The Imperfect Wife

I am not the best wife, it's not that I don't love my husband - I do, its just that I can't seem to make him happy. He's a perfectionist and he demands that the house be clean, organized, and everything done. I'm not working and my kids are in school so I have the time to devote to housework. So why don't I?

If I was a great little wifey I'd want to make him happy, I'd be motivated to get the house work done, but I can't. I find it boring and draining. I am easily distracted by my thoughts and anything else that may catch my attention for a moment, no matter how fleeting.

It's not uncommon to find a load of wet laundry in the washer that's been there for a couple of days. A full can of garbage pushed down so much the bag is hard to pull out. Dishes piled on the counter, waiting for the dishwasher to hurry up and clean the dishes from last nights dinner, are always glaring at anyone who walks into the kitchen.

I try to get the house tidied up before my husband gets home and I think everything looks good but he always finds something. He says he isn't looking for it but it just jumps out and screams at him biting me in the ass. He freaks out, looses it after days and days of walking into the same situation day in and day out.

I should care more, I should be striving to be a Sally homemaker extraordinaire but I'm just not wired that way. I spend my day reading books that make me think, listening to pod casts that cause me to wonder, and updates from the news caster that make me wonder if its worth it. Sometimes I get creative and make cards or scrapbook my children's childhood. I spend time getting caught up watching missed episodes of my favorite shows online. I go to yoga, I window shop, I go to the library to learn about great resumes and cover letters. Anything to fill the minutes between now and getting back to work.