Twice Exceptional

Being a parent is full of stresses, just when you think you have it all figured out you get a phone call. My son's schools have tested and labelled him twice exceptional. Labels, I had hoped my son would be average, even when it was very apparent that he wasn't, I didn't want him to be labelled. He hates being different and wants to be the same as everyone else. I can't blame him, isn't that what anyone wants, to be just like their friends.

When I got the call from my son's resource teacher with the latest test results I was filled with both extreme pride and foreboding. My grade 4 son, my baby, has completed grade 10 for reading ability and grade 8 for comprehension. Any parent would be thrilled to get such a call but it fills me with a feeling I can't explain. Of course I'm proud, but there is this worry, fear, and stress that won't leave the pit of my stomach.

I'm not a neurotic parent, far from it. I don't visit doctor's offices at the sign of a sniffle or the emergency room for every scrap or fall. I'm a firm believer in natural consequence, responsibility for choices, and figuring things out for themselves. I don't get rattled easily, I pride myself on handling any issue that comes my way - but every time I talk to his school I worry that he will not meet his potential and its my fault.

Working full time again has taken my focus away from my kids. Mothers always feel guilty, I mean isn't that a measuring stick of how good a mother you are? Working mothers have the added guilt of not being there all the time. This is probably the source of this feeling in the pit of my stomach the nagging voice saying I'm not good enough, I'm failing my son.

Finding a School for a Verbally, Visually Gifted boy with a Processing Disability

When your child has special educational needs, you'll fight to make sure he gets the best education possible. When I was in school, too many years to count, schools were starting to address learning disabilities and special needs. Schools were still a one size fits all method with an emphasis on written analysis of a child's knowledge. Today there are so many options and various programs for children with a vast array of learning disorders.

In Alberta there are so many schools to choose from that I found it a little overwhelming. French Immersion, German Immersion, Spanish Immersion, International French, Science focused, Math focused, traditional, for gifted students, for sports students, and what we finally choose - Fine Arts based.

I wanted to make sure my son got the best education for his special needs and I finally found it. Since birth he was always ahead when it came to developmental milestones by months. In kindergarten and grade one his teachers were amazed by his reading and verbal abilities and mentioned that he may be gifted. In grade 2 his teacher noticed that although he was very skilled verbally and read at a grade 4 level, his writing was below his age level and he was having problems staying focused in class.

The teacher suspected ADD - don't they all! Thankfully the school administration is very proactive in assessing children's needs and didn't just arbitrarily label him ADD because the psychologist was able to discover that he was bored and had a hard time processing what he wanted in written format. Granted he does have a huge imagination and spends a lot of time in it, but he doesn't have ADD.

I am very thankful that there are so many options out there for families who want to offer their children an education that is different from the one size fits all type. Although my son's former school did everything they could to meet his needs and provide him with help, it was limited because of the number of children with different needs. Last year he was different, the only one in a class of over 20 that needed a scribe and had special computer privileges. Now there are 10 kids in his class who receive a photocopy of the class notes to help them follow along and he's not the only one who can't get his written journal done. This has improved his self esteem because he doesn't feel alone or special anymore. This school is amazing and I am grateful that it is available for children like my son.

Searching for the Best School for my Son, Which is Best?

My son is special and I want the best for him, but trying to find the best school for him is stressful. I went to an orientation this evening and although it sounds wonderful I am having a hard time making a decision.

St. John's Fine Arts school has a great reputation and a wonderful program, but will it work best for my son's needs? Presently he is in grade 3 at our local neighbourhood school along with my daughter, she's in Kindergarten. The neighbourhood school has a fine arts based curriculum (but is not a fine arts school) and it has provided my son with the resources he needs. He has only one more year at this school before he will be shipped out to a middle school that is not fine arts based for two years. Next year would be the last year that both my kids will be in the same school if my son stays where he is.

If he goes to St. John's then he'll be there for the next three years and then will go on to a fine arts jr. high. It is set up like a jr high where teachers teach based on subjects and the kids have more than one teacher and this makes it easier for them when they go into jr. high.

They enable the children to express themselves in many different ways, drama, music, dance, and art. Everything is project based and all the classes work together to build on each other. For example socials curriculum influences art classes and visa versa.

The school is downtown about 30 minutes without rush hour and it's Catholic and we're not. Although I love the idea of religion and prayer in the school, I've never gone to Catholic school and don't know what to expect.

My son is gifted visually and extremely gifted verbally, he has a processing learning disability. What this means is that he gets the lessons quick, he has these amazing thoughts processes but he cannot write them on paper very well. Trying to find a school where he will flourish and expand his potential is stressful because I don't know where he will fit best.

The city has schools for gifted kids, but I'm not sure if my son would fit because he's not an academic kid and has a learning disability. There are also science based, math based, French and Spanish immersion, hockey based, and a variety of other options out there. All these options make it hard to know which is the best and it becomes stressful, every mother wants their child to excel and worrys about their education.