the influence of an overly competitive and outspoken mother who has no fear of criticising her daughter I may just loose a few pounds and get in better shape along the way.

If you are looking to loose weight try out My Fitness Pal . com and make sure to look me up and connect and together we just might succeed. The best thing about the site -- It is FREE to use.

Rising Cost of Food - Is it cutting into your Budget?

2011-06-06T09:25:00.000-07:00

On Average Canadians spent 10% of their income on food - If that is true then our family is below average. On average we spend approx 27% of our household income on groceries and the weekly bill keeps rising. As a single income household in the Greater Vancouver area, it isn't easy to make ends meet at the best of times, but with the cost of essentials: food, gas, & housing, rising it is even harder.

In order to make ends meet I've started making our bread because store prices are just too expensive. We've stopped purchasing granola bars, processed foods, lunch snacks, and I've started baking as much as possible. I've been comparison shopping between Costco, Walmart, Safeway, and Save On just to make sure I'm spending the least amount possible on items. I've even started over the border shopping into Bellingham, WA where dairy, chicken, and some gas prices are lower than in Canada. I don't like to take my shopping support into the States but what am I to do when the difference is over 50% less for the same items? I've even become a butcher as large bulk roasts from Costco are cheaper than the ones already cut.

We are lucky because by cutting back we are able to make ends meet and hopefully I'll find employment soon and then our household income will nearly double. However, in most of the world this is not the case. Where people spend 80% of their household income on food, rising food prices will only make it harder to survive starvation.

In Canada we choose to ignore those that are starving and continue to live our lives consuming. After all, the one with the most toys wins - right. I am just as guilty as anyone else, whenever we have a few extra hundred dollars we buy something for our kids, our house, or ourselves. Our kid's birthday present could have fed a family in a third world country for years. Sometimes I wonder what are we teaching our children. Can our children afford to be bigger consumers than us? Will they end up in worse debt? or will they become generous giving individuals who are thankful for what they have and give to those with less?

What are some ideas to help teach our children to be more thoughtful, less selfish, and smaller consumers?
How are you cutting your grocery bill to save money?

Get Rid of Ants - Finally I Found the Solution to My Ant Problem

2011-05-20T10:37:00.000-07:00

I have ants all around my house and I don't mean my mother's sisters, I mean the tiny 6 legged little black insect pest type ants. They are in my garden and like to harvest aphid honeydew on my raspberries, which is all together gross. A few have found their way into our house and now that I'm planting a bigger garden it was time to get serious.

I tried over the counter ant dusts, ant traps, ant glue traps, ant sprays, I tried almost every product on the shelf and they weren't deterred or dead.

So I started searching the net and learned about certain plants that repel ants, so I planted pennyroyal, peppermint, lavender, rosemary, and garlic chives. I saw ants on the pennyroyal but for the most part they just walked around the plants to where they wanted to go. Now I don't want to grow a bunch of these types of plants as a border around my vegetable garden because I have very little space to plant as it is.

So I kept looking and found out that cinnamon, citrus oil, lemon juice and cayenne pepper work. I pushed cinnamon sticks into the dirt but that didn't do much of anything. Lemon juice just washes away the minute I water and I have no idea where to get citrus oil.

Eureka! Ant problem solved finally - I put cayenne pepper powder into a jar of vegetable oil, enough to make it a really dark orange / red, and let it stand for 24 hours. When I poured it on the flagstones the ants wouldn't go through the line of oil, it worked like a wall. They'd get close, then just like one of those toy cars that change direction when they hit a wall, the ants turned around and tried to go a different way.

I'm now making a bigger batch of Cayenne vegetable oil to surround my garden's perimeter and to put into the soil where there are a lot of ants. The oil doesn't wash away easily, which will prolong its usefulness.

I wish I hadn't wasted so much money on insecticides since they didn't work.

Grandma in Town, I get a Vacation or Should I say Staycation.

2011-04-14T17:31:00.000-07:00

My parents are in town, which for me is always a blessing. My mom cooks, cleans and spends time with the kids, virtually leaving me with little to do. It's nice to have the around for conversation and company since I'm usually going insane with the solitude of my life.

Yesterday I re potted my seedlings for the vegetable garden, I have way too many tomato plants, and started some more seeds. Another month or so and I should be able to plant everything outside and get the smell of dirt out of my craft room.

The kids have been on time for school everyday this week, since Grandma makes special breakfasts. With 40 lates already this year being on time 5 days in a row is a record. They almost didn't make it today but with a swift kick from Grandma they were on there way with only seconds to spare.

My dad is always a huge help to my husband when he's in town. There is always a project or two waiting for a second pair of hands to help out. It's a good thing they live so far away or else my dad would have a third to - do list, or is that a 4th. Let's see, house, cabin 1, cabin 2, lot, RV.... ok make that a 6th to do list.

My parent's recently retired and after spending a few months in warm Arizona they are back freezing in Canada, with one stop over before settling in to the life of a retiree. I know my dad will be busy, my mom.... hmmm I wonder what she'll do, whatever it is I'm sure she'll find lots to keep her busy as well. If not, I'll just send the kids up for a little visit to Grandma's house and I'll get another vacation of sorts.

I am looking at my floor and I guess I could clean it, the dog has covered it in muddy footprints. Then again, Grandma will be back soon from her shopping trip with the kids, is it too presumptuous to think she'll do it?

Cyber Bullying Can we Protect Our Kids?

2011-04-08T14:00:00.000-07:00

Cyber bullying is a huge issue in our schools and the problem starts at home. It's what we teach our kids, tell our kids, and how we hold them accountable for their actions. As my children grow I realize that their lives and thoughts are separate from mine. They continue to put up walls and boundaries that are harder to break through. Their friends are influencing them more than ever before.

So how do we keep our kids from being bullied or becoming bullies?

Do we need to look at the causes or the effect? I don't think we can do anything about the TV shows, movies, Internet, video games, or societal attitudes. Trying to stop the cause is not a realistic goal, so we are left with finding solutions to the effects. If our children are going to participate in the world so must we. We need to be aware of the media that effect them and understand how their values are formed by them.

Communication is always the solution to forming strong bond between parents and children. Whether or not communications are effective depends on how parents communicate with their children. To instill values in our children do we give orders, "We don't believe in abortion!" Do we give ultimatums, "Don't show up on my doorstep pregnant!" Do we judge others,"Girls that sleep around are worthless." I don't believe talking at children or teens helps them develop values, you have to talk with them.

Keep communications open, plan one on one time with your teen with no electronic distractions. Initiate communication with "safe" non confrontational questions. Your current relationship will determine how long before you can start hitting the harder questions. When you feel the conversation is flowing freely and the barriers are down start asking them what they think about things going on in the news. What they thought about a movie. Then you can start asking them what their opinion is on the "big" values, abortion, drugs, bullying, etc. Don't judge the answers, don't react if you don't agree. Just listen and ask why. What are their reasons behind their beliefs or opinions. By understanding them you can then work towards helping them choose good values.

Stories help them to determine values. Pre schoolers watch shows and listen to stories filled with pure values that teach them to be helpful, selfless, and kind. Tweens watch shows and read books with more complex values and not all are pure and sweet. Then there are the stories that Teens watch and read. So how do parents mold their teen's values? Parent's need to watch the movies, read the books, and figure out their Internet lives to find red flags.

Parents do need to be sneaky, and its OK, these are your kids and its your responsibility to keep them safe. Just don't let them know how you have busted them on something, you don't want them hiding your evidence in the future. One of my facebook connections busted his daughter for sneaking out because she posted it, problem was he posted that she was busted. Next time she'll be more careful and he won't know what's happening. Pick the issues you want to address and then talk to them about it in general. Talk to teachers, read emails, friend on facebook, and check their rooms. Some things will freak you out, some things you will want to fix but with some things we have to trust that our children will fix them and we need to be there for them.

I am scared that my children won't always make the best decisions and that they may have to live through consequences I never would dream for them. I want to fix everything, be part of everything, know everything, and keep them from harm. Realistically though I can't, I can only be there if they do to help them get through it. I wish life wasn't so difficult but it is and its getting more dangerous. We didn't have to deal with Internet as kids but we did have mean girls, we had bullies, we had sex, drugs and crime. Those things are no different, the only part that has changed is the scope, its more public with easier access. The values are the same and the solution is the same, communicate. Don't wait for them to come to you, you have to create opportunities to come together.

Cyber bulling is a criminal action - make sure your child isn't on either side of the court room.
Cyber bulling causes depression
Educational systems are taking a role in Cyber Bullying Prevention
Facebook Cyber Bullying and the Arrests

NEW BLOG -- Finding a Solution to the Problem of Crime.

2011-04-06T09:42:00.000-07:00

I wanted to bring this blog back into the right topic.... Raising children. I have recently been writing a lot about global crime, which I am passionate about, and that doesn't fit the purpose of this blog.

So to fix this situation I started a new blog.... Can We End Global Crime?

The purpose of the blog is to inspire discussion and brain storm ideas and inspire action to help change the world. Not a small goal to say the least, but I'm all for tackling hard difficult problems. So if you are tired of the crime in our world, either local, global or war, please take a moment to stop by and put your two cents worth into the discussion and help find a solution.

What is Happening to Society? Raised to be Heartless, Ignorant and Selfish

2011-04-05T00:29:00.000-07:00

When our grand kids ask us how we could let atrocities like genocide and human trafficking of women happen what are we going to say? It didn't effect us so we ignored it. We had our own problems and crime to hide from so we ignored it. We were too busy working and buying stuff so we ignored it. We were optomistic happy people and that was negativity so we ignored it. In today's society with as much information as we have about atrocities and crimes, we can not pretend we didn't know. Regardless of the reason the result is the same, we know and we don't care enough.

Recently I read Shake hands with the Devil by Lt. General Romeo Dallaire and A Problem from Hell: America and Genocide by Samantha Powers. Two very good books with a very disturbing messages, the UN is all bark with no bite, conflicting political agendas delay action and since no one knows what to do they do nothing. Governments knew what was happening, leaders like President Clinton took no action while 800 000 people were slaughtered in 100 days and the Balkans became a flashback to the days of Hitler. Governments only take action when the people of the country want action to be taken, no one wanted to stop the killing of Tutsis or Muslims in distant impoverished countries. So what happens if genocide takes place in the Western countries? Will anyone care to come to the rescue?

Search human trafficking of women in Europe and you'll be surprised by the information that has been uncovered by journalists and NGOs. We know women from Eastern Europe are kidnapped and forced into a life of prostitution but do we care? Women go missing in the US and Canada to be forced into prostitution but do we care? Whether human trafficking of women for the sex trade is happening half way around the world or just down the street we don't care. We even blame the women for choices they made that landed them there in the first place, even though many were teens doing the same stupid things we did. We were just lucky to not be abducted.

What about kids? Surely we care when a child is harmed. Not really, genocide and displaced people around the world include children but we look the other way. Then there is the 11 year old girl who was gang raped in Texas while being video taped, obviously we care about this child. Not really, many are blaming her and saying she wanted it..... Exactly how can an 11 year old child consent to being gang raped?

Crime happens all around us but we marginalize it by making it someone else's problem and by doing so fool ourselves into believing we are safe. Yes women are abducted and forced into a life of sex slavery, but that is over there it wouldn't happen here. As long as we stay within our four walls and protect our children from harm we will all be OK. We are better parents, our girls wouldn't find themselves in bad situations where they end up being forced into the sex trade. There isn't anything we can do about it so why do anything at all. I am sure that the victims of these crimes will understand why we didn't care about them, after all they don't care about us - right. Whatever excuse or story we tell ourselves will keep us safe, right - Just ask Madeline McCann's parents, or Jaycee Lee Dugard.

Since we do nothing and our laws are written to protect the criminal and prosecute the victim things will only get worse. The Internet and global transportation have made crimes international and criminals harder to catch. There needs to be an international police agency separate from any political government set up to enforce major international crimes and protect citizens from crimes against humanity. The UN can't do it and NATO is tied too closely to its member governments political whims. Although there is a need, there is no will to create international laws and even less will to enforce them.

When I asked my grandparents how their generation could allow the Holocaust, they responded that they didn't know what was happening on the other side of the world. Considering the lack of communications and the lack of access to the camps I believe them. However, today is different with the Internet and CNN, we do know what is going on across the globe. What will you say when your grandchild asks what you did to help stop ____________________? I wonder what Bill Clinton, and the other leaders of the UN will say when God asks them what did they do to stop the genocide in Rwanda and Yugoslavia. What will you say when He asks you?

Getting Older .... Cutting the Strings is so Hard

2011-04-03T16:18:00.000-07:00

My son is getting older and it is so frustrating because I am having a hard time with the distance he's putting between us. I am beginning to understand how obsolete technology must feel. I know he doesn't mean to be mean but it still hurts just the same when he tells me he doesn't need me anymore.

I look at him and see a young man where a boy used to be. I wonder where all the time went and why I didn't hang on to every second of every moment with him. I was distracted at times by work, friends, TV, books, and the internet while he was growing up. I remember his baby years better than the last 5 years, his primary school years where friends grew more important than mom. I long for those wonderful years when I was the only person in his world.

Then I think about all the wonderful conversations we've had over the last year and all the indepth thoughts he has shared with me. Every year has brought something new something different as he grows into his own. I want to be with him sharing every minute of his life, but that is not alright. I need to let him go and be with friends, develop social circles of his own along with thoughts and beliefs that are his. Soon I will have to let him go to spend time with a special girl that is not me and that I know will be hardest of all.

Its hard not to feel less and less needed by my children. Sometimes I wonder if they really need me around at all, should I just leave and let them be? Sometimes I wonder if they love me anymore because they are so busy with their lives they forget me. That is the hardest part about letting out the apron strings, realizing that just because they aren't as close doesn't mean they don't need or love me less.

I know that my children still need me, just less than they did before, and I will have to find something else to fill that hole in myself. All those distractions that take my focus off my kids are what keep me sane and allow me to be there for them when they need me. The trick is to be able to turn off the distraction and focus on them.

I Want to Make a Difference, Can We Stop Crime in our Communities?

2011-02-15T17:23:00.000-08:00

There have been a flood of found missing children who were locked away and abused for years. These stories horrify us and demand our attention, yet we do nothing because we feel powerless to do anything to stop it. We believe someone else will do something, that is someone else's problem, or it makes a good headline but beyond that we really don't care because we are not directly effected.

We see homeless people on the street and believe that somehow they deserve to be there. They are criminals, drug addicts, or choose to be there. We throw them a bit of change and feel we've done our part. They make us uncomfortable so we avoid them, look away, and do our best to avoid them. We tell ourselves that their are government programs to help them and that its not our problem.

We don't feel safe in our neighbourhoods, our kids are corralled in our yards, we have alarms and more locks then when we were kids. We fear home break ins and know that thefts are common place. We want the police to get crime under control but we don't want to get involved. Even worse we buy stuff at discounted prices from sites like Craigslist or ebay and pat ourselves on the back for saving money, not acknowledging that we are perpetrating the reward of crime.

What can we do to help make this world a better place?

Clean up our neighbourhood graffiti
Clean up litter and our yards
Write letters to our political leaders asking for tougher laws
Buy fair trade products
Watch social documentaries to educate yourself
Check out non profit websites, send them an email to ask what you can do to help
Buy a homeless person lunch
Smile more
Volunteer
Help a neighbour
Recycle

Here are some sites to get started on learning more about what you can do to help change the world for the better.

Not For Sale - Abolish Child Slavery
Crime prevention
Human Trafficking
Against Crime & Drugs

Do you know of some non profit organizations that are committed to making the world a better place. What things do you do to help make the world a better place?

People I'd like to Have a Coffee With

2011-01-31T14:35:00.000-08:00

The world is filled with amazing people with amazing stories. Some of which I have been fortunate enough to meet, although their names are not known nor are they celebrities. There are few celebrities I would want to spend time with, too many are shallow as reality TV has shown us. Today I heard a 76 year old woman speak about her experiences running an orphanage in Cambodia and was amazed by the stories of the children in her care. If I could fill an autograph book it would be with signatures from people like her, people who make a difference. I want to use my time better, fill it with learning about courageous people and those who truly have made a difference in this world.

A list of people I would like to sit and have a cup of coffee with to hear their story:

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt: Ok so they are celebrities, but they live their life to make a difference in this world. Their stories are interesting because of the stories they can share about those they help on a regular basis. I don`t care about what kind of toothpaste they used or if they are getting married. I do care about why they make the choice to help others, what drives them to make the decisions they make.

Lt. General Romeo Dallaire: Former UN leader to Rwanda, author of two books about his experiences in Rwanda, and Senator of Canada. He choose to be a witness to one of the most horrific events of modern times. His courage to inform the world about the war crimes he saw and how the international community did nothing to stop it is an example of a hero. His first book, Shake Hands with the Devil, was made into a movie starring Canadian actor Roy Dupuis.

Bobby Sager and Family: This amazing family left behind a life of luxury in the pursuit of helping others. As a family they gave up their wealth centered life to invest in those that want to help themselves build a better life. The short lived TV series, the Philanthropist, was loosely based on his life. The stories he must still have to tell about how and why he helps helps others. He has met with leaders of compassion such as Mother Teresa and the Dali Lama.

Bono: I don`t want to talk about music or his fame but about how his fight for Africa. He has convinced many influential and rich people to give their wealth to charity. I want to know what drives him and his stories about what motivated him to focus on the needs of the African nations.

Survivors of Conflict: I have met a Sudanese lost boy, a Serbian refugee, and people who lived behind the former Iron Curtain. I have heard missionaries share their stories, struggles, and need. These people are amazing and there is so much to learn from their stories about how to succeed in life.

Hilary Clinton: A strong woman who is truly amazing.

Canada`s Justice System is too Expensive and Needs to Be Revamped

2011-01-26T11:31:00.000-08:00

I`m tired of hearing how much is being spent on trying criminals and knowing that our society is only getting more violent. Robert Pikton`s trial cost over $100 million and the BC Rail trial is at over $17 million. Our tax dollars are wasted everyday with continuances and appeals with the result in most cases being a slap on the wrist or an acquittal. Has the pendulum swung too far to the left?

Our justice system is based on precedents and interpretations of laws by judges. It has taken on a life of its own where the rights of the accused are valued more then the rights of the victims or public safety. The hands of the police force are so tied that it makes their jobs to keep the public safe harder and harder every day.

What Canada`s justice system needs is some accountablity. Judges need to be accountable to the public they are suppose to protect. Laws need to be written with consquences that are harsh and will deter criminals or ensure they will be seperated from the public better. However, can it be done? Is there anyway for our society to call for stiffer penalities?

International Centre for Criminal Law Reform

Criminal Justice Reform BC Government

Pre Teen Decisions and the Effects of Violent Video Games like Call of Duty

2011-01-12T10:29:00.000-08:00

My son came home from a friends house and proceeded to ask permission to buy Call of Duty Black Ops. I knew that this day was coming... when he was playing or watching something at a friends house that I didn't approve of. I wasn't shocked that he'd played the game at some of his friend's houses, but I was surprised to find out that it was a particular friend. I know his mom and consider her more over protective then I am, so why did her 11 year old own this particular game? Was I being overly sensitive to media reports, is this game harmless or should I continue to ensure that these types of violent video games stay out of our house?

I value knowledge and having facts to back my opinions so I started to do the research online. It wasn't enough for just me to come up with an argument - it was up to my son to convince me that the game was harmless for 11 year old boys. We both hit the Internet to find information to back up our arguments.

The result of our little exercise was a mutual agreement that maybe now wasn't the best time for him to own such a violent game. Owning the game would mean he would be playing it too much and with the storyline mode, which is the worse mode. He agreed that he got too focused when playing video games alone had a hard time limited the amount of time he played. Ok so it took me asking leading questions for him to come up with that conclusion, but at least he did.

As for playing the game at a friend's house, I'm not stupid I know he will play the game when at his friend's house. I told him that I knew he would do things I didn't agree with, like drink alcohol underage, but I wasn't about to make it easy for him or condone it by allowing it in our home. I also think that playing with friend's in multiple player mode not only limited the amount of time he played the game but also eliminated the storyline mode, which is the goriest mode. Playing with others also kept him from getting hyper focused on the game when he played, which is the biggest issue with violent games - hyper focus results in blurring reality and fantasy.

As for his friend that owns the game, I called his mom to find out why she had agreed to allow the game in their home, she didn't know what she was buying. She was going with the Christmas list and her husband's recommendation to buy it. Now that he has it she feels she can't just take it back. She'd rather it wasn't there but what is done is done. Her son's time on video games is limited due to his extra curricular activities and he only plays with friends.

I wish that my son wouldn't have access to violent video games, but its not a perfect world and other families have a different value system. I can't protect him from everything, I can only hope that he makes better decisions. He has to develop his own belief system and information as a tool to help him make decisions. I wish I could say that he was strong enough not to be effected by peer pressure but he's not. As kid's get older our control over them is diminished and we know less about what decisions they face every day. It's not good enough to give them rules to follow, they have to understand the reasons behind the rules and buy into the argument. Once they drink the Kool Aid, they will hopefully make better decisions.

Violent Video Game Atrraction and Effects

Impact of Violent Video Games on Kids

Video game management for pre teens

Video games and Children's Health

Mental Health and Video Games

Scientific Studies of the Effects

New Puppy = No Sleep. Who's Bright Ideas was This Puppy thing Anyway?

2010-11-06T18:48:00.000-07:00

Puppies, who's bright idea was it to get one? Oh ya mine. What was I thinking? I thought getting a dog would be simple, it was not. I thought everyone would help out, I was wrong. I thought it would be a great thing for the kids, I was right. It may be more work then I thought but seeing the kids play with the puppy instead of sitting in front of the TV is worth it.

When we first went to the breeders to meet the little guy he was so cute and playful. Just a tiny bundle of fur running after the kids on the lawn. The 2 week wait until we could take him home was killing the kids, to be honest it was hard for me too. Everyone was so excited and impatient we ended up getting him one day early. That was the beginning of the end for me. The next day I had to go pick up my mom from the airport and I didn't know what to do with him. He'd never been in a kennel and I didn't want him to be running around the room on his own. I finally decided to leave him in the kennel and hope the experience didn't make kennel training any harder then it was going to be. I couldn't believe that I cared he would be sad in his kennel.

Sure he's a cute and lovable bundle of black fur with the sweetest little puppy eyes that burn into your soul but could he please sleep. I need my sleep, consistently. Trying to get him to stop whining and to sleep in his new home was a flashback to my kids baby years. Getting up in the middle of the night to let him out to go "potty" is better than having to change a messy diaper but the interruption in sleep can be taxing. The result of all this missed sleep? Irritability which lead to fighting with everyone. I have not been the easiest person to live with this past week. My family should have been more understanding but obviously that would be asking too much.

My husband and daughter have all these rules when it comes to the puppy's care and worry about every little thing. The dog's shampoo is more expensive then mine, now that's pathetic. What to feed the dog was a whole other issue, lets just say I have an easier time feeding the kids. Heaven forbid I even think about giving the dog something without first having a discussion based on scientific research. My daughter panics if I'm not paying attention to everything the puppy does and allow him to chew on a cardboard box or two. You'd think that with all the rules and demands these two have, they'd be picking up some of the slack. I could only be so lucky.

The amount of attention the kids give the little guy isn't enough but when they do pay attention to the little guy it is heart warming. The first day they fought over who got to play with him, by the third day I couldn't get either of them to do anything with him. At least until I threatened to send him back to the breeder, then they were front and center to help out. I love to watch them play with him and take him for a walk. If anything this new addition to our family has us outside more then ever before. I may be his main caregiver but I won't be his favorite one for long. I may wonder what I got myself into and if its worth all the extra effort but when I'm honest with myself I'd have to say 'yes'. I mean who could say 'no' to a face like his.

Gotta Make a Chocolate Bar Halloween Costume - OH HENRY!!!!

2010-10-23T13:50:00.000-07:00

This year my daughter has her mind set on being a chocolate bar for Halloween, at first I thought OK easy enough - cardboard, paint, and some tin foil. Well, she never takes the easy route, she wants to be an Oh Henry bar.

When it comes to sewing I have no skills - none! Rounded cardboard box, not so easy to come by. Perhaps some yellow poster board. I know if it doesn't look exactly like the chocolate bar she's going to pout and then all that work will have been for nothing. So, I did some Internet surfing and here's what I've found when it comes to making a chocolate bar costume:

Homemade costumes.
How to make a Chocolate Bar Costume
Hershy Bar from Garbage Bag
A S'more anyone?
Buy A Snickers Bar Costume
Buy a Three Muskateers Costume

Today I went out to Wal Mart - found a box for free and bought 2 yellow poster boards to glue on it. Now to get out the paint and start making it look like an oh henry bar! It will be a rectangular oh Henry bar but at least people will get what she's suppose to be.

In the end my daughter made the costume herself. She used my cricut to cut out the letters using black contact paper and red construction paper. She used markers to write the smaller details on the bar. We attached it to a cardboard box and painted her face brown to cover it in chocolate. Everyone loved her costume and she ended up with a lot of oh henry bars in her trick or treat bag.

My son's costume is a whole other issue - Artillery Zobie Soldier....... What ever happened to pirates, princesses, and superheros?

What to do? What to do? It's a PD day..... again.

2010-10-22T12:41:00.000-07:00

PD days, there is a lot of them and my on a rainy day with no money are..... not much. Right now they are playing video games after sleeping in. I've been checking the Internet for things to do in Vancouver for next to nothing. There are lots of parks, beaches, and pools but its raining.

There may not be anything free to do but there is a lot to do for cheap and thankfully a local family has listed them all with valuable information for people like me. Check out their Find Family Fun website.

Today I think we'll go to Steveston for fish n chips and to check out the local fisherman's catch.

We might get a little wet but the fish and chips will be worth it.

You Can't buy an Animal on Craigslist but You can buy a Child or Woman.

2010-10-16T10:28:00.000-07:00

Ontario and Manitoba have asked Craigslist CEO, Jim Buckmaster, to stop enabling sex traffickers to make money by not allowing sex trade ads to be run. According to the Calgary Herald Craigslist has stopped the ads south of the border but not in Canada and does not plan to.

In my search for a family pet I discovered that there are no ads allowed to sell an animal as a pet. Craigslist has put the rights of animals ahead of profits to help stop puppy mills and puppy brokers from making quick cash. Why don't women and children who find themselves forces into the sex trade not given the same consideration?

Are women and children not as valuable to the world as animals are? Does the CEO value animals stuck in puppy mills more that those who are forced into a life of servitude? Most children and women do not choose a life in a brothel. Until the CEO of Craigslist starts to value human life as not something to buy and sell then I am boycotting the site, I encourage others to as well.

If you agree and want to boycott Craigslist until they remove sex trade ads please leave a comment and pass this post along to friends. Together we can make a difference.

Vancouver Sun Article
Vancouver Sun Article re Sex Trafficing in Canada
Sex Trafficking - Modern Day Slavery in Canada - lots of information on how women and children are forced into the sex trade and how immigrants are used as slave labour.
Canada an International Embarassment -

Buying a Dog - I have to be Approved!?!

2010-10-14T20:32:00.000-07:00

Buying a dog isn't something to do on a whim, especially if you are looking for a certain breed or personality. When we finally decided to get a puppy as a family pet I thought it would be a simple trip to the pet store with cash in hand. I was definetly in la la land, day dreaming, when I came up with that idea because buying a family dog is about the same as trying to find a job. Since my husband and kids are determined to avoid the puppy mills and buy from a quality breeder the process of finding the "right" dog has become very difficult.

I was flabbergasted when I first learned that we'd have to interview for a dog. I'm interviewed out, I've been on job interview after job interview, the last thing I wanted to do was interview for a dog. I'm not even a dog lover, in fact I don't have much use for animals. If my life depended on me coming up with an animal person type to discribe myself, I'd have to say I'm more of a cat person... no make that a fish person. Not that I want an aquarium to clean out but I like to swim and they don't need much attention.

By now you are probably wondering why I'm even thinking about buying a dog, let alone interviewing to be approved to purchase a dog. One word - Kids. My kids have bent over backwards for the last 2 years proving that they are responsible enough for a dog. They've begged, pleaded and all but sold their soul to get a dog. My son has babysat, fed, dressed and walked his little sister without grumbling or fussing and my daughter has cleaned, organized, and help out around the house. They have been patient and waited until we finally caved after over 2 years of asking.

I am realistic and I know that once the dog has been in the house for a while the kids will revert to lazy excuses and need to have a fire started under their butts to walk the dog. I have an ace up my sleeve though, my knight in shining armour, my husband, is an animal lover and will pick up the slack. He'll whine and have hissy fits but he'll take care of everything. That's the kind of guy he is - responsible. As an animal lover he'll have no choice but to take care of it as wonderfully as he cares for us.

If I really think about it though, I wasn't much for kids before I ended up with 2 of them. So maybe a dog will melt the ice and I will end up a dog person yet. Of course that's if we ever do find the "right" dog.... afterall, I do have to go through the interview process first.

Kids Home Sick!

2010-10-08T11:46:00.000-07:00

As if I didn't have enough to do, the kids are home sick. They aren't very sick, just getting sick and with all the germs running around , I thought quarantine would be best. I have to admit I am guilty of using a little throat tickle to spend more time with them. Mommy's prescription for a soar throat - extra cuddles in the morning and after lunch while watching cartoons and playing video games. There are some real benefits to being unemployed and stuck at home with no money. I'll take whatever 'joy' I can get from being cooped up in the house by myself.

Watch Parenthood Online in Canada

2010-10-05T11:22:00.000-07:00

I was disappointed when I couldn't watch Parenthood on Zshare anymore because all the other links on Casttv.com were American only viewing. Then I checked out local stations online to see what they had and I found Parenthood finally on Global TV.

So if you want to catch up on the latest episodes of Parenthood check out Global TV.

What is Going On? Is There Something Wrong with Me?

2010-10-04T20:16:00.000-07:00

I gotta tell you I'm beginning to wonder what in the world is wrong with me? I'm beginning to take the rejection personally. I have never in all my years, and that is quite a few, had such a hard time finding a job. I usually am choosing which one I want to take and if something goes array with one, there is another in the wings ready to scoop me up. Then again I've never looked for work in Vancouver before, maybe I just don't have that whatever it is Vancouver employers look for. -- Which is what exactly?

I wouldn't be in such a rush except I have no cash flow and the credit card company calls me everyday asking for money I just don't have - I have to buy my gas with spare change. Really it is embarrassing to drop $4.00 in change on the counter just to get a few more kilometers down the road. My husband, God love him, is stressed out because we doubled the mortgage when we moved out here and its all on him. I get it, but standing over me and blaming me for not giving it my all doesn't help.

Thing is, even if life was perfect, I had a job, could buy whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, I'd still find things to bitch about. To the bulk of the world I've got it good - I have a roof over my head and I'm not starving, all thanks to my hubby by the way. I've got two great kids and parents who love me. I couldn't ask for more.

Really what am I complaining for? How many mothers would love the chance to stay home with their kids? I should see my lack of employment as a blessing in disguise. I should be thrilled to be able to focus on my family and home. Thing is though, the job situation is consuming me and I can't think of anything else. At some point things will all work out and I'll wish I was unemployed and home with my kids.

Sibling Love in the Latest House TV Episode

2010-09-28T10:17:00.000-07:00

An impossible choice, one that no parent can make. The latest house episode left me in tears but showed an example of sibling love and courage. When push comes to shove do your children sacrifice for each other? My son is the giving one but he's getting to that age where he wants to be more independent, have more of his own identity without her. The result is more skirmishes, more arguments, and more tears. I yearn for the days when they were everything to each other but that was before friends. Its my job to help them learn how to communicate, accept, and love each other. Hopefully they will always remain healthy, God willing, but if not I hope there is enough love to give the gift of life.

zSHARE video - House.LOL71051_www.movieinfo.blog.com_.avi.flv

The Problem with Prayer

2010-09-27T12:36:00.000-07:00

I'm no pro when it comes to praying, I probably could use a few lessons. The problem with prayer though is communication, its all one sided most of the time. I tell God clearly what I want but I have to guess at what he wants. How is that fair?

God knows my trivial requests, a trampoline for the kids. He knows my urgent serious requests, a job please. He knows my important requests, support for a family friend dying of cancer. I ask him, what do you want from me? What is it that I am suppose to do now? What is your plan for my life? and I get nothing. I have to sift through a text written centuries before my time by a culture so foreign to me that I cannot possible understand the meaning behind every word.

I don't keep a record of prayers and a tally of those answered. I feel to do so would be testing God and I don't want to tempt fate for the worse. That takes my thoughts a whole different direction to that of Fate - how much is fate, chance, or personal fulfillment? How much of what happens in my life is a direct result of answered prayer? or is it just the consequence of actions and decisions made?

I have been lead astray by thinking this must be what God wants because everything is coming together, then it all falls apart. I've believed that a prayer is in the process of being answered only to find out that things are getting worse not better.

I'm tired of guessing, I want a road map, I want a detailed outline, I want to know what decision is the right one. Am I asking too much for a dialog? a relationship where both parties are equally engaged? Probably, after all I am talking about God here. There is no equality. I am but an ant, one of thousands on this tiny ball in the middle of the universe. Maybe the only comfort I can take is that prayer if not heard, is at least helping me define what I want out of life. Today that happens to be cash flow.

Homelessness - But for the Grace of God Go I....

2010-09-14T09:23:00.000-07:00

I never really thought about how a family ends up out on the streets but I've been thinking about it lately. I've been out of work for a year now, and out of Employment Benefits for 3 months, my bank account is in a negative balance and I am unable to pay even the minimum balance on my credit cards. I have no way of putting gas in the car or even buying a bus ticket. I have absolutely no income.

I am so frustrated at how hard its been to find a position that works for me and my family. When I look back at my job search and the types of jobs that I should have taken I am filled with regret. Especially when I can't even afford to put my kids in extra curricular activities. I feel guilty my kids friends are off to after school activities and I can't afford something as cheap as Brownies.

Thankfully I am married to a wonderful man who is gainfully employed at the moment. However, if for some reason the economy takes a turn for the worst and he finds himself on unemployment insurance we will loose everything and be out on the street.

But for the Grace of God go I..... Without my husband's income we'd be on the street starving to death. The sad thing is that there are too many families on the street unable to afford housing, food, or things for their children. There are too many who are employed but can't afford the high prices of rent or food. Not everyone on the street is there because of drug or alcohol addiction, some just can't afford to be anywhere else.

We throw a can of food into the food bank bin, we toss some coins at charities assuming they are handling the situation. We don't see the homeless families so we assume they aren't there. We go through our life thinking that its someone else's problem, but tomorrow it could be ours.

Should Kids Play with Kids Older than Them?

2010-09-10T17:57:00.000-07:00

My friend's daughter, who is 8, is spending a lot of time with girls who are 12 years old. She's torn about how to handle the situation.

In one respect her little girl is getting a boost to her self esteem because the older girls keep complimenting her and teach her new cheer leading moves. On the other hand she is neglecting friends her age and hurting her relationships with her peers.

I had a similar situation with my son earlier this year when he was hanging out with a boy 5 years older. It was much easier for me to say that they couldn't hang out because they didn't go to school together. Its harder for my friend because her daughter is at the same school as her older friends and plays with them every chance she can. By ignoring her peers on the playground in favor of older friends she is damaging her friendships with peers. For example my daughter thought they weren't friends anymore because she (the 8 yr old) was always running off to find her older friends.

I can understand how cool it feels for a younger child when older kids pay attention to them. However, its not good for younger children to always be with children years older than them. Older children are going through things younger children can't comprehend, nor should they. Can children form real friendships with children 4-5 years older than them? As siblings possibly over time but as school mates, I'm not so sure.

In Calgary the schools are divided more then the schools in BC. In Calgary my children couldn't go to the same school because of the way they are divided: Grade K-4, 5-7, 8-10, and 11-12. In BC they are in the same school: Grade K-7, 8-12. I don't like the way younger kids are put onto the playground with older kids and I certainly don't like it when grade 8 girls are hanging around grade 12 boys.

In my girlfriend's case I can see how this friendship gives her little girl confidence but I believe it should be monitored and limited so that better friendships with peers have a chance to grow.

Sibling Rivalry - Don't Let it Be the Norm in Your Home

2010-09-03T09:09:00.000-07:00

I hear parents talking about their kids fighting like its a right of passage, a badge of honor, something that is natural, something to be proud of. They are more concerned about how the fighting effects them instead of how it is effecting the sibling’s relationship. If parents truly want their children to get along and be lifelong friends then it is up to them to ensure it happens. It comes down to the parent to figure out why their children can't get along and that takes effort, time, communication, conflict management, and a bit of psychology.

If a child is about to become a sibling, now is the time to start educating them on the realities of being a big brother or sister. Forget the fluff, after all, the baby won't be a playmate for awhile and will take a lot of mommy's attention and energy for the first few months. You need to figure out ways that the older child can help care for the new baby by giving them responsibility and communicate your expectations. As an older sibling they are responsible for helping care for and teach the younger sibling. Above all though, make sure you make time for the older sibling. Special mommy and son/daughter time will go a long way to help quench feelings of resentment. Elicit your spouse to step up and take on a more involved role with the older child, father and son/daughter time will help them develop a stronger relationship and make the older child feel special because they can do stuff the baby can't. Ask grandparents and friends to take an active interest in the older child and not just coo over the baby. Have the older child introduce his/her new sibling to friends and family thereby ensuring he/she feels like part of the process. Building a close sibling relationship starts at conception and by involving the older child with a responsible role.

If your children are a little older make sure you don't step in between them too much. It's always tempting to solve their fights or champion the one you see as being the underdog. When younger children start to fight just separate them, it’s probably time for them to have some alone time anyway. If they are fighting over a toy, just take the toy away - if they can't share it then neither gets it. By not taking one child's side over the other you ensure that both are treated equal - favoritism or perceived favoritism is the root of sibling rivalry. Once separated young children usually settle down and are ready to play again. You don't have to put them on time out and punish them - just send them to their corners or rooms to cool off and play by themselves for a little while. They will come out and start playing again on their own when they are ready. Younger children learn from natural consequences rather than elaborate teaching concepts like time outs to solve conflict.

When kids are older and can communicate how they feel or what they think, its time for the parents to listen. If they are fighting, separate them into separate rooms, give them time to calm down and then talk with each of them one on one. Just make sure that you aren't always talking to one child first all the time. Listen to what each of them says and ask them leading questions to help them see things from the other child's perspective. Ask questions to help them see how they contributed to the problem and how they can solve the issue. Don't let them get away with self-pity, which leads to unrealistic and untrue conclusions. Call them on lies and help them to understand reality. As children get older parents can utilize communication skills to put each child into each other’s shoes and come up with their own solutions.

Sibling rivalry is not a necessary right of passage. Families can find harmony in each other if they listen and find common ground. Discipline has its place in raising children but it doesn’t belong as a solution to sibling rivalry. Bring children closer by increasing their responsibility for each other, encouraging communication, focusing on common interests and celebrating differences. I believe that with a little work and some communication any family can avoid sibling rivalry and develop close sibling bonds.

Prayer - Does it Matter? Does it Work? Why Bother?

2010-08-18T23:46:00.000-07:00

Ever feel like your prayers fall on deaf ears, that its just a waste of time? I've been there, heck I'm there. Life has a way of throwing you curve balls that cause you to strike out. Ever feel bone tired but unable to sleep? Drained of all emotion and left feeling lost wanting to give up? Ever wonder if God really cares?

Everyone of us has a sob story, a feel sorry for ourselves, all out no one loves me type of story. We pray and believe that our prayers have fallen on deaf ears or worse they've been heard but God just doesn't care.

We watch the news and believe that the world is the worst it has ever been and it can't get any worse. When in reality its better in so many ways then when the Romans ruled the known world, then when Genghis Khan ran rampant throughout central Asia. We forget how terrifying the inquisition was, or what the common person went through during the dark ages. We forget how dehumanizing and violent hand to hand combat was compared to today's impersonal killing from a distance.

When things are going terribly wrong for us, when we can't find solace in our prayers we forget when our prayers were answered. We forget what we are asking for, we forget to look deep inside ourselves to find some sort of answer. We only want the response that we seek, we do not seek the response that is given. To often we miss the answer because we are too stuck, too busy, too self centered to see what is right in front of us.

How often do we get bogged down in the troubles of today, only to forget the glory of yesterday or the promise of tomorrow? I try hard to focus on my blessings, but too often I forget about them because I am focused on what I want.

Too often we see the trials others go through and pray that God would heal, provide, or "fix". All we see is that God is not answering our prayer and the person continues to suffer. We don't understand what is going on behind the scenes, the global or spiritual implications - but God does.

Today was difficult, but is that God's fault or mine? As hard as it is for me to admit it, I have to say mine. I made choices that resulted in consequences I didn't foresee or want. I didn't ask the questions that would have provided me the necessary answers to make better decisions. Should God fix it? Should I expect that he'll step in and take away the consequences, just because I asked him too? Can God change my DNA so that life will be easier, different, better? I thought about how unappreciated I felt today and how my kids and my husband hurt me. Is it so different for God when we don't appreciate what he has done for us, how he made us, or how he answers us? Maybe some prayers are best left unanswered.

A New System to Motivate the Kids to Help Out Around the House....

2010-08-14T13:36:00.000-07:00

I am constantly trying new ways to get the kids to help out without it becoming a huge fight. Every time I start a new system the kids get motivated for a day.... Hopefully this new system will work.

Both kids want to go somewhere - My daughter wants to go to the water slides and my son wants to go to Seattle. I was so pissed off at them yesterday I decided I wasn't doing anything nice for them until they started helping out. So I created a points system.

If they do some work around the house they get a point.
If they do it without being asked they get another point.
If they do a bigger job the get an extra point.
If they do what they are told they get a point.

In order to go to their place of choice they need to collect 40 points each. I will not be doling out money or driving them anywhere without enough points.

I'm not sure how long this will last... hopefully longer then the marbles idea.

God grant me Patience the Summer.... Getting the kids Outside is a War of Wills

2010-08-13T13:54:00.000-07:00

Trying to get my kids to go outside is resulting in a lot of screaming, removal of privledges, threats, and hair pulling. I'm not feeling good because I've had the stomach flu so my irritability is high and my tolerance is low.

Despite being jumped on, covers ripped off, screamed at my son didn't get out of bed until noon then promptly came down and demanded breakfast. No food for big boys who can't get out of bed in time - He had to find his own food.

My daughter was given a limited amount of time to play video games since she'd just spent 3 weeks at the cabin with no electronics. An hour after deadline and me screaming at her I finally had to threaten canceling a trip to the Cultus Lake waterslides.

I am a busy person, just like every mother and need my kids to listen without me strong arming them and beating them to a pulp. In between watering gardens, applying for work, working on my own business, and trying to clean the kitchen I have to remind them to do what they were told, over and over again.

Why do transitions have to be so hard for my kids? It takes 3 times as long as it should for them to go from one activity to another or to get ready to leave the house. It's not like their babies or toddlers and need me to dress them and get them ready, but they still need me to stand over them and give them step by step instructions just to get out the door.

God please grant me some patience today and take away this irratibility so that I can get through today without creating a war zone with my children. - Amen.

A Prayer for My Children

2010-08-09T07:19:00.000-07:00

While unpacking and going through stuff I found a prayer for my children I had written about 6 years ago. Looking back at the last 6 years I would say that it has been answered and its time to pray these words again as my son is quickly coming upon the dreaded teen years. I prayed these words daily for a time and although God has answered this prayer I hope that by taking up these words again he'll continue to answer it.

Lord,

I ask you to give both (my son and daughter) wisdom. Tune their ears to wisdom and their concentration to understanding. Inspire them to search it out as they would lost money or hidden treasure, so they will understand what it means to fear you Lord and gain knowledge of you. For only you grant wisdom and from your mouth comes knowledge and understanding. Grant them good sense, or common sense, and be their shield protecting them as they walk with integrity. Give them understanding for what is right, just and fair, so that they can find the right course of action every time. Allow wisdom to enter their hearts with Joy. For wise planning will watch over them and understanding will keep them safe.

Lord, I ask that you will give them an understanding mind so they will know right from wrong, as you gave to Soloman, but also give them the courage to put it into action. Lord, may they listen to the teachings of (my husband) and I, may it crown them in grace and clothe them in honour.

Lord, pour out the spirit of wisdom upon them and make them wise. It was by your wisdom, oh Lord, that you founded the earth, by your understanding you established the heavens and by your knowledge the deep fountains of the earth burst forth and the clouds poured down rain. The profit of wisdom is better than silver and her wages are better than gold. These things I pray for my children.

Lord help them to learn to be wise and develop good judgement. Lord I plead that wisdom will cry out to them and they will hear her raising voice. May the welcome her and all that comes with her. May they see her value above that of gold, silver, and rubies. May it multiply their days and add years to their Lives. Lord, there is no greater gift than that of your wisdom. If you are only to give them one gift may it be that of wisdom and the courage to act upon it. - Amen.

As I copy this I realize how convoluted and formal it sounds. When I wrote it down 6 years ago I was studying prayers of the Old Testament and have recommitted my self to studying prayer recently so it is fitting that I copy this prayer at this time.

Six years ago, seems like such a long time ago and so much has changed since. I am not as satisfied or content as I was, then again at the time I focused more on my daily blessings then what I was lacking. I wasn't distracted by the TV or the Internet, I was focused on reading and studying the Bible from cover to cover. Maybe its time I recommitted myself to learning and study and turned off the distractions and have quiet in the house. Now if I could just get the crows to be quiet....

Drive In Movies - Karate Kid and Grown Ups

2010-07-11T11:54:00.000-07:00

Last night we took the kids to the local drive in movie theater for a double feature. We mean to go every summer we are hear but the movies don't always comply with our timing - This year though the double feature was Karate Kid and Grown Ups. It's a good thing my kids can stay up late and then sleep in the next day because the movie didn't start 'til 9:15pm and was done at 1:30am.

We took our camping chairs and sat out under the stars and enjoyed ourselves. Grown Ups was the favorite movie according to my husband and kids, they love comedy and Adam Sandler is one of their favorite comedians. Personally, I would wait until it hits DVD and rent the movie. There is some gorgeous scenery of the lake and the surrounding countryside but nothing that needs a big screen to be appreciated. The story itself was predictable and the kids laughed at some parts but for all the talent I felt it came up short in the laugh department. Then again I've never been one for slap stick humour. The message of the story was not lost on me, and since we are spending time at the cabin with no video games, computer, TV or cell phones the kids are living the outdoors.

I preferred Karate Kid, it was filled with amazing scenery and culture. After watching I was so impressed I wanted to visit China for the first time. I was blown away by the images on the big screen but felt I missed the full impact by being so far back. It is a movie to see in the big theater. Jaden Smith was amazing and the amount of work he put into the role proves that he is a talented hard working actor in his own right. Its rare that I want to watch a movie twice, or want to pay theater prices to watch it once let alone twice on the big screen, this is one of those movies.

The outdoor experience of the movies and the rare drive in experience was truly a great family movie night moment.

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Summer at the Lake - A Time to Read.

2010-07-10T21:28:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what it is about life at the family cabin, but everytime I'm there I go into a slumber. The cabin is a great place for me to catch up with my cousins and their families but I go into an anti-social stuper. All I feel like doing is sleeping, eating, swimming, and most of all reading. This is the one place where I read fiction novels and I consume a book a day at least. I always take parenting books etc with the best of intentions to catch up on my non fiction reading but I rarely break their spines. I picked up a bunch of novels at used book stores and garage sales, yes I am very behind when it comes to reading the annual best sellers or Oprah approved books.

Along with some good reads by John Grisham and Joy Fielding, This year I picked up:

Memoires of a Geisha
Letter in a bottle
She's come Undone

I loaded the car down with books for the kids to read, since there isn't much to do up there except swim and read. NO TV, internet, cell service, video games, or computers. This year I left their portable video games at home. My daughter spends almost every minute in the water or playing with her grandparents. My son always has his nose in a book and avoids swimming or exercise. This year he has an excuse though, on our first day of camping he was hit by a tree and sprained both ankles, that's for another post though. Since there is no TV, cell service, video games, or computers at the cabin they have little choice but to occupy their time reading or running around in the great outdoors.

I'm always looking for a good book or a good writer at garage sales just before I head out to the cabin. This year I found a few but I've almost exhausted my favorite readers and am open to suggestions.... What's your favorite book to read at the beach or curled up with a glass of wine.

I've been talking with other kids we've been visiting with, trying to find another series of books the kids will like. So far Percy and the Olympians and something about the Ranger's apprentice are the front runners for my pocket book. What books do you're kids like to read?

What's so Great about being a Princess Anyway?

2010-06-22T14:44:00.000-07:00

I watched the pilot episode of 'The Tudors' the other day and was curious to learn more about life in the court of Henry VIII. Thanks to the Internet I was able to find a massive amount of information on him, his wives, his children, and his ancestors. The questions that struck me at the time was, "why would any little girl ever want to be a princess?"

The fairytale princess that little girls dress up as and dream of did not exist in reality. Princesses were betrothed in the first few years of life then sent away to live with the in-laws until their wedding day at the age of 12 or 13. Many married men much older then themselves who left them widowed at a very young age. The men they married were not knights in shining armour but spoiled power hungry brutes with many mistresses. Even contemporary princesses have found themselves in loveless marriages which lead to self destruction.

So what is the draw when we look at our daughters and picture them as our little princesses? Why does Disney make a fortune portraying princesses that are in distress and in love with the perfect prince? After all, we all know the perfect prince does not exist. To be fair, neither does the perfect princess. Yet we are drawn to the illusion of the perfect romance from a young age and continue to buy into it with romance novels as we get older. Should we not be preparing ourselves for the reality of love?

Reality seems boring when we live it, yet we all know a movie based on reality is much more interesting then a story based purely on fiction. Was Diana's life so glamorous and interesting that ours pales by comparison? I'm sure glamour can get boring when its your reality day in and day out. I remember watching Diana's wedding to Charles and theirs was a fairytale love story, at the time .... Now we know different, even fairy tales are not what they seem.
My daughter is the anti-princess. She doesn't like to dress up as a princess, doesn't act the part and certainly isn't looking for a knight in shining armour. As much as I'd like to take credit for this attitude, I can't, she's just made that way. I bought crowns and dresses for the dress up corner but they laid there unworn. I see in her a strong girl who knows her mind, and as difficult as that can be sometimes, I'd rather that then a Sleeping Beauty any day.

Marijuana in Canada and Ineffective Laws

2010-05-22T12:00:00.000-07:00

The ineffective laws created by the courts have made the illegality of marijuana laughable. It might as well be a legalized and regulated making our communities safer. Personally, I think marijuana is a bad thing and should be criminalized but since our court system is unwilling to act on laws put in place to protect society, we'd all be better off if it were legalized. The pro marijuana and free Marc Emery protests happening in Canada are evidence at how absurd the whole mess really is.

Protesters in the lower mainland BC are rolling joints in MP's offices and the police are there only to make sure they stay peaceful. The protesters don't light up because it is illegal to smoke anything, including legal cigarettes, in public places.

Protesters in Calgary, AB rolled a huge joint on the desk of the leader of this country, our premier Stephen Harper. They then proceed to light that joint and smoke it in his office. Police do nothing to stop them.

All this proves is that the courts have tied the hands of law enforcement and have, in practice, legalized the drug. The protesters are not protesting the illegality of the drug, after all nothing happens to them when they break the laws that govern this substance. They are protesting the extradition of Marc Emery to the US for breaking US laws governing the sale of marijuana seeds. In Canada Mr. Emery would receive a $200.00 fine for the offence, he's facing jail time in the US.

In my opinion, if you do the crime you do the time. Mr. Emery was well aware of the laws and choose to ignore them - the consequence of that decision is jail. Had he just done business in Canada he'd still be walking around the streets free as a bird.

The courts have thrown out case after case, frustrating the efforts of the RCMP. The judges continually allow criminals to operate in our communities making them unsafe for our children. Powerful and dangerous criminals continue to grow, smuggle, and sell marijuana with no regard for their neighbours safety or health. To change the situation the whole legal system would need to be turned upside down because the laws as they stand now protect the criminals.

The government and courts need to make a decision and stand by it.... either marijuana is a legal substance or an illegal substance. The whole mess of making it illegal and enabling judges to interpret the laws to ensure criminals receive a slap on the wrist, if that, is laughable.

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Parenthood - Not the Easiest Job Around

2010-05-20T09:42:00.000-07:00

Being a parent isn't easy, its filled with trials and tribulations that lead to extreme frustration. We want the best for our kids, we want to be perfect but we fall short. Parents are only human, we make mistakes that we feel guilt over for years. We second guess our decisions, we bend over backwards to make our kids happy only to feel unappreciated and taken for granted.

My oldest is just hitting the pre-teen years but it feels like he's been there forever. My youngest is always demanding more and more of everything and anything. Some days I feel like no matter what I do, it's not enough, I've come up short and I've missed the boat. The constant demands of this blood sucking duo at times can leave me empty. Yet when I think I have nothing left to give they say "thank you mom, I love you" and I find that my bucket is full to the brim with so much more to give them.

Every day is filled with decisions that effect those in our family. We try hard to put on a facade of perfection to those outside but its a lie. Every family, no matter how perfect they look, has problems, issues, and make mistakes. Trying to be perfect causes more stress and problems for a family then just admitting your human. Every family yells, hurts each others feelings, makes bad decisions, wants more, needs more, and find themselves in situations they never thought they'd be in.

What all parents need to do is give themselves a break. Kids grow up to be who they choose to be and as long as you did your best, you loved them, and were there to support them when they needed you - you were the perfect parent. As long as you didn't beat them, abuse them, or misuse them you were the perfect parent.

So parents pick up the phone and call your parents and say "Thank you for being the perfect parents." After all, parents were kids once and weren't the easiest little people to raise. Forgive the little mistakes and frustrations you have with your parents because guess what - your making mistakes and frustrating your kids now.

Parenthood - The TV Show. One of my favorites!

An episode which examines the importance of Communicating with our children and just showing up.

My Son's Auditions are Becoming a Part Time Job for Me

2010-05-18T09:28:00.000-07:00

I am surprised at how many auditions my son's agent has booked for him in such a short period of time. I guess "they" were right - after the Olympics the industry would pick up again. My son was happy with the agency when he signed up because they didn't have any other kid's with his "look." There are agencies out there which specialize in children but he choose one that didn't. He didn't want to compete within the agency for exposure and wanted someone who needed him as much as he needed them.

It gives me a day in the city with my son every week, which is really nice. I barely see him anymore, he's always out with his friends. The auditions give us a reason to go into the city together. Whenever I can I make a day of it, but mostly it is a nice few hours to spend together having lunch and talking.

Today is the first audition where he has to miss some school. He's thrilled about it, his teachers - not so much. I am hoping that the amount of school he'll miss for auditions will be few but it is what it is. Time will tell, if it ends up being too much time off school for a lot of 5 minute auditions we may have to revisit the benefits of this venture.

There are a lot of life long benefits for him going on auditions - not just financial if he gets work. He's learning about preparing for job interviews, interviews, and how to handle rejection. He understands that when he doesn't get a part it's not personal, someone else just had what they were looking for and maybe next time he'll have what they are looking for. I am gaining wisdom from his outlook on the process.

Although I'm not 100% sure about him having an agent and going on audition after audition, I am trying to focus on the benefits. There are quite a few benefits but time with my son is the biggest benefit of all!

"Woe is Me" Rant....

2010-05-13T12:22:00.000-07:00

OK I hate the whole woe is me thing but today.... I'll make an exception. A month and a half to go before the money runs out and I passed up on the one and only job offer paying real money I received because I couldn't figure out daycare.

I've reassessed my resume, I've sent out so many resumes I've lost track. I've sent out emails, I've made phone calls, I've knocked on doors, I've met with people, I've updated my online contact lists, and I've applied for advertised positions.

OK so I'm frustrated, I look at the four walls that surround me and am going cabin crazy. I want to work, I want to be home for my kids, I want time for myself, most of all I want an income better then what I have.

I know I could be starting my own business and really I should, I've got the skills and the desire, I just can't pull myself together to do it. Since I'm on EI, I really can't do it because it's one of those not allowed to do things. My employment counsellor believes I have too many marketable skills to refer me to the SEED program.... so I feel a little stuck. I can't believe I've left it at that, I should push and demand the recommendation, after all that is what a "GOOD" salesperson and entrepreneur does.... but I'm deflated, done like dinner with a screw it attitude.

I'm not sure why I'm so unmotivated, I don't want to sit here day in and day out doing nothing but cleaning and being alone. I want to do something, but I don't know..... I can't put my finger on it, maybe that's the problem.

I'm tired of fighting, trying to convince others, to sell something, to get them to see me. Who I am , my skills, my strengths, my willingness to work hard for the promise of more. I think I was sick of the being employed game way before I even wrote my resume. I am tired of having my life, my success, my future in the hands of someone else. Some days I'm just plain tired. Maybe one day things will come together and this post will be a stupid blip, an embarrassment and a joke all wrapped in one. Deep down I know I'm better than this, I know I have the abilities needed to persevere, but right now I'm ready to lie down and surrender.

Time to enjoy the sun and maybe tomorrow........

UPDATED:
Life sucks until you find out someone else's life sucks worse. I just stopped by facebook to find out a schoolmate's 3 year old son died today. I can't find a job, big deal - so what - that's nothing compared to his loss today. I feel petty and stupid - what a self centered wallowing ass I've been today. I've got my kids - they are healthy and happy - THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS!!!!!

Home Schooling - OK Let's Try it?

2010-05-12T11:41:00.000-07:00

My son is verbally and visually gifted with a processing disorder which is causing some real difficulties at school. I tried to find a school with programs that focus on his type of learning. I couldn't find any - So he attends the local elementary school and at first it seemed things would go good but I was wrong, they've been going steadily downhill.

When I meet with his teachers I hear things like, "he's not working to his potential." "He doesn't do the work, he just sits there." "I need to stand over him and constantly bring him back into focus." "He's not organized." "His knowledge is above grade level but his work is way below grade level." "He won't stop reading in class."

My son is a conceptual learner - tell him something and he's got it right away. He's a project based producer not a worksheet based producer. Give him a project and he'll eagerly bite into it and produce results beyond expectations. Give him worksheets and you'll never see them again.

For example, his class was assigned two book reports, one could be presented in whatever format they choose, the other was to be written on paper with drawings. For the first book my son choose to make a movie trailer of the book. I taped his ramblings about the book, he took some pictures, downloaded others and then edited the whole mess into a cohesive reader response. This seemed to take no time and his teacher was so impressed she gave him a special postcard note to say how impressed she was. The other report took him forever to write down and his drawings were less then stellar. Her response was to tell me, "he could have done better, as it was lacking. He should have spent more time on it." To me this proved that given the right type of learning tools he could excel beyond anyone's expectations.

My son has requested to be home schooled, I'm convinced its because he just wants to watch TV and play video games all day. I'm not sure what else to do though, he needs someone to keep him on task when tasks are boring. Other things like projects I am confident he'll fly through on his own. I know it's a lot of work but my kid is worth it.

This summer will be the test - we're going to give him projects, let him find projects to do and work towards completing a basic curriculum. If that works we'll seriously look at figuring out how to home school, which may not be easily achieved since I am going back to work.

Women Living in Vancouver Area -- GIRLS NIGHT OUT

2010-05-11T11:03:00.000-07:00

Do you live in the Lower Mainland Vancouver? Are you looking to meet new friends and make new connections?

I am presently organizing girls night out events that will be filled with fun, entertainment, prizes and networking.

If you are interested in more information leave me a comment and I'll make sure you get notified.

If I had a Million Dollars .... it still wouldn''t be enough!

2010-04-29T13:41:00.000-07:00

A million dollars sounds like so much money, especially to my kids, but in reality if I won a million dollars it wouldn't be a win fall. My kids brought up the "if I won a million dollars" fantasy the other day and I started to think, what if I won a million dollars?

Once I paid off my house, set aside some money for the kids education, and took a family vacation there wouldn't be anything left.

That is just depressing. So if I won a million dollars I'd move to Mexico or the Caribbean and live off the cash.... financial planning be damned. When I started working in the financial planning industry in 1995 a million dollar retirement savings plan provided a decent retirement. Not today though, today you're house better be paid off before you retire, you need at least a million and have a couple rental properties or a small business to bring in cash too.

I have a few more decades before I need to think about retirement, by then how much money will be enough to retire in comfort? If I had a million dollars.... I'd be comfortable but not rich.

Recurring Nightmare ... Missing Daughter

2010-04-27T10:00:00.000-07:00

I keep having a nightmare that my daughter is missing. I felt the absolute grief and emptiness while I searched for her. Every time I pictured her face I'd lose all sanity and an intense emptiness would envelope me, all I wanted was my baby girl. A little girl I'll never see again, even awake, because like every parent, I've lost my baby to time.

She is older and wants more freedom, freedom to walk to a friends house, freedom to ride her bike in the cul de sac out front, walk with her older brother to school. I utilize a walkie talkie to ensure I am with her at all times but even this isn't enough to quench my fears. When she walks to a friends house, all of a block away, I talk with her. I ask her if she sees strangers, I ask her if there are any cars, I ask her to describe either if she sees them. I instruct her to look around and identify any dangers she can and then help her steer clear of them. The great thing about the walkie talkie is that the volume on her end is so loud that everyone can hear what I'm saying to her. A stranger that is being described to someone may feel a little weird, but at least I know the description of the person she just passed.

When kids are small we keep a tight leash on them but as they grow the leash gets tight and they need more length or it will eventually break. Thanks to technology it easier to keep the leash tight but give it more slack at the same time.

My parents think I'm nuts sometimes, giving my kids technology that they deem as unnecessary, that is until they see the advantages. First it was the DVD player in the car.... why in the world would my kids need to watch tv in the car.... Oh I don't know maybe because I would drive 6 hours plus to visit them with the kids on my own. It's a lot safer to drive when they aren't bugging the hell out of you.

The next unnecessary item for my kids... a cell phone. At the moment the walkie talkies work because I am always in range. However, when I go back to work that won't always be the case and I can talk to them as they go to childcare facilities or if I'm running a little late and they have to go home on their own. (My son is babysitting age).

I'll never get my baby girl back. I miss constant cuddles, hugs, and kisses but I am enjoying the new relationship that is building between my daughter and myself. I know that the nightmares aren't real but I still wake up in a sweat longing for my baby.

Renovation Frustration - Storage Needed!

2010-04-24T14:42:00.000-07:00

I have this space in my dining room, most homes built in the 80's and 90's do, I want to convert the spot for a buffet into storage space. The issue - my tight budget... I have no money, being unemployed kinda has that effect on a wallet. It's frustrating because the cost of built ins is so high, I'm probably looking at a couple thousand dollars just for the supplies.

The other frustrating part is figuring out what I want in this space. Do I want it to be complete storage or do I want countertop space or should it be bookshelves with doors? Are there bookcases that are 2 feet deep? Can I get away with white MDF or should I look for paintable shelving or prestained? Does MDF come in espresso or black brown?

I guess I'll have to go hang out at Home Depot or Rona to figure it out, another day shot.

Once its done it'll be great because I can start unpacking all my crafts and books but until then it's frustrating to live with an idea that I won't see finished for a long time. I've never been the most patient of people.

The Emerson GM522 Karaoke Machine - Reviewed

2010-04-17T19:49:00.001-07:00

I am getting really fed up with the lack of quality in products we've purchased lately. So I thought hey I'm gonna write about the ones that suck and the ones that rock -- this way you can hopefully put your money to better use then we did.

The first item up is the Karaoke machine I bought my daughter for Christmas on ebay. I usually don't buy stuff online because it costs way more by the time you pay for shipping and customs but I wanted the latest Karaoke machine and I couldn't get it at the local Toys R Us here in Canada. I didn't pay full price but I didn't pay much less either, I was short on time and didn't need the extra hassles of waiting out bids that end up near the price anyway. By the time it went through customs and was delivered I had to add another 50% of the cost to the machine. Turns out the ebay seller just drop ships it from Kmart.... lesson one, drive across the border its cheaper.

The first issue ... the microphone that comes with it doesn't work very well.... you have to almost swallow it for your voice to come through. We had a professional quality mic already so I didn't worry to much about the crappy mic.

The next issue ... it worked good for about a month then all the CDs started skipping and whiting out the screen and the lyrics kept writing over themselves. Now it skips all the time and barely can play one bar without skipping. My daughter isn't dancing around and when it started was sitting in front of the machine reading the lyrics as she sang them. I watched her today and she just stood there reading the lyrics and the machine kept skipping the CD. I changed CDs a number of times but it didn't matter - it is definitely the machine and not the CD.

She loves playing with it so much I have to get it fixed somehow. I'm going to try calling Emerson and see what their client service says. Failing that - I don't know what to do, any suggestions?

Punishing my Son for What Friends Do

2010-04-16T09:01:00.000-07:00

Kids can be mean, the playground is a tough place for a lot of kids. I am trying to teach my kids how to pick "good friends," and sometimes that means punishing them for their bad choices. When my son was young there was one incident where his friend was throwing rocks at a house while my son stood and watched. When our neighbour informed us of this transgression I quickly grounded my son for a week, his friend was not punished. Try explaining how that is fair to a little boy.

No matter what we do though he continues to stand by and watch as friends make stupid decisions or bully other kids. He knows its wrong, he feels bad when we talk about it, but he does nothing to remove himself from the situation, he doesn`t correct his friends or stand up for others. He just stands there and does nothing. Not the action I am looking for.

What he doesn`t understand and refuses to believe is that his friends will stop what they are doing if he leaves the area, if they are the types of kids to be friends with. If not then find new friends. It`s not like his friends are bullies or criminal, they just get wound up sometimes as boys do and don`t think about what they are doing at the time.

My son has picked some really great kids to be friends with and they sometimes feed off each others energy and the next thing you know someone has done something stupid. For 11 year olds stupid can be as innocent as running over a neighbours lawn or not making a new kid feel welcome. What I want is to ensure is that if my son knows what is going on is wrong or stupid to walk away, not to be involved. However at the time he doesn`t think, he gets wound up by their energy and cuts through private property or hurts a new friend`s feelings. It happens, I just want him to realize that their are consequences when he does it.

Birthday Party for an 11 year old Boy - Last Minute Showdown

2010-04-15T17:03:00.000-07:00

My son`s birthday was the day after my daughter`s birthday party so when her friends were picked up that morning we were off again. Thankfully he wanted to go dirt biking with dad so that just left my daughter and I to go find his present. Easier said then done, my kids have way too much stuff and trying to find them something that they will like, they need, and won`t clutter up the house was impossible. We were at the malls all day long and I forgot to pick up the cake. What kind of mother forgets to pick up the birthday cake? So at 9:00pm we were pulling into Dairy Queen to get the cake. Day one down, day two.......

I don`t know how I made it through day two. We had six 11 year old boys to entertain and keep busy. I had no idea what to do until a few hours before everyone arrived, thankfully the dollar store isn`t too far away. I planned on a scavenger hunt, followed by a friendly game of capture the flag, and if there was time a game of search and destroy.

Before the kids arrived I drove all over the neighbourhood tying balloons to signs, trees, fire hydrants, whatever I could without getting yelled at. I drew a letter on each balloon and made notes of some smaller landmarks. When I got home I started typing up the scavenger hunt lists, one list was letters with blank lines for them to fill in - what is the balloon lettered ___ tied to? The next list was a list of small items I wanted them to find, a rock, a dandelion, a yellow leaf, a piece of garbage that type of thing. The last list was a series of questions about what was located at certain addresses or intersections.

I divided the kids into 2 teams of 3 and each boy was given a clipboard with a list. They were to work as a team to find the items and answers to all three lists. Each team set out to do there best. While they were out I raced around with more balloons tying them to items and discovered someone had popped some of my balloons so I had to replace them as well. As soon as I got home I set up the food table so they could have a snack before the next round.

The teams were assigned a colour - Blue and Red. I used helium to blow up blue and red balloons and tied them to 4 liter milk jugs filled with water for the home bases. I used blue and red 8x10 pieces of felt for the flags and attached them to broom handles for the flags. I sent them off to the back 40 (the school field) to play a game of capture the flag until dinner was cooked.

My husband cooked hot dogs while I refilled the food table and I tallied up the points from the scavenger hunt. The blue team won and their prize was to eat first and get first pick of the goody bag prizes. I had bought various $5.00 DVD and $10.00 Video games from Wal Mart for them to choose from - Next year I need to buy more variety I ended up with more kids and not enough DVDs. As soon as they finished this they were off to play in the creek.

Once everyone had been picked up and things calmed down I realized that we totally forgot all about the birthday cake. Oh well, more for me I guess, not like my but really needs the extra calories. I should have planned the parties better but with so much going on I did the best I could. Sometimes though, these parties are the best - but next year I`ll start setting up sooner so I`m not running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to make the deadline.

A Birthday Party for 6 Screaming Girls - My Daughter`s 8th Birthday

2010-04-13T08:41:00.000-07:00

I can`t believe my daughter just turned 8!!! Thankfully her birthday party turned out to be a blast considering the lack of planning that went into it. The last 3 weeks have included, painting our new house, moving, my parents coming for a visit, Easter dinner with my extended family, my daughter`s family birthday, my son`s family birthday, my daughter`s birthday party, my son`s birthday party, extensive job interviews, and a full time course starting. Due to all the hoopla going on in my life I didn`t plan the birthday party, but it still came together beautifully.

Four little 8 year old girls arrived right on time, making the head count 5. They were so excited and started chasing my son around the house, so I sent them outside to run around the perimeter of the house as many times as they could. While they did this I blew up balloons with helium, cut up fruit and melted Nutella in the chocolate fountain. They loved this idea!!! Everything got covered in Nutella..... which was a huge issue because one guest was arriving later -- she has a peanut allergy!!! So I had to clean everything up with extra soap, so after they cleaned themselves up the girls went upstairs to play.

After I finished cleaning up I collected all the kid`s craft stuff I could find in the boxes of unopened toys. I set up a craft area in the dining room and all 6 girls came in to make 3 crafts, including their goody bags, a necklace, and a card. As they worked on these projects I got my husband on the bar b que to make hot dogs. Little girls make short time of eating!!! So while I cleaned up, yet again, I sent them to play upstairs and figured out what to do next.

As soon as I was done I grabbed the Hullabalo game for them to play. This game has been a party favorite since her 4th birthday, a life saver for me as it gives me time to take a breath and figure out what to do next. Time for Cake!!!! I used to make cakes, buy cakes and all the kids did was eat the icing and there was always leftover cake on their plates to be thrown out. Until, I discovered that if I made a jello cake and bought a Dairy Queen ice cream cake there would be no left overs on the plates - the kids lick their plates clean.

Earlier that day, I skipped out of class early and went shopping for the food because I was picking up my friend`s kids from the school until she could get home from work. After she picked them up my daughter and I bolted for Dairy Queen to pick out an ice cream cake. She had to pick it herself, if you knew my daughter you`d know that she has to have what she wants and no substitute will suffice.

So after cake was served and devoured I found the CD case and the CD player -- Time for dancing to Hannah Montana. I had a couple small clip boards and the girls took turns judging each dance. This gave me time to clean up and get their goody bags ready.

I don`t like to give out goody bags filled with candy and useless little token toys so I buy toys, dolls, or games that are on clearance at Wal Mart. For $5.00 I can put together a fantastic goody bag!!!! Each bag contained one bag of Eggies, a fruit roll up, their crafts, a helium filled balloon and a Hannah Montana board game.

Three girls were picked up that evening, two were staying for a sleep over. I let them continue dancing and playing while I tidied up then it was time to get ready for bed. I carried up our smaller TV and DVD player with a handful of DVDs I could find in the boxes located in the garage waiting to be unpacked. I got them settled in my daughter`s bedroom watching Daddy Daycare and then I went to bed.

I would have slept like a rock except my husband kept waking me up to tell me the girls were still awake and I needed to check on them. You should know my sweet husband was downstairs watching a movie with my son while I was conked out upstairs. I think it was just before midnight when the girls finally fell asleep and they didn`t wake up until morning..... which was my son`s birthday and I had to start the whole process all over again!!!!!

Working Mom's - What do YOU do for Childcare?

2010-04-08T09:25:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been interviewing for different positions and the main issue I have is childcare. In the past when I worked, outside of the home, my husband worked from home and took care of the kids. I could work long hours and travel for extended periods of time because I knew my kids were in good hands. I am not so lucky this time round, my husband works 10 hour days 4 days a week outside the home. So I have to figure out what to do with the kids.

As you know I just moved into a new area and know very few people. There isn't a daycare in our neighbourhood and I don't want care outside the neighbourhood. After school for me isn't an issue, 1 day my husband is home, 2 days my mother in law can come by and 2 days I'll hire a teenager for a few hours. It's the mornings that are the issue. My kids are not morning kids and I can't rely on them to get themselves to school.

My dad thinks I should look for something that is part time, not so career oriented, just a job. I guess I could for the next few years and then look for something more career oriented in a few years. That way I spend more time at home with my kids and can get more done around the house. I wonder how much Indigo pays?

Some businesses in the world need to realize that childcare is so important to ensuring success because when you don't have to worry about your kids you can focus on your work. When you focus on your work you can produce better results and increase profitability. Those company's that understand this are hard to get into because they have such loyal long term employees.

What I'll need in terms of childcare will depend on where I land a position and the hours I have to be away from home. I know that there is something out there for a hard working focused individual such as myself that will offer the flexibility I need for my family. Patience and staying on course is the key......

Everything is Finally Working Out

2010-04-06T10:43:00.000-07:00

Ever find yourself in a situation where nothing is working out. Every time you try to do something an obstacle pops up, things fall apart, or nothing comes together? That was 2009 for my family. We couldn't catch a break and I was just trying to keep things from falling apart all together. The problem with these times in our lives is sometimes we can't see the bigger picture and when we finally emerge from the chaos we find hindsight to be 20/20.

I am looking out my office window while I type this, across the street is the house we had purchased last summer but the deal fell through resulting in more uncertainty for our kids. I remember the day we signed the offer, we were settling for a house that would work kind of for our family, not a house we really wanted. At the time we saw the house I'm sitting in now and wished it was for sale within our price range. Funny how life works, 4 months later on the way home from Christmas at my parent's place we purchased that very place.

It wasn't convenient to rent across town for 6 months and it meant a lot of packing of boxes but in the end it was worth the wait. The uncertainty had my husband second guessing the decision to relocate to the Lower Mainland BC. I was unhappy, lonely and bored.

Now, life is good again and although we are exhausted we are happy. We have put in a lot of work, painting, cleaning, tearing down fences, pressure washing, scrubbing mildew off siding, and unpacking. We feel fortunate every time my kids walk to school, their friends stop by, they go biking, or play in the creek out back. The kids are finally happy and that is worth its weight in gold!

Life is Wonderful when I`m Busy!

2010-03-23T05:20:00.000-07:00

The past 4 days has been a blur of paint and phone calls. I start early in the morning to get ready to paint all day and into the evening. It really feels wonderful to be doing something productive again.

I love to work - well anything but housework - and I am happiest when I`m occupied so I`m really happy that we have this huge project with such a short deadline.... 3 days to go `til we start moving in and lots of rooms left to paint.

To top it off my phone is ringing with job interviews. Thankfully they are phone interviews this week so I just take a break from painting. Its really exciting how God is bringing everything together right when it is time to. My time of rest is coming to an end and I look forward to being busy working again.

The downside to working again is that my focus will be off my kids and back onto work. I tend to work long hours, not because I have to but because I want to succeed quickly. I am fortunate though because my kids are wonderful about it and they then value their one on one time with me even more. I feel guilty about not regretting the 6 months I was on the road and away from them. I don`t - I still value that time away traveling focused on work and I think the kids did benefit from it because they got more time with dad.

I`ve been blessed through the years to have opportunities to stay home, whether by self employment, home based employment, or employment insurance benefits. Many people I know think that my kids are sometimes getting the short end of the stick because I`ve merged work with family but I think its made them even more amazing. My son, although lazy, has a healthy desire to work and takes his paper route job very seriously. Now if I could just get him to work as hard for me as he does for them.

I fully believe the time I spent with them working from home when they were young benefited them more then if I had continued working outside the home. It meant long hours taking care of other people`s children but it was worth it. I`ve been a good mom and now its time for a solid new start and I`m looking forward to a career outside the home again.

Quality Does Make a Difference. - Can You Have a Love Affair With Paint?

2010-03-21T23:25:00.000-07:00

What luck! Home Depot was out of the base we needed in the 5 gallon pail of CIL so we bought the Behr 5 gallon pail and what a difference. I was thrilled painting with the CIL paint compared to the no name crap my husband usually comes home with. However, after using Behr the CIL was like painting with water. If one could paint with butter that would be the same as painting with the Behr paint. It`s going to cut our painting time in half.

Painting can be fun - with each stroke I was falling more in love. I know it sounds crazy but really it was an amazing experience. Quality paint where have you been all my life? and how did I ever paint without you? My husband is in trouble now, I`m spoiled I can never go back to economical paint again.

Who Knew Painting Could Be So Relaxing....

2010-03-21T09:26:00.000-07:00

I am enjoying some of the painting process at least. The edging is my favorite part probably because I'm using a brush instead of the roller. Much more my style. The roller makes such a mess and I always manage to hit something I'm not suppose to with it.

So far the fuscia kiss pink has been the messiest experience ever. It started the minute I opened the can and the lid went flying off. The can was almost over flowing because it needed so much tint to get the colour. When I poured it into a container it went all over the drop cloth. I've got it everywhere. I got some on my son's bedroom carpet - no his walls are not pink. My jeans are covered in pink and I hit the ceiling with the roller, no where close to the wall but almost dead center of the room. The colour is so bright it almost hurts the eyes. It needs another coat but I've been finding other rooms to start painting instead. I need to just suck it up get it done and then I'll never have to paint with that colour again.

I've got 5 days and 7 rooms to paint before move in day.... I don't know that I'll make the deadline since I've only done 3 rooms in 3 days but I'll try. I really wanted the carpet pulled out before we moved in but I'm not sure there will be time. Priority... get it out of the kids room before move in date.

What Colour to Paint the New Place?

2010-03-20T09:04:00.000-07:00

I've been busy the last couple of days painting the kids rooms the colours they chose - now it's time to pick a main colour for the house.

I don't know what I was thinking letting a 7 year old pick her own colour from the wall of paint chips but I did. Painting her room was like being inside a huge pink bubble gum bubble. The theme of her room is Rock n Roll - specifically her favorite - Avril Lavigne. I'm going to try to find a small black crystal chandelier and some large black poster frames. I'm going to paint a rock n roll tattoo image in black on the main wall and a guitar in black on a small side wall. I'll stain the closet doors as black as I can and put really big crystal door handles on them.

My son's room is grey - concrete grey. He wants an urban themed room. I'm going to put up some brick wall paper, find some metal for one wall and some chain link fencing to make frames with. The closet door will be stained black and I'll use old skateboard wheels as handles. The skateboard will be affixed to the back of the door. I found a street light lamp to put in the room and I still need to find a cool urban light fixture.

Any ideas or links to products for these two themes would be appreciated.

Now for the big decision..... which colour to paint the rest of the house. Which colour do you like? This picture and the picture at the top of this post are of the same colours, just in different rooms and different lights. Funny how light works on colour.

Darkest colour is Belgium Sweet
Medium colour is Toffee Crunch
Lightest colour is Bison Beige

The Grey is out... too cold.

Possession of the House Today - Now the WORK Starts

2010-03-17T20:55:00.000-07:00

We just received the keys to our new place. It is going to be a lot of work over the next few years but in the end it will be worth it.

My husband and I couldn't agree on the priority of some things but in the end we've come up with a solid plan. We are going to keep the carpet for the short term, 30 year old carpet. The good news - it's beige and in decent shape so it won't be too bad. We really want hardwood throughout the house but until I'm working price would dictate the choice and I'd rather wait and get the "good" stuff.

We start painting tomorrow. This should be FUN - Not. I'm sure there will be a lot of yelling at each other and miscommunication as there always is. Oh well, hopefully we come through it without too many hurt feelings. The big fight will be when I first use the dishwasher and demand that we replace it now! The one I've picked is only $1200.00 plus tax... What's the big deal?

Is saying I Love You Enough? - Building Kids Self Esteem.

2010-03-16T10:03:00.000-07:00

I am trying something new. My kids are getting older and their self-esteem is going to be a huge factor in their success both in high school and beyond. When we moved here it was obvious that my son’s self esteem wasn’t as secure as I thought it was. He was so unsure of himself, who he was and how he’d fit in. For my daughter the opposite was true, she came out of her shell and developed more confidence in herself.

When my kids were young they found pride in themselves whenever they learned a new skill. I always gave them opportunities to learn how to do things on their own. They were proud of themselves when they learned to put on their own clothes, their own shoes and then tie those shoes (which took my son a little longer than most). They became more skilled as they figured out computer games and toys on their own. Often they would ask me how to show them how to do stuff before they even tried, I’d always say "figure it out." They almost always did. When they couldn’t then I’d step in and show them a step or two. They’ve become very capable in their own abilities.

Now that they are older, especially my son, things are different. At 10 he’s starting to care about his appearance, be interested in girls, worrying about fitting in. He’s questioning himself and if he’s good enough. So I started thinking, how can I help him love himself?

I’ve always told my kids that "I love you" on a regular basis however I think I need to do more. I’m trying to tell them why I love them and what I love about them more often. So instead of just saying "I love you," I’ll say "I love your ability to problem solve," or "I love you because you have the cutest freckles." Not just "I love your freckles" because if they don’t then they’ll just ignore it, but I’m hoping that if they know that I love them because of their cute freckles they’ll learn to value those freckles.

This new approach has made me realise all the things I love about them. I’ve had to really look at who they are and what their strengths are. I’ve had to take time to talk to them, get to know what’s important to them and then let them know that I love them because of it.

My husband doesn't agree with me and thinks "I Love You" encompasses everything so therefore it's enough. Which may be one of the reasons I don't always feel secure in his love for me.

I don’t know if this will help to build their self-esteem but it can’t hurt. I asked my daughter why she loved me the other day and she just said "because." I don’t want them wondering why I love them, I want them to know I love them because of who they are. I don’t ever want them to question my love for them or assume I love them because I have to. I want them to know that I value them for them and not because I’m their mom.

Other Online Resources for building kid's self esteem:

Kids Edge on Self Esteem
Building Your Child's Self Esteem
Child development info Website

A Nightmare - A Dream - A Sign?

2010-03-15T08:23:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamed that we moved into our new place and it was located in my home town, a small town in the middle of nowhere. My husband was thrilled and driving me nuts, I was unhappy, very unhappy. What I was feeling didn't matter to my husband and he got pissed off because I wasn't as happy as him.

I miss Calgary, my friends, my house, my job, my life there. Vancouver isn't so bad, it just rains a lot. I love that the flowers are out and there are so many different plants here. I know that once we are in the house, once I've made friends, and once I have a job things will be better here.

I know it was just a dream, but I should be excited about the new place and all the changes we are going to make. I feel drained and tired. 2 days to go 'til possession day and I just don't care.

3 Days Until We Take Possession of the New House - Why Aren't I Excited.

2010-03-14T19:34:00.000-07:00

The relocation to the Lower Mainland BC has been a long haul for our family but its finally coming to an end, we take possession of our new house in 3 days. Since its been months of unsettled living arrangements I should be thrilled but I don't feel excited or anything for that matter.

I've been packing because I know I have to pack, not because I want to. I've picked paint colours and looked at flooring samples but I feel detached from the whole process. I drive by the house everyday - twice - when I drop off and pick the kids up from school, the house is right there in front of me but it doesn't feel like mine.

I've packed up the house for the 3rd time in less than a year for the last time for a long time. I've gotten so used to living with boxes of stuff it feels normal to not know which box marked kitchen a bowl is in.

I have to wonder, if I can't get excited about moving into our new house, will I ever be excited about anything?

Can I please just be sick? A Mother must Push On

2010-03-09T13:40:00.000-08:00

The kids are home on spring break and I've got a wicked head cold. A head cold is the worst kind of cold because although I feel like crap I don't look sick enough for my husband to get off my case. To top it off he's home with the same head cold and is freaking out on me because I sat down to rest. I've been cleaning the house and getting the kids (and him) lunch and I just sit down to check my email, have a hot tea and he starts yelling at me to finish cleaning the house.

I can't blame him in some ways because I don't get the house completely cleaned and organized. I clean a room or two and then go off and do something else, usually something on the computer. Its never ever 100% done, even the rooms I do get finished are usually destroyed within hours.

The kids are scared to play with anything when he's around because he freaks if they don't clean it up afterwards. Yes they need to learn to clean up after themselves and if they can't maybe they shouldn't be able to play with the truckload of toys in the playroom. I certainly get sick of picking up after them.

My break time is about up - I had 1/2 hour to check email (and vent here) before I get harassed again for not getting everything done. The good news is that my head is so clogged up I can't think straight so I don't get distracted from doing thoughtless chores.

The Imperfect Wife

2010-03-08T16:42:00.001-08:00

I am not the best wife, it's not that I don't love my husband - I do, its just that I can't seem to make him happy. He's a perfectionist and he demands that the house be clean, organized, and everything done. I'm not working and my kids are in school so I have the time to devote to housework. So why don't I?

If I was a great little wifey I'd want to make him happy, I'd be motivated to get the house work done, but I can't. I find it boring and draining. I am easily distracted by my thoughts and anything else that may catch my attention for a moment, no matter how fleeting.

It's not uncommon to find a load of wet laundry in the washer that's been there for a couple of days. A full can of garbage pushed down so much the bag is hard to pull out. Dishes piled on the counter, waiting for the dishwasher to hurry up and clean the dishes from last nights dinner, are always glaring at anyone who walks into the kitchen.

I try to get the house tidied up before my husband gets home and I think everything looks good but he always finds something. He says he isn't looking for it but it just jumps out and screams at him biting me in the ass. He freaks out, looses it after days and days of walking into the same situation day in and day out.

I should care more, I should be striving to be a Sally homemaker extraordinaire but I'm just not wired that way. I spend my day reading books that make me think, listening to pod casts that cause me to wonder, and updates from the news caster that make me wonder if its worth it. Sometimes I get creative and make cards or scrapbook my children's childhood. I spend time getting caught up watching missed episodes of my favorite shows online. I go to yoga, I window shop, I go to the library to learn about great resumes and cover letters. Anything to fill the minutes between now and getting back to work.

Why You Shouldn't Watch Soap Operas With Your Kids in the Room.

2010-03-01T11:58:00.000-08:00

My son is home sick today and since we don't have many TV channels to choose from and I caught him watching an episode of the Young and the Restless. I don't think he's about to get hooked on soap operas but it got me thinking about how damaging a message they play out for young minds.

I had a 5 year old girl in my dayhome who was "boy" crazy, she was determined to marry herself off sooner rather than later. She was very aggressive and at the horror of more than one boy she was obsessed with kissing. Her mother was a fan of soap operas and during her time home with the kids she watched soap operas with her daughter every afternoon.

Soap Operas are unhealthy for kids because they don't teach wholesome family values. Their characters get married and divorced so much that they should provide a cheat sheet of how all characters are linked to each other. Marriage getting difficult? That's OK have an affair, get divorced and marry someone else.

There are enough unhealthy messages for little girls in the media without subjecting them to soap operas.

Philanthropists are Amazing People.

2010-02-24T07:51:00.000-08:00

Only a few people in the world have enough money to be philanthropists and only a very small percentage of those live a life of philanthropy. I admire those that are so grateful for the blessings God has bestowed on them they rise up and make the world a better place. Many rich people give to charity for the tax credits and boost to their image, but these people are not who I am talking about. Don't get me wrong the money these people give is valuable to the world but I'm talking about the rich who walk the walk everyday.

Bono is an example of a celebrity who utilizes his blessings to help those in desperate need. His voice for change has become part of his personal brand, his image, what he is known for. It is his actions that inspire others to change, to rethink what they give and up the anti.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pit live a life of philanthropy by where they go, what they give, and the organizations they set up. Their everyday lives are incorporating giving and making a difference. They do more then just open their cheque book at a benefit dinner, they show up, they speak out and they give.

There are people out there who gave up the benefits of western living and have gone out to work daily at making a better life for others. These people should be our celebrities. These people should be our role models. These people should grace the covers of magazines and top news stories.

The Internet has provided the public with access to the good works other people do. It has enabled those of us stuck in the traps of the western lifestyle to feel good by giving a few dollars to help them. What it should be doing is celebrating them, raising them up and inspiring us to do more, be more, and strive to be better.

Some sites to check out:

TV Show : The philanthropist is a TV show about a rich playboy who becomes a philanthropist - he goes out into the world and helps to raise people up out of poverty. He runs into obstacles and corruption but that doesn't stop him, it only inspires him to do more.

(Click to watch episodes)

The Guy Behind the Story : The TV show is based on a real person.... OK so not exactly, but Bobby Sager and his family are out there living the philanthropic lifestyle and helping others help themselves.

Hand up not Hand Out

Gates Foundation

Aviva

Getting Involved - Teaching Our Children How to Be Better Global Citizens

2010-02-17T09:39:00.000-08:00

The Free the Children organization has developed a way for families, schools, and individuals to get involved in changing the world for the better. Their programs are designed to help kids become global citizens and look beyond themselves to those children in need elsewhere.

Their 10 by 10 project asks people to list 10 ways they are going to change the world. Just by listing your 10 ideas you will start to take steps at being a global citizen. In return a $10.00 donation will be made by Aviva to help 10 children.

Their family programs provide ideas and support for families to work together to do something to help others in adopted villages. The kids and I will be discussing what we want to do to change the world.

The school programs are the most extensive programs they have. They offer resources for the classroom, speakers for assemblies, and mentors for the children.

I know that my kids teachers have already planned out their curriculum but I want to ask them to look into this program for the kids. Even if its an extra curricular activity for those students that are interested. I am hoping that my son will take up the cause and help to make it a reality in their school. It is a leadership opportunity for him that will teach him more then any book can.

The school is amazing at teaching the kids about being stewards and taking action for others. So far this year they have partnered with Artist's Response Team to teach stewardship for the environment; with Right to Play to teach stewardship for children in the 3rd world who don't have sports equipment; with a local women's shelter at Christmas to teach giving; and with an organization that is helping Haiti to teach them about responding to an emergency. All these programs effect the children and help them become better caring citizens.

Charity and giving make a lasting impression in children, especially when their parents are a part of it. A few weeks ago my daughter (7 yrs) and I had a special mom and daughter day in Vancouver. It was filled with amazing moments and fabulous memories but the one that my daughter kept talking about was when she gave. After lunch we left the restaurant with a full doggy bag of a meal not touched. We passed a homeless man and I stopped and asked if she would give the man our doggy bag. She lit up and as she offered it to him so did he. Everyone standing around waiting for a bus had huge smiles for her - I asked her how she felt and she was "happy." The feeling of giving, of doing something for someone else is something every child should experience.

Practical Ideas for You to Help the Homeless

Why I'm a Terrible Housewife

2010-02-17T04:55:00.000-08:00

I can't focus. I have a lot to do but everytime I clean, do laundry, or whatever my mind wonders and I start thinking about other things. Once I start thinking about other things I stop what I'm doing and do something else. I forget to go back to the original task or I miss a lot. I won't see the dirt or I'll clean the fridge but forget about cleaning the door of the fridge. I'll wash socks but forget to put them into the dryer.

Menial household tasks do not engage my mind enough for me to stay focused or on task. Multi tasking has become an excuse for not completing everything I start.

Tasks that engage my mind keep me focused and engaged until I'm finished but there are few household duties that do. When I don't use my mind regularly I get lazy and can't seem to get it together. When this happens I don't know where to start or what to do, I put off things over and over because they bore me.

The times I am productive are the days I start out creating a list of tasks that need to get done and then stay focused on doing them. I fill my day with things to do and goals to meet. However after days of being home alone doing boring thoughtless tasks I loose my focus, my lists, and my goals. I need to feel productive and that what I am doing has a purpose, somehow I haven't found that in cleaning toilets over and over again.

I want to be able to have a showhome type attitude to my daily cleaning and tidying up but I get to a certain point and can't get any further. "That's good enough" has become a mantra that I don't like to have. When I'm at work outside the house I always go above and beyond with little or no effort but at home it takes lots of effort just to get to good enough.

If my brain would stop while I worked and I could stay on task while tidying up the kids rooms for the umpteenth time I could do it. I wouldn't miss the big blob of dried on jam on the bottom shelf of the fridge. I'd be able to get at all the dust in every corner of every room without a problem. If my brain would just stop thinking for an hour I'd get so much more done.

Things Are Finally Coming Together

2010-02-11T15:11:00.000-08:00

Not sure how it happened but everything is finally coming together. Knock on Wood. Life has been so up in the air that I couldn't plan one day to the next - now each month has a focus and by the end of it everything should be set.

February - I have registered for a challenge at hot yoga and am focusing on improving my health.

March - We are moving into our new home so I'll be focused on moving and setting up the house.

April - I am enrolled in a program to help me focus on finding the best job for me. So by May I can focus on finding a job.

It took almost a year but I can now see the end of the upheavel this relocation has caused in my life. I am so looking forward to feeling settled and in a regular routine, which is odd for me because I hate routine.

Grandparents .... How Involved Are Your Parents?

2010-02-08T09:36:00.000-08:00

Last night my parents had their oldest friends over and their family, the difference between the two sets of grandparents in the room was blatantly obvious. My parents live in another part of the province from us and their friends live minutes from their grandchildren. Guess which set is more involved in their grand kids lives?

My parents want us to move closer to them, that's all I've heard for the last 10 years. However, if we lived closer then they wouldn't have a life outside their grand kids and like their other friends they would talk incessantly about every little detail of their grand kids lives.

Not sure which I would prefer, my parents to be so involved their lives revolve around the kids or the way things are, where they flit in and out every other month for a few days.

9 years ago a friend of mine had their first child and she was upset because the grandparents were too involved. They had converted a bedroom into a nursery and planned on babysitting all the time. I lived 8 hours from my parents and going to visit was a huge undertaking because their was no nursery, I couldn't even leave a play pen or high chair behind for the next trip. I had to take everything with me every time I went to visit - which was about every 4-6 weeks. I remember being envious of her.

Last night the daughter was telling me that her parents are too involved. I couldn't help wondering if that was possible. My parents are down for 2 days on their way to the states for a 2 month vacation, I offered to keep the kids out of school so they could have more time with them but they had coffee plans with my aunt. The Olympic Torch is going through town today and tomorrow morning really early... they could come with the kids to watch the kids enjoy it.... but 'no' they saw the torch when it went through their town and they didn't want to stand in a crowd to see it again. So we have to go really early in the morning because they want to see the kids after school today.

I know my friends have it easier because they have built in babysitters and we rarely if ever go out without the kids. However I don't think I'd want my parents to be a second set of parents to my kids. To see them almost everyday, to be obligated to go to dinner every week. I love my parents - but I've always been the independent type - the go my own way - "do it my way" type. My daughter's first sentence was "do it self" - that's our motto! Sometimes I wish they lived just down the street, but I'm selfish and I want my kids for myself not over at grandma's all the time.

My parents see my kids on their terms, on their timetable. They have a separate life outside of their grand kids and enjoy it immensely. They earned the right to be just grandparents and not a second set of parents for my kids. My grandparents weren't overly involved in my life. I prefer it this way. I don't think I'd like my parents to be a daily fixture in the kids lives, I get enough "advice" from them already. The time they do have with them is special, if fleeting and the kids look forward to their visits. I definitely prefer it the way it is, sorry mom we won't be moving closer anytime soon. Good thing my brother moved closer.... now he just has to have some kids.

Video Games, Video Games, Video Games

2010-02-03T17:34:00.000-08:00

I might as well throw away all their toys since all they want to do is play video games. The only time they argue is when they are playing a video game and my son is kickin' my daughter's butt. I'm torn regarding the kids playing video games.

They are time consuming and keep the kids too inactive physically but mentally active. They play games that engage them in problem solving situations. They are always trying to figure out the next step or the next puzzle. They play games together learning about team work and working together towards a common goal.

Video games consume time and before they know it hours have passed and they haven't done anything. Then again what are they suppose to be doing - playing and having fun. They can't run around the house and get physical exercise when its raining outside, which during the winter months in Vancouver is everyday.

My son plays video games with his friend in Calgary over the phone and internet. They work together and help each other get to the next level. They are communicating and using social skills and since they are 12 hours away from each other it's the only way they can play together.

Getting them to turn off the games and do someting else turns into a fight and tears. Then choas and noise for the house and they bug me for stuff. I hoave a love hate relationship with video games, on one hand I see how they benefit the kid's development and on the other I know that too many video games is not a good thing to do all the time.

Hot Yoga Challenge Starts Today

2010-02-02T17:21:00.000-08:00

I signed up for a challenge at the yoga studio - 5 classes a week for a month - can't miss one. Why? The prize is 2 months free membership.... not a bad deal. The only hitch, the most I've done is 4 in a week and was so wiped I couldn't do more then 3 easier classes the next.

Since the pounds aren't coming off I have to focus on the other benefits as the goal. Focus on the increase in flexibility, strength, and energy. If I don't ignore the scale I'd quit. It's been almost 3 months of hot yoga and I weigh the same ... most sane people would have tried something else by now.

Hot Yoga must be the latest in pick up joints. I'm surrounded by both male and female 20 somethings strutting their stuff, especially in the evening classes. I am the token fat lady that most take pity on and keep encouraging me to keep going. This in itself is enough to make me want to head home after hitting the grocery store for junk food and sweet desserts from the bakery section. But I don't, I keep at it and try to ignore the young girls all around me with their toned bodies.

I am getting stronger, I managed to briefly hold a plank pose a number of times and get my hips up for a side plank.... This is new for me and quite the feat. If the doctor thinks I'm not lifting weights doing this he should try to hold up my weight in a pose or two. So although the scale remains the same and my pants aren't looser in the waist I keep going. I've measured the different areas of my body so that I can compare inches lost in lieu of pounds, since the pounds want to hang on. So hopefully the inches will start to decrease.

I know the doctor said that yoga wasn't going to help me loose weight and that I needed to join a gym instead but I already sign up for the challenge. Am I going to be able to handle adding cardio and strength training to the hot yoga challenge?

I'm still amazed at how much the heat takes out of me. How much the heat drains my energy and leaves me wiped.

Doctor's Orders

2010-02-02T14:55:00.000-08:00

I just got back from a day at the doctor's office. I was waiting to get my blood test results, which came back negative - no diabetes or thyroid issues for this girl. After 3 hours in the waiting room I finally got to see the doc for my clean bill of health. So why can't I loose weight?

Hot Yoga isn't the right exercise for loosing weight according to the doc. He perscribed cardio, weights, a personal trainer and a friend to exercise with. Money and friends.... two things I'm a little short on at the moment.

My UI cheques are just covering the kids activities, school and grocery bills. Being new to the area, I haven't met too many people yet and those that I have I don't feel close enough to ask them to join a gym with me. Not many stay at home mom's have cash kicking around for extras like gym memberships - or the time to go for that matter.

I think there must be more to it though. Everytime I start loosing or start getting on track my husband or mother will say something to push me on or encourage me to step it up more and I stop dead in my tracks. I'll eat good for a few days then its nothing but junk food for a day then back to eating well for a couple days.

What I can't understand is why do I want to be fat? What is it about a size 18 body that has me so comfortable I keep choosing to keep it? Why am I scared of the image I have of myself thin and confident? Why does the idea of being thin and going back to work wear me down to fatigue? If I figure out that then maybe just maybe I can back into a size 10.

Need a Second Job to Pay for the Kid's Activities

2010-01-31T10:15:00.000-08:00

I just got back from writing cheques for my son's acting classes this spring.... OK I need a Job. Between Acting School, Dance Classes and Gymnastics I'm broke again. Is it OK to tell your kids in lieu of birthday gifts they can still go to their activities?

It's not like they play hockey - that is an expensive sport. However, I'm learning that competitive anything is costly. How do families do it and still manage to get ahead?

My Son Wants an Agent

2010-01-25T12:07:00.000-08:00

The upside to moving to the Vancouver area is the large film industry here. My son has been asking me to take acting classes and get an acting agent for years now and I've finally relented. Hopefully he can make enough money to afford college since the expense of living here is eating up all our money.

He's been going to Kid's Only Acting School in Whiterock and he really enjoys it. What I like about the school is they are NOT pushy and seem to be very well respected. The teachers there have experience, years of it, and are really helpful.

I was reluctant to let him get serious about working as an actor at a young age. I just wasn't comfortable with it. I thought making your kid work was a terrible idea. It's still not a great idea if your kid doesn't want to work or if they work so much they don't have a childhood or neglect school. I'm hoping he'll learn about the industry and make some good connections so if he is still serious about it when he's older then he has a decent resume to start with. If he does it now and finds out he hates it, that's OK too - then he can look to a different activity or career.

He doesn't have an agent - I've only just started to research it - but he's enjoying the classes and gaining confidence. He's learning about commitment and being a professional, so even if he doesn't go into the acting biz he'll walk away with some new skills and lots of confidence. Public speaking isn't easy, after all more people are scared of it then death, however he's becoming a natural. So it's been worth every cent!

Why My Kids Are BFFs

2010-01-24T12:57:00.000-08:00

Everyone that meets my kids are amazed at how close they are to each other - They really are each others best friend. I am really fortunate that they are because it has made life a lot easier, they play so well together and rarely fight. How did they get to be best friends?

Partly Luck:

My son is the oldest by 3 years less 8 days and his personality has lent a lot to this relationship. He is very easy going, doesn't need a lot of attention, and is very responsible. When his sister was born he just stepped aside, grew up and started caring for her.

My daughter is a handful but he keeps her in check and well behaved because she wants to be like him. She loves everything he loves and wants to do everything he does. The best part is he wants her to, he encourages her to, and it doesn't bother him to have her tagging along. That is to say for the most part.... He needs his personal time and time with just his friends every once in a while and it's hard for her to give it to him. When he needs his space or she is being too pushy then I step in and ensure he has what he needs.

Partly work:

Before our daughter was born I talked to my son about what the role of a big brother was. I asked him to be responsible for her, to help her, teach her and take care of her. He takes his job as a big brother very seriously.

When it became apparent that my daughter was getting the best part of the deal and taking full advantage I realized she was old enough to become responsible for her big brother. I asked her to be responsible for him, to help him, teach him and take care of him. She takes her job as a little sister very seriously.

They are responsible for each others happiness - sounds like too much? Well, its not. It's teaching them to think about someone other then themselves in a relationship. When the other one is hurt or sad the other steps up to get them to laugh or be happy. Both find it very rewarding since life is happier when your friend is happy too.

Every night right from when they were small I made it part of their bedtime routine to say "I love you" to each other. It's much easier loving someone and wanting to be friends with them when you know they love you too. It isn't good enough to assume children just know if their sibling loves them, they need to know it. By saying it they will come to love each other.

Anytime they started to fight they'd be separated and if they couldn't be they'd be made to say "I love you" and give hugs and kisses. Ever stay mad at someone who says I love you and gives you a hug? Hugs and loves puts an end to a fight faster then any time out - and with better results.

When there is a disagreement I don't solve it for them, I've helped them figure out how to resolve it themselves. They've come up with contracts to solve conflicts and role definition to create something out of nothing. ie One's the mayor the other the assistant.

It's not always roses in our house, but it is far from a war zone. They do get on each others nerves and they do need their space. My daughter is very bossy and my son's tolerance for it though high does have a limit. However, through love, communication, and responsibility for the other they work it out relatively quickly and are the best of friends again.

Yin Yoga and My Aching Back

2010-01-16T08:57:00.000-08:00

I like Yin Yoga it's relaxing and meditative however sometimes the next day my back is in major pain. I don't have huge back problems but this morning I woke up in so much pain I could barely breath. This happens to me every once in awhile the day after a Yin class. I'm not sure why since Yin is suppose to be healing.

I've taken 2 Robaxacet and am using my husband's massage chair to try and reduce the pain. As usual I have a lot of house work to do and can't lie around on my back all day. I'm going to a hot yoga class later this afternoon so hopefully between the heat and the stretching I'll sweat out the muscle pain.

Yin has helped me meditate and center myself in the present with an eye on the future. I use the meditation time to experience the stretch and visualize myself working out, eating well, and fitting into my blue suit. So far it has created in me a desire to exercise that I've never had before and I'm not as hungry.

Well the chair's taken a break and I should stretch it out.....

January is a Drain on My Bank Account

2010-01-12T14:51:00.001-08:00

Will it ever end? Payments for dance, acting classes, and hot lunches - every time I turn around I need to write a cheque for something. Christmas tapped my account into the red and with all these extra expenses I don't know if my account will ever see black.

September is expensive because of back to school and new activities. During September the kids come home almost everyday with a new request for funds or things to buy.

December is a complete financial loss with Christmas and all the holiday trimings.

January has more activities to pay for.

April is my most expensive month because both kids birthdays land in this month.

June brings my husband's birthday and father's day.

July and August are expensive due to holidays, activities, daycare, and wardrobe change.

There is nothing like kids to drain the finances.... well except maybe a house. I am trying to get a surplus of funds to pay for renovations on the new used house we purchased but at this rate we'll be living with plywood floors for a long time.

My kids haven't even hit competitive programs yet. Once that happens their activities will cost more than groceries each month and groceries aren't cheap.

I'm not about to deprive my kids of activities or school perks so I just have to suck it up and find other places to save.... like groceries.

Changing the World One Day at a Time

2010-01-12T09:39:00.000-08:00

I came across an interesting blog today called How I Changed the World Today. Everyday Julia does something to make a difference to a stranger in the world. Her giving is beyond anything I've ever seen or heard of. It may not be the millions that celebrities or the rich give but her giving is more valuable.

It got me thinking, what if everyone set out to do something to change the world? Even just the little things like a smile or general courtesy. What if we did something everyday to make the world a better place. There is so much that we could do, so much that we probably already do.

Here are some ideas:

1. Use manners and courtesy with everyone you meet
2. Write a note of encouragement or give a gift to someone who is struggling
3. Give to a charity, not just money but your time and talents
4. Pick up litter and garbage
5. Recycle
6. Get involved in a cause, whether political or not
7. Think of others before yourself
8. Buying Free Trade items
9. Be joyful and positive

What are some of your ideas or things you do to make the world a better place?

Soup - Easy Family Meal Made with Leftovers

2010-01-10T14:12:00.000-08:00

My mom always makes great homemade soup out of leftovers. I have discovered just how easy it is to feed the family and use up food that would otherwise go bad. If you plan your meals right, or at least freeze the leftovers properly, you'll have the ingredients to make perfect soup on the weekend.

During the week make a chicken or turkey. Save the bones - freeze them and any left over meat.

The rest of the week make at least one pork roast and keep the leftover meat.

On Saturday get the bones out of the freezer or fridge. Boil the bones with 1 cut up onion, some celery, and poultry seasoning. Cover and let simmer for a most of the day. In the evening pour the stock through a strainer and cool in the fridge overnight.

On Sunday remove the layer of fat and put the gelatinous liquid back on the stove. Add the frozen meat, any vegetables that haven't been eaten this week (or are going limp), an onion, a can of tomato soup, some salt to taste, and let simmer until lunchtime.

Any leftover soup can be poured into cleaned jars while hot and put into the fridge. The jars will seal.

The jars of soup can be easily packed for daily lunches.

I know it may sound very time consuming but its not. The time the soup is on the stove on low heat simmering you can be doing other things around the house. Its perfect way to clear out the vegetable drawer in your fridge ready for the next week of fresh produce.

Christmas Left Me in the RED!!! Broke, No cash left.

2010-01-08T08:43:00.000-08:00

Even with cutting back I spent everything I had on gifts for Christmas, I even gave my husband his late so I could wait for the next cheque to come in. My husband and I talked about money and my spending habits last night because I can't afford to buy groceries. I am terrible at keeping track of what's in my bank account and what's suppose to be coming out of it. I thought I had $100.00 left after I paid for everything but I forgot about my kids activities and specifically a dance costume fee that would be debited January 1st.

I've tried keeping track and it lasts for all of 2 days and I'm back to spending money without a record. It's not like I have a lot of cash, after all I'm unemployed, so I need to be more careful.

Thing is I know what to do and I know how to budget and tricks to keep on track but I just don't do it.... I'm too lazy to organize myself every payday. The best way I've found so far not to spend money is to stay home - of course it works for me because I cut up all my credit cards.

I don't get why I'm so irresponsible when it comes to money. Both my parents were very thrifty and responsible when it came to money, that's why they are so financially solid now. My brother is a good saver and very responsible with money and credit. I am not....

Thankfully my husband is extremely responsible and anal when it comes to money and that is what keeps us afloat and in the Black as a family. He has ensured that are solvent and never are strapped for our mortgage payments etc. When I think of all the money I've wasted it's no wonder he is always mad at me.

When I look back to 10 years ago when my son was born it was different, I was very responsible with my money. I only bought what I needed, I only bought him stuff on his birthday and Christmas. I had money in the bank and an RRSP savings account. Then 3 years later I stayed home and started scrapbooking and going to WalMart or the mall more often. I started buying him toys and stuff every time we went out and then it just became habit. Now my house if filled with books, scrapbooking supplies and toys they never use and my bank account is empty.

Basically my income went way down - I mean way down and my expenses went way up. I didn't manage my money or my time very well. Well that has got to change - there is nothing that anyone in this family needs and there is one thing I want but I'll save for it. Time to get responsible, time to be an adult.

Time Our Most Precious Commodity

2010-01-07T12:23:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot about time lately, how fast it passes, how much of it I waste, how I never have enough. This year I want to start making better use of my time and being more productive. Since being home I feel like I'm always so far behind I can see my big butt and I don't get anything done, ever!

Some blogs I follow I have to wonder why these women seem to have so much more time then me and are so much more productive? For example, the writer of the Country Heart and Home blog has 4 boys, is pregnant, always is baking amazing treats and creating amazing craft projects, both on a daily basis. I am stumped at how she does it all.

Time Management tricks that have worked for me in the past:

1) Every morning making a to do list
2) Planning out my week
3) Planning out meals - quick and easy ones
4) List of goals to accomplish in view
5) Post it notes in specific places
6) Focus on task at hand
7) Break down tasks into smaller ones
8) Block time into similar activities - a day to run errands not everyday
9) Get off the computer
10) Get my nose out of a book - or listen to a book instead on my MP3 player
11) Turn off the TV - we finally cancelled cable, great time saver for everyone

There's a start to the list at least. I will continue to add to it as I figure out ways to better manage my time and be more productive around the house. The biggest issue I have with being productive at home is being interrupted, I can never get anything done because I'm always being interrupted to do something else and by the time I get back to the first task I have to start all over again.

What are some of your time saving ideas?

Life What is it Suppose to Be?

2010-01-05T14:22:00.000-08:00

This wasn't suppose to be my life, this wasn't the plan. I never wanted to be a stay at home mom and yet, here I am at home raising my kids and caring for my family. I have no career to speak of and my identity is wrapped up in my family. It wasn't suppose to be this way, I was suppose to do something with my life, to be more than this. Yet here I am waiting.

Ever feel like life hasn't worked out for you? Like you are on the wrong path or in a rut? So many of us are not living up to our potential or not doing what we had hoped we would be. When I hear about old high school friends who are out jet setting and seeing the world, I cringe inside. I see career women dropping their kids off at activities and they look like they have their whole life so put together and I am envious.

Where do you wish life had taken you? What would you have done differently? There is so much I would have done different if I had only had the guts to do it. I would have travelled more, chosen a better career, and I would have waited longer to have my kids.

Do you sometimes wonder where all the time went? I see young mom's out shopping and think - hey that's suppose to be me. I have babies, don't I? I turn around and see my babies are growing up and I am left alone at home waiting for school to be over. My life wasn't suppose to be like this.

I have done a lot these past 10 years and I have worked, stayed home, worked from home, and now I am about to start off on another adventure in the workforce. Starting at the bottom again, at entry level in my mid 30s. I should be more by now but I'm not. I am who I am and that is going to have to be enough for now. Maybe by my mid 40s I will have everything I ever wanted out of life, and then again maybe not. I'm tired of the road I'm on though, time to make a change and take a different route, do I turn left or right?

Are you ready to make a difference in your life? Oprah always has some challenge going on to help you do just that. The latest - a 21 day challenge to detoxify the soul.

Stampin Up Handmade Cards with Pictures

2010-01-05T12:23:00.000-08:00

I was working on a challenge to use Stampin Up Christmas stamps in a non-Christmas way. Vote for your favorite in the comments.

A. Dasher Stamp - Thinking Of You

For this card I used the Stampin Up Dasher stamp and the Autumn set. The paper was chocolate chip, close to caramel and some yellow and printed paper from my generic stock. For the leaves I used Stampin Up always avocado and old olive inks. Dasher was stamped in chocolate chip ink.

B. Dasher - Thinking of You 2

You can't tell because I scanned this picture but the circles are cut out of the top of the card and Dasher is stamped with Versa Mark on the inside then embossed with Stampin Up gold embossing powder. The leaf is from the autumn set and the thinking of you is from the greeting for all seasons set (both discontinued).

C. Congratulations on the New Baby

The mom and baby were stamped on glossy paper and then I used a Stampin Up blender pen to color it in. I used gold ink to mess up the edges of the chocolate chip cardstock. I stamped a flower on white and cut it out. The Congratulations stamp is from the a greeting for all seasons set, the mom and baby is from the Miracle of Christmas set and the soother is from the little layers set, I forget the name of the set the flower is from.(all discontinued)

D. New Baby Card

For this card I used painter's masking tape - the green stuff. I cut it into thin pieces and made a grid on the card. I then stamped the background using stamps from a greeting for all seasons set and fresh flowers set. I then stamped the paper with versa mark and spread clear embossing powder on the whole sheet and heated it. When it cooled I removed the masking tape and voila the background was complete. I then used the baby from the Miracle of Christmas set. (all sets are discontinued)

E. Spring Embellishment for a Scrapbook Page

This is not my favorite but I thought I'd throw it in here too.

Vote for your favorite in the comments section.

Scrapbook Embellishments - Tag ideas and Pictures

2009-12-30T09:44:00.000-08:00

Tags always make a perfect addition to scrapbook pages. They are easy to make and keep on hand for future pages and use up some of those extra supplies we haven't found a home for yet. I usually sit and make a variety of tags to file away. The trick to tags is to layer, start with the first layer and keep adding layers until you like the end result. Most of the supplies used here will be discontinued, but don't let that stop you from using what you have on hand. Simply sketch out the layout and fill in with supplies from your collection.

Organize Toys - Where to Put All the Christmas Gifts?

2009-12-29T13:42:00.001-08:00

We got home late last night and now I have a pile of toys and stuff to find homes for. Not an easy task at the best of times but since we are in a temporary smaller home it is even harder. We got rid off all the old toys that were too young for the kids before the move so there isn't much more to pass off to the Salvation Army. Most are still in boxes in the attic waiting for our new home... whenever we finally can get a deal to stick.... presently we are on deal number 5.

I asked the kids to get going on putting toys away but that has gotten no where as they don't know where to start. If I don't know where to start how can I expect them to know where?

They are about to set off on their paper route so while they're gone I'll be rummaging through stuff, seeing what I can do.....

I ended up completely re organizing their small playroom. I put another box of toys into the attic for storage and tightened up the storage solutions in the room. I took out larger toy bins that were half full and made sure all the toys were put away where they were suppose to be.

I brought out different bins of toys - the new toys and their favorites and put the other bins into the closet for easy access. Each drawer was labelled and toys that didn't make the bins or the attic are going to the Salvation Army with the load of clothes that no longer fit. I am surprised at how many toys I did remove from the playroom, everytime I go through their toys I find more to give away. What a waste of money.

I got to become smarter about what toys I buy in the future, the longer they play with them the better the value. By buying toys that add to the favorite bins instead of creating all new bins keeps things organized better and ensures better bang for my buck.

Any and all ideas for organizing toys are welcome in the comments section.

Some Websites you may find useful when organizing your home and the kids toys:

Easy 2 Organize - everything you need to know about organizing your home and life.

The Survival Guide - a great article that gets the whole family involved in the task.

Best House Cleaning Tips - One room at a time is this mother's advice

Parentree - Ideas on Organizing a Playroom

Christmas - Time for Family

2009-12-27T15:12:00.001-08:00

My mom went all out this year and gave us a traditional family Christmas. The last time we all got together at mom's place for Christmas was so long ago I can't remember. We cut back on presents and yet had one of the best Christmas' ever.

My mom loves to cook and with our family growing she never runs out of mouths to feed. One of these years she'll have to compile all her favorite recipes into one book to pass down to my daughter who loves to help her in the kitchen. By the time mom is too old to cook for all the family my daughter will have a family of her own and can take up the torch. Whenever I hosted the family Christmas dinner, mom would take over the kitchen and cook up a storm.

What makes Christmas at mom's extra special is their home. It was built by my great grand father in 1906, so its always like we are having an old fashion Christmas, with some technology thrown in for good measure. My dad renovated it himself and he did a fantastic job of balancing the old with the new.

This year my brother brought his better half with him and our uncle showed up to surprise everyone. There has been no shortage of people to challenge for a game of golf, bowling, or guitar hero on the kids wii. (not a new gift). The wii has brought all generations together to play a game - my grandmother is the wii bowling champion and my kids are the guitar hero champions although my husband keeps trying to kick my son's but.

My kids love my brother and he makes a real cool uncle, his personality, interests, hobbies, and career are all pretty phenom in my kids eyes, actually in most peoples eyes. His better half is just as impressive so the kids are pretty lucky. It's too bad they don't get to see them more often, my brother is makes a really great uncle... hopefully one day soon a great dad too.

My mom is the hub that keeps us all together, without her we'd be scattered and rarely see each other let alone know what each of us was up to. Christmas wouldn't happen if my dad was in charge, he is the quiet rock that we can all count on but my mom is the one who puts in the work, the effort, and makes it all work. Dad knows how lucky he is to have her, we all do.

Christmas - Ready or Not it's Here

2009-12-23T10:35:00.000-08:00

Time passes so fast, Christmas 2009 is already here. Whatever happened to the last 1o years? It seems like yesterday that the world was obsessed with the anti-climatic Y2K farce and my son was just an infant. Ten years sure past away fast.

Today I have to pack up kids, presents, clothes, and snowboards to transport to my parents place 5 hours away for a traditional Christmas celebration. I just don't feel like getting ready to go to Christmas.

I pass my time today in leisure instead of getting the work of cleaning and laundry done. It is no secret that when it comes to housework I'll put any other work in front of it as a more pressing priority. Today it is online research of current economic conditions, not a pressing task, just one of interest.

I have to push myself to do the mundane unchallenging work of the house. The kids are excited with the prospect of Christmas being just around the corner, this excitement swoops by me and does not effect me. I do not understand why. I should be filled with Christmas spirit but being stuck at home has removed all spirit. My car's starter has stopped working and stranded me at home - bored.

Christmas time - how many are filled with excitement, how many are tired from the preparation, how many are stressed from the draining of their bank accounts? Are there mothers so filled with the Christmas spirit their excitement exceeds that of their children? I know women so filled with the spirit that they are happy and vibrating with energy during this time of year. How can I be one of them?

Why Time Outs Don't Work

2009-12-23T00:18:00.000-08:00

Time Outs are the main form of discipline for many families. Parents use time outs to help shape their child's behavior, yet time outs don't work - here's why:

Situation:

Little Johnny hits Little Mary:

Resolution 1:

Mommy grabs little Johnny and puts him on a time out hoping he will learn that hitting results in time outs for him. She then comforts Little Mary.

But does Little Johnny learn that hitting results in time outs for him? While he's sitting on time out is he really thinking about what he did to Little Mary or how unfair it is that he's sitting on time out while Little Mary gets cuddles. Does he feel empathy or concern for Little Mary while he watches mommy take care of her or does he resent her more?

Let's think about it from a Little Johnny viewpoint. We all know children are selfish little creatures who want what they want when they want it.... right! After all that's probably why Johnny hit Mary in the first place. It isn't automatically in them to feel sorry for what they've done because it hurt someone else or to be concerned for someone else. They may be sorry for hitting but mainly because it put them on time out and they didn't want to be there.

By putting Little Johnny on time out mommy has done two things. 1. Saved Little Johnny from getting hit by Little Mary. 2. Made a victim out of Little Mary by not allowing her to stand up for herself.

Resolution 2:

Why did Little Johnny hit Little Mary? Is Johnny a mean spirited little boy that did it just to get Little Mary to cry? Most likely NO - Little Mary probably had something he wanted or did something that upset little Johnny and the only way he knew how to deal with the feeling was to hit her. Little Mary probably has learned what buttons to push to get what she wants and to get rid of Little Johnny for a little while.... Mommy will step in and save me!!!!

By putting Little Johnny on time out the mommy has done two things.... One made Little Johnny resent Little Mary and feel sorry for himself - in his mind he's the victim in all this. Two - Little Mary is being rewarded for being a victim and displaying victim behavior. She's getting cuddles for making Johnny mad and getting hit.

If mommy had talked to Little Johnny and found out why he hit her she may discover that Little Mary did something to upset him. At this point mommy could help Little Johnny figure out a different way of reacting by asking him - "Johnny what should you have done?" or "Hitting isn't the way to get what you want - What could you say or do to get what you want?" "How do you think Mary feels when you want something she's playing with?" "What could you have played with until Mary was finished playing with that toy?" Mommy can take the time to help Little Johnny through the thought process she is hoping he is doing on his own while on time out. It is not good enough to say -"Sit there and think about what you've done." They don't know how to think about it outside of themselves.

If Little Mary has indeed done something to push Little Johnny's buttons then mommy can deal directly with Little Mary to help her learn to get what she wants without being a victim. "Mary did you want Little Johnny to hit you?" "Did you want Little Johnny to get into trouble?" "Why did you say such and such or do that then?" "If you wanted the toy Little Johnny was playing with what else could you do to get it?" "How do you think Little Johnny feels when you .....?"

By taking the extra time to find out the reason behind the action and teaching them to think better conflict resolution techniques a parent can foster a closer relationship between the children. Instead of resenting Mary Little Johnny would learn how to play better with Little Mary. Instead of learning victim behavior Little Mary would learn how to stick up for herself and how to play better with Little Johnny.

What I Love about being a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM)

2009-12-18T11:00:00.001-08:00

Now that I've listed all the things I hate about staying home, I thought I'd balance it out with all the things I love about staying home. For all its frustrations and lack of appreciation staying home and taking care of my kids has been a blessing. Yes, one I'll choose to cut short and go back to work outside the home in the New Year.

What I Love about being a stay at home mom:

1. Focusing on the Kids

All my focus is on my kids and what they need to be happy. I'm not thinking about work or deadlines. I'm not stressed out and exhausted every night. I get to wake my kids up, get them to school, pick them up from school, take them to all their activities, and still have energy for them in the evening.

2. Volunteering at their School

In 6 years I haven't been able to volunteer in my kids class and I missed out on a large chunk of their lives. Now I'm making up for it by being in the school 2-3 mornings a week. I'm getting to know their school friends and be part of their education. My daughter is so proud that I'm there so much. It has really enabled me to be part of their lives on a level I wasn't before.

3. Time for ME

It's a different type of me time, because my focus is on health and getting in shape. When I work I have me time every lunch hour and coffee break, but its tampered with what I got to get done for work, grabbing a quick bite to eat, and some peaceful time shopping, browsing, or going for a walk. I do have more time without the kids when I work. This time round my kids are older and in school so I have more ME time and can focus more on me and getting in shape.

4. Healthy Dinners & Lunches

I have time to bake and make dinners every night. I add healthy ingredients to cookies and make sure that each dinner is balanced well. As much as I hate cooking and enjoy eating out, not having the money to eat out and having the time to cook has been good for the family as a whole.

5. Cleaner House & Laundry Done

I clean and do laundry everyday so it's not such a huge job on the weekends. This gives us more family time. We don't have a lot of cash to go do stuff so we are home more, which results in more housework but its spread out over the whole week. I may not be organized, I may not have the perfect Martha house, but its manageable.

6. Hobbies

I have time for hobbies like card making and scrapbooking. I can spend time preserving memories again and enjoying my time. When I work my hobbies are put in a box in storage because I don't have any time to do them, also my focus is on work so I don't think to do them.

7. Friends

I have time for coffee with friends on a regular basis. I end up with stronger friendships, work friendships are rarely as strong or as good. It enables me to build a support group that I can lean on when I'm back at work.

As I think of more I'll add to both lists..... sometimes a thought will pop into my head while I'm mopping the floor or baking cookies.

What are some of the things you love about being a stay at home mom?

Why I Hate Being a Stay at Home Mom .... (SAHM)

2009-12-18T00:43:00.000-08:00

Being a stay at home mom has its moments, but for the most part it sucks. Since staying home life has been good because I get to focus on the kids, their school, activities and needs. I also have time for me - going to yoga and crafting. So if life is so good, why do I hate being a stay at home mom?

1. Housework

There is always housework, but as a stay at home mom I am expected to do it all by myself and have it all done everyday. I am not a perfect home maker, especially when it comes to house work. I overlook dust and small amounts of clutter. I put off cleaning as long as possible and by the end of the day my kitchen has a pile of dishes.

Every time I clean up the kitchen and get it perfect, its time to make a meal and the kitchen is a disaster once again. I feel like I'm getting nothing accomplished and going nowhere.

2. Laundry

I'm knee deep in it.... whether I work outside the home or not, I'm knee deep in laundry. I'm just not very good at getting it done and put away so I have no sense of pride in doing it.

3. Alone all day

Being new to the city means I'm a little more isolated then when I was a stay at home mom in Calgary. I've met some women here but it will take time to make good friends to meet for coffee on a regular basis.

4. Everyone thinks I have time

I like to volunteer but because I'm not working those that do work think I have all this extra time to help them out. Well, I do and I don't. I get so busy volunteering at the school I get behind at home, and the further behind I get the worse I feel.

5. No money

I have time to shop but no money to spend.

6. Pride and Accomplishment

I know, in my head I know, that being a stay at home mom is an honest hard job. Still I don't feel the same sense of pride or accomplishment that I do when I am working. I don't have the same level of confidence. Working provides me with self worth and validation, staying at home does not.

7. Boredom

I have a lot to do, I stay very very busy but its boring. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, and chauffeuring the kids around is boring boring boring. I'm not challenged or energized by my daily tasks and it wears on me. My kids are interesting to talk to, especially my son, but these conversations have a short time span and then its, "mom, I need.........." Sometimes they can be real demanding little pukes.

8. No TGIF (Thank God it's Friday)

Everyday is the same for the most part, weekends bring more work because the kids and hubby are home. Cooking, Cleaning, and Laundry don't take a holiday, in fact holidays bring more work. There is no weekend to look forward to.

As a stay at home mom I get to focus on my kids and their lives, which as a working mom I don't have the time or energy to do. When I work my focus is on work and doing my best there for 40 plus hours a week. This leaves me drained and strapped for time. When I work I still have to cook, clean, do laundry, and chauffeur the kids - I just have less time to do it in. As a stay at home mom I get to show my kids how important their education is to me and share in their daily lives, more then when I work.

I am grateful for this short period that I've had staying home and helping my kids with the transition of moving from one province to another. However, I am looking forward to going back to work in the near future. I know that being home for my kids is important and valuable for them in the long run, I truly believe that children do benefit from mothers who can focus on them when they are young. However, in my heart I want to work... problem solve ... use my skills ... become something more then this.

Spending Time with the Kids - Remember What's Important in Life

2009-12-17T20:32:00.000-08:00

My husband was fortunate enough to get some time off at work to make it to our daughter's Christmas performance and then go skating with her at her skating lesson Christmas party. My husband isn't the overly happy type, life is always bearing down on him and he sometimes gets so bogged down he forgets to stop and spend time with the kids. Recently he took the time to build snowmen and have a snowball fight with the kids and soon 15 minutes turned into the whole afternoon. It had been a long time since I'd seen him so happy and relaxed, he finally realized that life would always be there, but the kids wouldn't.

We are fortunate to live in Canada, but we don't always feel that way. When you have everything and nothing but time on your hands its so easy to look around for things to complain about. We don't appreciate the little things because the little things are common place for us. We are so focused on what we don't have, we have forgotten to appreciate what we do have. We are so obsessed with what we perceive others have, we forget that they have problems too.

We get so busy trying to maintain our lifestyle, or make our way up the social ladder we forget that what we have is most precious. Ever look at a family or a couple and think, 'wow they sure have it all figured out, life has sure been good to them.' 'Why aren't we like them? Why does life dump on us and shine so bright on others?'

Sometimes I think we should be happy and content with our lot in life. After all, we have it better then 90% of the world. My husband is employable, our kids are amazing, we are healthy, and have money in the bank just waiting to buy a house. What more could we want? Why do we allow things to pull us down into a mental rut? Can we find joy in paying bills? Can we enjoy housework? My husband can get so focused on everything that needs to be done, those things that weigh on his mind, he misses out on so much joy. Specifically, he misses out on spending fun time with the kids. Sometimes they are the only thing that can bring us joy when the tedious parts of life are getting too much.

Can we ever get off the hamster wheel? Everyday he heads out to work doing the same thing he hates to do day in and day out. Everyday I clean the house, do laundry, do stuff for the kids, and my to do list continues to grow. There is always something to do, bills always come in the mail, work is always there, kids always need to be fed. However, life is what we choose it to be, it can be the dreary drudgery of the day to day rut we find ourselves in or it can be joyous, it all depends on what we focus on. Making time with the kids a daily event will help keep us happy and remind us why we work so hard the rest of the time.

Christmas (or end of school year) Present Ideas for Teacher's Gifts

2009-12-15T10:10:00.000-08:00

Always one of the hardest to buy for on my christmas list is teachers. I don't want to get them something corny or a trinket that will only clutter up their house. I want to get them something that will be useful to them but at the same time won't cost an arm and leg.

Buying gifts for people you barely know and yet deserve your thanks, like teachers, too often is done without thought. How many boxes of chocolate or coffee mugs are unwrapped with a grimacing thought of, "great another one to add to the collection.'?

Some ideas for Teacher's Christmas Gifts:

Christmas plate filled with cookies, chocolates, & candies
Christmas tin filled with cookies, chocolates, & candies
Christmas ornament
1 lb of quality coffee beans
Gift Cards to Starbucks or Tim Hortons
A bottle of wine - or maybe something harder to drink
A good book
A gift certificate to the local teacher supply store
A book for the classroom library
A box of Chocolates
A gift certificate to the movies
A Nice Christmas Bouquet of Flowers (not just a pointsetta)
A quality journal
Unique Stationary - trendy pins, magnets, paperclips, funny post its and notepads

Organize a collection for all the families and get:

A spa certificate
A gift certificate to the local teacher supply store
A gift certificate to a good restaurant
A year of "fun lunch" day hot lunches
A gift basket of things for the classroom

If you are creative and have the time:

If you are really ambitious then you could put together a scrapbook album from all the kids in the class.
A box of handmade cards (all seasons, reasons, and events)
A unique clip board or binder

Whatever you give add a letter of gratitude with it. Share a story your child has told you about the teacher or a special thing the teacher has done to create pride and esteem in your child.

What not to buy a teacher:

As I read other blogs on this topic I was reminded about how the usual teacher gifts for teachers can be a real waste of money.

Here's a Blog Posting on what not to buy teachers and why.

If you want to buy a "teacher" themed gift and have time to shop online:

Make a personalized gift at Zazzle.

Do you have any ideas of the best gift to get a teacher at Christmas?

Christmas - Past and Present

2009-12-15T09:12:00.000-08:00

The Christmas season is going by so fast and I still have so much to do. When you're a stay at home mom you can do so much more to make the season special for the kids. I'm in overdrive to get everything done because I started so late this year. I didn't even get advent gifts this year because by the time I realized it was Christmas - it was well into December. It finally snowed this weekend and we finally put up the tree.... weeks later then past years.

The difference between Christmas spirit in Calgary and here in the Lower Mainland is huge. In Calgary almost every house has lights on it by early November, here only a few houses have lights and it's mid December. In Calgary it feels like Christmas in November because of the winter weather, here winter finally came knocking and then rapidly left.

This week I've been knocking myself out baking cookies and fudge for gifts. I've been making Christmas cards and gift boxes for Christmas treats. I finished up the shopping and wrapping last week - only a few gifts left that I want the kids to go shopping for.

They went to see Santa but the pictures didn't turn out, so we'll be off to find another Santa at a mall downtown. In past years I'd take the kids to see Santa at the Chinook Mall in Calgary, I've put out these pictures of them growing with the same Santa, year after year, and am sad that this year there will be a different Santa and a different background.

I miss Christmas in Calgary with my friends and all the lights everywhere. I miss our home and all its nooks and crannies that I'd decorate. I miss my kitchen and its newer appliances for baking. I miss the community we lived in and all the people that made it special.

Christmas Shopping - Just doing my part to help the economy

2009-12-10T15:01:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I just dropped $600.00 today! Add that to the $190.00 for grandparents gifts, the $170.00 from yesterday, ooops I almost forgot the money spent at Chapters - $100.00. All I have left is my brother and my dad - the two hardest to buy for on my list.

This is the cheapest year so far, usually I'm well over a grand for the kids alone. I know my mom cut back big time because the year was slow for business and they are retiring in January. We had no choice but to cut back because I'm not working yet and with rent being $700.00 a month more then our mortgage was a month we are a little shorter on cash then in the past.

The kids really don't need more then we got them, they'll be finished unwrapping in record time, but they still don't need anything else.

I know that Christmas has gotten too commercial and too expensive for families trying to keep up to the Joneses, whoever they are, but I still shop. I know that there are families who need money just to survive, but I still shop. I hate how much stuff we have, since we've moved it twice this year and we have another move yet to come, but I still shop. I know Christmas is suppose to be about love and Jesus not presents, but I still shop.

We run ourselves ragged preparing for the season, baking, decorating, shopping, wrapping, mailing, and for what? Do we really appreciate what we get? Do we really need what we receive? Do we really want what we unwrap? What do we really get anyway? Broke! I feel like a just took 3 large steps backwards financially today, but I'm not about to take any of it back.

I'm off to get started on the Christmas baking and getting my Christmas cards in the mail. Cards that I know will get set aside or thrown out, and yet I still make them. It's Christmas after - 'tis the season of added stress!

Some People's Kids -- I'd Be Pissed at Mine if They Posted Like These

2009-12-06T16:09:00.001-08:00

The kids and I went to check out their great aunt's myspace page to listen to some of her music and were surprised to find some music videos. One of their favorite songs from last night's August performance was "Mad at Myself." We've watched it a few times now.

Mad at Myself

Linda Kidder MySpace Music Videos

After watching the video I thought I'd read some of the comments that people have left. Some teeny bopper's thought it was 'gay.' - OK, I can see that, after all, they have yet to experience the things that happen during this song. Other teens though were outright rude and mean. Thing is - kids, don't forget your parents can see what you write! If I catch my kids swearing off and being rude and mean online they will loose more then Internet privileges.

The biggest problem with children, teenagers in particular, and the Internet is the parents lack of interest in how they talk to others online. Perhaps how they talk to others offline too. I am sick of listening to adults complain about how today's teenagers have 'no respect,' talk back, are rude, violent, or whatever negative complaint they have. The issue is deeper then that, it starts at the home and goes out into the community from there.

We could blame working mothers for not having enough time or energy for their children. We could blame stay at home mothers for smoothering and indulging their children. We could blame TV shows, video games, liberal laws, friends, and too much money. Pointing and placing blame isn't going to solve the issue. Solutions, we are in need of solutions to help straighten out some of the delinquents that are coming out of high school and into the real world.

I am not looking forward to my children's teen years. I will be monitoring their online lives, and those of their friends to use what I find to open communication about what their actions could mean in the future.

For those children in our socio-economic circle I'd say "Consequences people", that's one part of the solution, consequences, there has to be consequences and we have to love our children enough to let them feel the full force of those consequences. It's easy when they are young, hard when they are older and the consequences are life altering. So start young, let your young children make decisions for themselves and experience the consequences of those decisions, it will teach them in baby steps how to make better decisions when it matters.

Communication is the key to shaping our children to be quality community minded people. Helping them think for themselves by asking open ended questions and listening to what they come up with as solutions. Asking questions that place them in others shoes and understanding how their behavior effects other people. Talking to kids about their day, their friends, and the challenges they face. Taking time to have one on one time to get to know your child is part of the solution.

I can't change the world, I can't make disrespectful teenagers be respectful, I can't stop adults that do nothing but complain and condemn others. What I can do is change the way I act and ensure my children become healthy contributors to society. I do this through communication, consequences, by example, and most importantly love.

Christmas Performances Keeping us Busy.

2009-12-06T15:09:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year - Christmas performances! In Calgary we didn't have too much of a time commitment for performances because the kids schools didn't do anything overly involved during this time of year. My daughter's school had too many kids to do a play so they just stood up and sang songs. My son's school had a major production in the spring so Christmas was quiet. In BC their school is smaller and as a result they are putting on some major productions, add that to my husband's professional performing family we have lots to go and see.

I wasn't looking forward to my son's performance, 3 schools singing environmental songs with some musicians for a benefit. The marketing for the benefit was pure genius - include kids and their parents will buy the tickets, no further advertising necessary. How good could this be with a marketing plan like that? I didn't think it would be anything too special, just another evening watching my child amongst hundreds of others singing songs - bin there done that. I was surprised to find out that my assumption was completely wrong! It was a wonderful and amazing experience, the venue was top notch, the musicians were world class and the show they put on with the kids was professional and full of energy. My son was very fortunate to be able to work with these professional musicians and be part of such a large professional production.

Two nights later we found ourselves at another Christmas production listening to my husband's aunt belt out original songs and traditional Christmas favorites while his grandmother played the piano. They were performing with his aunt's musical group, August. The evening was a real treat, filled with amazing original songs and humour. We watched his aunt perform in Calgary when she was touring as the bass player for other musicians, however, this was the first time we saw her sing her own songs and they were all absolutely wonderful. Living here has its benefits!

The next production is a little more labour intensive for me. My daughter is performing in her school's play, The Grinch. She auditioned for a part but didn't get it, I was so proud of how she handled the disappointment and is stepping into her role as a 'who.' I now have to make her costume, which I have no idea how to do. This should be fun!

What I've come to realize these last few days is that we don't take in enough of local cultural productions and events. The kids get more out of watching performances and taking in art then they do watching a movie at the cineplex. It's time we got them out more to the theater and other quality shows that leave us feeling like we actually got value for our money, unlike most movies at the local cineplex.

Smoothy of the day

2009-12-01T13:30:00.000-08:00

I bought a bunch of fruit to make smoothies with - my usual blueberry / banana concoction is getting a bit boring. I am trying to eat highly nutrient foods that help me feel better and energetic.

Today for an anti-oxidant smoothy I tried:

1/2 mango
Pomegranate seeds - 1/2 the pomegranate
ice cubes
1 scoop GNC vanilla powdered vitamin

The taste was OK but it was a bit difficult to drink the pomegranate seeds - a bit of a different texture. I like pomegranate seeds but not to drink. Don't think this one will be on my favorites list. I'll use the mango again as the flavor was good but I'm gonna drop the pomegranate seeds.

Nutrients from food:

Beta Carotene
Potassium

Hot Yoga - It's been 5 weeks and ????

2009-12-01T10:27:00.000-08:00

OK so it's been 5 weeks of going 3-4 times a week and I'm seeing more flexibility, the heat isn't so debilitating, and I've lost 1 lbs. Yep, 1 lbs. Now before you start saying it's muscle, except for the initial loss of water and getting into my next size down, I've seen no further slimming benefits. I've been eating less and healthier, but I could probably look to improve more in that department, especially since last night I ate mashed potatoes and a second helping of them - it'd eaten very little the rest of the day, and I didn't eat the meat on my plate - but still 2 helpings of 'mashed potatoes??' oh ya, did I mention I'd smoothered it with the mushroom soup gravy from the pork chops?

I've got to improve my eating habits every day - all day...... then maybe? hopefully?

The only thing I've proved so far is that hot yoga is not the only thing to do, I need to do more!

Christmas Gifts for Little Kids - The Top Picks

2009-11-30T12:29:00.000-08:00

Christmas always comes with the question, "What am I going to get the kids?" My kids have a short list, and it is filled with Wii games. I really want to find something that they would just love but would keep them off the video game console.

Any suggestions for a 10 year old boy? and a 7 year old tom-boy? No princesses allowed according to my little girl.

Check out this news article on the Best Toys for the little rock stars, artists, and performers.

Stampin Up Dasher Stamp - Pictures of Handmade Christmas Cards

2009-11-26T12:08:00.000-08:00

I just got the Stampin Up Dasher Stamp so I sat down and got to work on some cards for the Christmas season. I love this stamp, its so elegant.

With this series of Christmas cards I used nearly navy and white Stampin Up cardstock, Silver cardstock I bought from Micheals, Encore Silver ink.

I used nearly navy stampin up cardstock and a silver cardstock I picked up at Michaels. Dasher and the snowflakes were stamped using Encore Silver ink.

I used Stampin Up red and nearly navy cardstock and a silver cardstock I bought at Micheals. I used Encore silver ink to stamp Dasher, Merry Christmas, and snowflakes and Stampin Up nearly navy to stamp Deck the Halls. I used the Encore Silver ink to ink the edges of the oval that I cut using the Creative Memories cutting system. I added 2 small red plastic jewels that I got a Wal Mart to the silver cardstock. I attached the Merry Christmas oval to the silver cardstock strip with extra thick foam dots. I used a silver making memories stamp to attach the nearly navy cardstock with dasher stamped on it to a small silver piece to add visual balance.

I like the simplisity of this card. I used red, teal, and white Stampin Up cardstock. Dasher and 'tis the season was stamped using Encore gold ink.

For this card I used red and a teal with white Stampin Up card stock and then heat embossed snowflakes with gold Stampin Up embossing powder for the background. Dasher was stamped with Encore gold ink.

I used red, chocolate, and carmel Stampin Up cardstock, a yellow printed paper and 3 Making Memories antiqued brass snaps. The ribbon is a cheap gift wrap ribbon with Merry Christmas printed in gold. Dasher was stamped using Encore gold ink.

More Ideas to stamp with Dasher...

Angelina Jolie - Hello Magazine's Celebrity of the Decade

2009-11-26T10:51:00.000-08:00

Watch out at the supermarket for the next issue of 'Hello' Canada Magazine. They have named Angelina Jolie the Celebrity of the decade and the article will reveal more about her REAL life with Brad Pitt.

I like the Hello Magazine, not just because its a Canadian publication, but because its not a rag filled with sensational lies and half truths.

Either way if any celebrity deserves the title of celebrity of the decade, it would be Angelina. She's been in the headlines helping people, adopting 3 children, getting married and divorced, involved in a highly visual marital break up and then going on to be 1/2 of the most powerful couple in Hollywood. Not to mention giving birth to 3 beautiful children. Then careerwise she's won an oscar, played the leading lady in a vast number of blockbusters, and has emerged an icon of action and drama. Is there any other celebrity that has done so much in 10 years?

November in Vancouver is a Real Downer

2009-11-25T12:17:00.000-08:00

OK enough of the rain already. I knew it was going to be wet and rainy here, afterall that's winter in Vancouver - right?! A month of solid rain and dreary skies, I miss the Calgary sunshine and big sky. I am sitting here looking out at the fabulous view from my bedroom of the Pacific Ocean and all the Islands and all I can think of is where is the sun already.

I am truly getting the blues, I don't want to do much of anything and I am exhausted all the time, even after lots of sleep. Next year I want a vacation to sunnier spots - I don't care if it's minus 40, just as long as there is sunshine!

Oh well, I'll just use the rainy day blues as my latest excuse not to do more than absolutely necessary around the house. I think it's time to go shopping - spending money always improves my mood.

Now I can't even see the ocean for the low fog..... great where's the benefit of living here?

New Bill Introduced to Help Catch Internet Child Pornography Offenders

2009-11-24T11:42:00.000-08:00

I can't believe the government actually has to pass legislation that would compel ISP companies to report child pornography websites using their services and keep copies of any evidence uploaded to their sites. Failure to do so will result in Fines up to $100,000.00. Shouldn't this just be a given?

Why would any self respecting ISP owners who receive tips about child porn sites using their services not report it to police or save any and all evidence?

Is business really more important than children? Or is this law necessary to help collect evidence due to the privacy act that hinders the police? Since when is posting something online considered protected under the privacy act anyway?

Email your MPs and ask for tougher legislation to help close down these sites in Canada. In no way should any child pornography website be able to operate out of Canada.

Check out these sites that are helping to combat Child Pornography Online and Keep our Children safe on the web.

Cyber Angels CyberAngels is one of the oldest and most respected online safety education programs in the world.

CPAC - Childrens Protection Advocacy Coalition - Not the best site but their are links to other world wide organizations that are trying to stop child porn.

Websites against Child Porn - Lots of good information and links to more information.

If you know of any site or how to help stop Child Pornography online or off line for that matter please add it in the comments and lets work together to protect our children.

A Good Dishwasher is More Important then a Good Man

2009-11-24T09:36:00.001-08:00

I don't hand wash anything, if it can't go into the dishwasher I don't want it. As 'The Lazy Housewife,' hand washing is too much work for me. In our former residence, which we built, I made sure I purchased the best dishwasher available in 2000. I didn't want to wash my dishes before the dishwasher did and I certainly wanted to be able to pile as many dishes as possible into the machine. You never really appreciate what you've got 'til its gone.

We are currently renting a house where the appliances were the best offered in the early 80s and the dishwasher has seen better days. I am so frustrated because I have to not only rinse my dishes before they go into the dishwasher, but I have to soak them in soapy water. I can't pile dishes into it, only a few at a time making sure nothing is covering any other item. I might as well hand wash ... heaven forbid!

When we finally do obtain the purchase of that perfect house it has to have a state of the art dishwasher and if it doesn't - one will have to be put in before I move in. Although anything newer then what I have now has got to better. I have to empty it 3 times a day ... last time I ran a dishwasher that much I had 6 kids for breakfast lunch and snack time on top of the usual family of 4 mess.

The next dishwasher must be able to create enough water pressure to blast any stuck on mess off any dish or pot. It must have enough space to hold almost all my dishes at once. It should come with an extra boost of heating the water to ensure all bacteria is annihilated and if it was able to empty and fill itself it would forever be in my kitchen.

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