Working Mom or Stay at Home Mom - Which is Better? Part 1

Today Dr. Phil pitted stay at home mom's against those who work outside the home. I've been both and if I could, I would work outside the home again - in a heart beat. I didn't get to watch much of the show, had to take the kids to their Wednesday activity. What I did see was no surprise, women who believe what they have chosen is the right choice and those that make the opposite have chosen wrong. Why is it that some feel it is their right to decide for others?

Could it be that those who are most vocal about others making the wrong choice are unsure of the choice they have made for themselves? I can't say what's the best choice for kids but I can tell you what the benefits and downfalls of being both are.

Stay at home mom's have more time to do everything they need to do, but they have to do everything. Days merge into each other and I feel that I never accomplishing anything. I always feel like I'm behind the eight ball and every time I start to get ahead I end up two steps back. Since I rarely have anywhere to be and see adults very infrequently I spend too much time in comfortable clothes and with my hair in a pony tail, taking care of me is a luxury I just don't have any money or energy for. Since I'm home my husband expects to have to do less around the house because I have the time, after all I'm home all day. My days are filled with laundry, cooking, baking, organizing, planning, and driving the kids everywhere. I feel like I don't get anything done because I'm doing so much at once and there is always a distraction or two.

Benefits of being a stay at home mom(SAHM):

1. When I'm staying home with my children, my life revolves around them and for them. I am a part of their lives, I get to share more of myself with them and they with me.

2. I have time to ensure they get to activities, although I don't always have the money to enroll them, but I do get to watch them and I'm always there when they need me.

3. I am able to cook healthy meals and bake healthy (or not so healthy) snacks in lieu of pre packaged food.

4. I have formed bonds with my kids that no one else could and I am able to make them know without a doubt that they are the most important thing in my life.

5. One of the perks is that I get to have lots of hugs, kisses and cuddles everyday, whenever I need them.

6. I have more time to meet my friends for coffee on a regular basis.

7. I have time to scrapbook my family memories and tend my garden.

The Downside:

1. I do loose touch with what is going on in the workplace and I have fallen behind in my career. It made it really hard when I went back to work to accept that there were younger people who were above me in the corporate ladder.

2. It is isolating to be home everyday, all day with my children. It can be hard to feel as though I'm contributing to society or doing something important with my life. I watch others in the news doing so much, being so much, and I am jealous.

3. Some days I feel as though I've lost my "Self" and I'm not sure who I am or what I want for myself. My days are filled with caring for others helping to define their sense of "Self."

Being a stay at home mom is hard, especially for those women who thrive in the workplace. For those who thrive taking care of their family, their home, and their children Staying home with their children is where they thrive. That is why neither option is the right choice for everyone, everyone is different, every family is different, every child is different, and every situation is different. It comes down to why the choices are made and if they are made in the best interest of the child how can anyone fault a mother for making either choice?

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