Family Gatherings - Adult Siblings Can we Just Get Along?

My brother and his partner came to visit the cabin and as usual things revert back to childhood. Why does unresolved childhood conflict rear its ugly head and is there anyway to overcome it? Do we have to always act like we are 7 years old around our parents?

Personally I have lots of unresolved issues with my brother, he's great at everything he does and has the same tastes, humour and opinions as my parents. I on the other hand do not. It pains me that we can't sit and talk to each other like friends or want to get together to hang out.

It is what it is and to force it into something else just won't happen. Is it environmental or is it genetic? Looking back through the family tree I find that my father isn't close with his sister, my grandfather didn't talk to his sisters (and one lived just behind them), my great grandfather moved across the country from his siblings. Is it genetic?

Personality has a lot to do with whether or not you will get along, my brother and I just happen to have different personalities - he has one. He loves small town living and knows what is going on in our home town where I love the city. We are both outgoing but in different ways, he is always surrounded by friends and yet has a career where he doesn't work around people. I enjoy my solitude at home yet have a career that involves meeting new people and building relationships with them on a daily basis. He's athletic and healthy, I'm not. I read, he doesn't. I like to discuss politics and philosophy he jokes about political issues and is not philosophical. I have kids, he doesn't. The list goes on and on. Although we had the same upbringing, the same environment, the same opportunities we are as different as night and day.

My brother has lots of friends for a reason he's a fun guy to be around. He is in no hurry to be a responsible husband or parent because he enjoys his outdoor recreational activities. He keeps in touch with friends he's met all over the world and is always the life of the party. He has a great career that suits him to a T and he's really great at. He has a beautiful woman to share his life with and a wonderful life in the Coastal Mountains of BC. What skiier wouldn't want to live just minutes from Whistler?

I admire him and think he's got a great life, just wish we could get past all the childhood crap and be friends.

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