Which is Best? Kids in Daycare or Kids at home with Mom

I saw the cutest little kids today on a walk with their daycare, they must have been 3 years old. My heart ached for my kids to be that small again and wondered where all the time had gone. Time passes so fast and they are little for such a short period of time - honest it's true. I remember telling my husband that things could wait and his time with his son couldn't because before we knew it he'd be off with friends. That time came fast!!!

I have been a working mother, a stay at home mother and a work from home mother. The time I spent with my children at home was precious and I wish it would have lasted longer or that I had enjoyed and focused on it longer. When I ran a dayhome it was too chaotic and busy for me to really enjoy the time I had with my kids. Then I was too preoccupied with trying to find work to focus on the time with them. I just have to look at my kids scrapbooks to remember the times I was with them and to see how many years I missed recording their lives.

Is one situation better then any other for children?
Should kids be in daycares or home with their mothers? Does it really matter in the long run?

Let's look at the Pro's of Daycare:
1. Socialization
2. Schedules
3. Independence

Let's look at the Con's of Daycare:
1. No one loves you like MOM does
2. Don't learn to entertain themselves (for the most part every minute is planned and every activity explained to death - leaves no room for entertaining themselves.)
3. No real attachment to care giver if high turn over in daycare

Not all daycares are created equal, this is a very general look at daycare life. The Pro's and Con's of being home with mom are not cut and dry because every mom is different. Where some mom's are very structured with a lot of planned activities that entertain the child others are go with the flow and offer their kids more time to entertain themselves and figure things out for themselves.

Home life may be easier if someone cares for the kids and handles the daily chores of the house and home so the person working can spend more time with kids when home. Others may find it easier if both parents work and bring in money to hire others to help out with the daily chores and childcare. Each family is different and each child is different.

My son and I are very close and the first 3 years of his life was spent in daycare while I worked full time. My daughter and I are close in a different way and she never went to daycare. I can't say daycare made the difference, personality and maturity has a lot to do with it as well. Did my son suffer being in daycare? NO, he enjoyed it and loved playing with his friends. Did my daughter benefit being home with me? Probably in some ways and since I ran a daycare she received the socialization she would have had a daycare. I do believe that since both children were so different and needed different things from me they needed different types of care.

My son was social and lit up when he was around other children, my daughter was shy and had no interest in other children. My son was easy going and was very verbal and intelligent so he needed different types of stimulation through the day. My daughter was very particular and very clingy to me. Although she was very smart as well, she had an emotional need for me to be there with her every day. I am confident that both children received what they needed when it came to their day to day care.

Whether a mother should stay home or work outside the home is a very emotional debate which some feel their way is the one and only way. Mothers who stay home think mothers that work neglect their kids and have their priorities skewed. Mothers who work think mothers that stay home don't provide for their family's future. Is one side right and another wrong, since I was both and I believe I did what was best for each child's needs at the time I would say NO, neither is right or wrong. The only choice that is wrong is the choice that only takes into consideration the needs of the mother and NOT the needs of the child. The only mistake is believing you are forced to work by financial and social pressures, when you could have stayed home instead.