What is Going On? Is There Something Wrong with Me?

I gotta tell you I'm beginning to wonder what in the world is wrong with me?  I'm beginning to take the rejection personally. I have never in all my years, and that is quite a few, had such a hard time finding a job.  I usually am choosing which one I want to take and if something goes array with one, there is another in the wings ready to scoop me up.  Then again I've never looked for work in Vancouver before, maybe I just don't have that whatever it is Vancouver employers look for.  -- Which is what exactly? 

I wouldn't be in such a rush except I have no cash flow and the credit card company calls me everyday asking for money I just don't have - I have to buy my gas with spare change.   Really it is embarrassing to drop $4.00 in change on the counter just to get a few more kilometers down the road.  My husband, God love him, is stressed out because we doubled the mortgage when we moved out here and its all on him.  I get it, but standing over me and blaming me for not giving it my all doesn't help. 

Thing is, even if life was perfect, I had a job, could buy whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, I'd still find things to bitch about.  To the bulk of the world I've got it good - I have a roof over my head and I'm not starving, all thanks to my hubby by the way.  I've got two great kids and parents who love me.  I couldn't ask for more. 

Really what am I complaining for?  How many mothers would love the chance to stay home with their kids?  I should see my lack of employment as a blessing in disguise.  I should be thrilled to be able to focus on my family and home.  Thing is though, the job situation is consuming me and I can't think of anything else.  At some point things will all work out and I'll wish I was unemployed and home with my kids.