Women Living in Vancouver Area -- GIRLS NIGHT OUT

Do you live in the Lower Mainland Vancouver? Are you looking to meet new friends and make new connections?

I am presently organizing girls night out events that will be filled with fun, entertainment, prizes and networking.

If you are interested in more information leave me a comment and I'll make sure you get notified.

Life is Wonderful when I`m Busy!

The past 4 days has been a blur of paint and phone calls. I start early in the morning to get ready to paint all day and into the evening. It really feels wonderful to be doing something productive again.

I love to work - well anything but housework - and I am happiest when I`m occupied so I`m really happy that we have this huge project with such a short deadline.... 3 days to go `til we start moving in and lots of rooms left to paint.

To top it off my phone is ringing with job interviews. Thankfully they are phone interviews this week so I just take a break from painting. Its really exciting how God is bringing everything together right when it is time to. My time of rest is coming to an end and I look forward to being busy working again.

The downside to working again is that my focus will be off my kids and back onto work. I tend to work long hours, not because I have to but because I want to succeed quickly. I am fortunate though because my kids are wonderful about it and they then value their one on one time with me even more. I feel guilty about not regretting the 6 months I was on the road and away from them. I don`t - I still value that time away traveling focused on work and I think the kids did benefit from it because they got more time with dad.

I`ve been blessed through the years to have opportunities to stay home, whether by self employment, home based employment, or employment insurance benefits. Many people I know think that my kids are sometimes getting the short end of the stick because I`ve merged work with family but I think its made them even more amazing. My son, although lazy, has a healthy desire to work and takes his paper route job very seriously. Now if I could just get him to work as hard for me as he does for them.

I fully believe the time I spent with them working from home when they were young benefited them more then if I had continued working outside the home. It meant long hours taking care of other people`s children but it was worth it. I`ve been a good mom and now its time for a solid new start and I`m looking forward to a career outside the home again.

Time Our Most Precious Commodity

I've been thinking a lot about time lately, how fast it passes, how much of it I waste, how I never have enough. This year I want to start making better use of my time and being more productive. Since being home I feel like I'm always so far behind I can see my big butt and I don't get anything done, ever!

Some blogs I follow I have to wonder why these women seem to have so much more time then me and are so much more productive? For example, the writer of the Country Heart and Home blog has 4 boys, is pregnant, always is baking amazing treats and creating amazing craft projects, both on a daily basis. I am stumped at how she does it all.

Time Management tricks that have worked for me in the past:

1) Every morning making a to do list
2) Planning out my week
3) Planning out meals - quick and easy ones
4) List of goals to accomplish in view
5) Post it notes in specific places
6) Focus on task at hand
7) Break down tasks into smaller ones
8) Block time into similar activities - a day to run errands not everyday
9) Get off the computer
10) Get my nose out of a book - or listen to a book instead on my MP3 player
11) Turn off the TV - we finally cancelled cable, great time saver for everyone


There's a start to the list at least. I will continue to add to it as I figure out ways to better manage my time and be more productive around the house. The biggest issue I have with being productive at home is being interrupted, I can never get anything done because I'm always being interrupted to do something else and by the time I get back to the first task I have to start all over again.

What are some of your time saving ideas?

Life What is it Suppose to Be?

This wasn't suppose to be my life, this wasn't the plan. I never wanted to be a stay at home mom and yet, here I am at home raising my kids and caring for my family. I have no career to speak of and my identity is wrapped up in my family. It wasn't suppose to be this way, I was suppose to do something with my life, to be more than this. Yet here I am waiting.

Ever feel like life hasn't worked out for you? Like you are on the wrong path or in a rut? So many of us are not living up to our potential or not doing what we had hoped we would be. When I hear about old high school friends who are out jet setting and seeing the world, I cringe inside. I see career women dropping their kids off at activities and they look like they have their whole life so put together and I am envious.

Where do you wish life had taken you? What would you have done differently? There is so much I would have done different if I had only had the guts to do it. I would have travelled more, chosen a better career, and I would have waited longer to have my kids.

Do you sometimes wonder where all the time went? I see young mom's out shopping and think - hey that's suppose to be me. I have babies, don't I? I turn around and see my babies are growing up and I am left alone at home waiting for school to be over. My life wasn't suppose to be like this.

I have done a lot these past 10 years and I have worked, stayed home, worked from home, and now I am about to start off on another adventure in the workforce. Starting at the bottom again, at entry level in my mid 30s. I should be more by now but I'm not. I am who I am and that is going to have to be enough for now. Maybe by my mid 40s I will have everything I ever wanted out of life, and then again maybe not. I'm tired of the road I'm on though, time to make a change and take a different route, do I turn left or right?

Are you ready to make a difference in your life? Oprah always has some challenge going on to help you do just that. The latest - a 21 day challenge to detoxify the soul.

Christmas - Time for Family

My mom went all out this year and gave us a traditional family Christmas. The last time we all got together at mom's place for Christmas was so long ago I can't remember. We cut back on presents and yet had one of the best Christmas' ever.

My mom loves to cook and with our family growing she never runs out of mouths to feed. One of these years she'll have to compile all her favorite recipes into one book to pass down to my daughter who loves to help her in the kitchen. By the time mom is too old to cook for all the family my daughter will have a family of her own and can take up the torch. Whenever I hosted the family Christmas dinner, mom would take over the kitchen and cook up a storm.

What makes Christmas at mom's extra special is their home. It was built by my great grand father in 1906, so its always like we are having an old fashion Christmas, with some technology thrown in for good measure. My dad renovated it himself and he did a fantastic job of balancing the old with the new.

This year my brother brought his better half with him and our uncle showed up to surprise everyone. There has been no shortage of people to challenge for a game of golf, bowling, or guitar hero on the kids wii. (not a new gift). The wii has brought all generations together to play a game - my grandmother is the wii bowling champion and my kids are the guitar hero champions although my husband keeps trying to kick my son's but.

My kids love my brother and he makes a real cool uncle, his personality, interests, hobbies, and career are all pretty phenom in my kids eyes, actually in most peoples eyes. His better half is just as impressive so the kids are pretty lucky. It's too bad they don't get to see them more often, my brother is makes a really great uncle... hopefully one day soon a great dad too.

My mom is the hub that keeps us all together, without her we'd be scattered and rarely see each other let alone know what each of us was up to. Christmas wouldn't happen if my dad was in charge, he is the quiet rock that we can all count on but my mom is the one who puts in the work, the effort, and makes it all work. Dad knows how lucky he is to have her, we all do.

What I Love about being a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM)

Now that I've listed all the things I hate about staying home, I thought I'd balance it out with all the things I love about staying home. For all its frustrations and lack of appreciation staying home and taking care of my kids has been a blessing. Yes, one I'll choose to cut short and go back to work outside the home in the New Year.

What I Love about being a stay at home mom:

1. Focusing on the Kids

All my focus is on my kids and what they need to be happy. I'm not thinking about work or deadlines. I'm not stressed out and exhausted every night. I get to wake my kids up, get them to school, pick them up from school, take them to all their activities, and still have energy for them in the evening.

2. Volunteering at their School

In 6 years I haven't been able to volunteer in my kids class and I missed out on a large chunk of their lives. Now I'm making up for it by being in the school 2-3 mornings a week. I'm getting to know their school friends and be part of their education. My daughter is so proud that I'm there so much. It has really enabled me to be part of their lives on a level I wasn't before.

3. Time for ME

It's a different type of me time, because my focus is on health and getting in shape. When I work I have me time every lunch hour and coffee break, but its tampered with what I got to get done for work, grabbing a quick bite to eat, and some peaceful time shopping, browsing, or going for a walk. I do have more time without the kids when I work. This time round my kids are older and in school so I have more ME time and can focus more on me and getting in shape.

4. Healthy Dinners & Lunches

I have time to bake and make dinners every night. I add healthy ingredients to cookies and make sure that each dinner is balanced well. As much as I hate cooking and enjoy eating out, not having the money to eat out and having the time to cook has been good for the family as a whole.

5. Cleaner House & Laundry Done

I clean and do laundry everyday so it's not such a huge job on the weekends. This gives us more family time. We don't have a lot of cash to go do stuff so we are home more, which results in more housework but its spread out over the whole week. I may not be organized, I may not have the perfect Martha house, but its manageable.

6. Hobbies

I have time for hobbies like card making and scrapbooking. I can spend time preserving memories again and enjoying my time. When I work my hobbies are put in a box in storage because I don't have any time to do them, also my focus is on work so I don't think to do them.

7. Friends

I have time for coffee with friends on a regular basis. I end up with stronger friendships, work friendships are rarely as strong or as good. It enables me to build a support group that I can lean on when I'm back at work.


As I think of more I'll add to both lists..... sometimes a thought will pop into my head while I'm mopping the floor or baking cookies.

What are some of the things you love about being a stay at home mom?

Why I Hate Being a Stay at Home Mom .... (SAHM)

Being a stay at home mom has its moments, but for the most part it sucks. Since staying home life has been good because I get to focus on the kids, their school, activities and needs. I also have time for me - going to yoga and crafting. So if life is so good, why do I hate being a stay at home mom?

1. Housework

There is always housework, but as a stay at home mom I am expected to do it all by myself and have it all done everyday. I am not a perfect home maker, especially when it comes to house work. I overlook dust and small amounts of clutter. I put off cleaning as long as possible and by the end of the day my kitchen has a pile of dishes.

Every time I clean up the kitchen and get it perfect, its time to make a meal and the kitchen is a disaster once again. I feel like I'm getting nothing accomplished and going nowhere.

2. Laundry

I'm knee deep in it.... whether I work outside the home or not, I'm knee deep in laundry. I'm just not very good at getting it done and put away so I have no sense of pride in doing it.

3. Alone all day

Being new to the city means I'm a little more isolated then when I was a stay at home mom in Calgary. I've met some women here but it will take time to make good friends to meet for coffee on a regular basis.

4. Everyone thinks I have time

I like to volunteer but because I'm not working those that do work think I have all this extra time to help them out. Well, I do and I don't. I get so busy volunteering at the school I get behind at home, and the further behind I get the worse I feel.

5. No money

I have time to shop but no money to spend.

6. Pride and Accomplishment

I know, in my head I know, that being a stay at home mom is an honest hard job. Still I don't feel the same sense of pride or accomplishment that I do when I am working. I don't have the same level of confidence. Working provides me with self worth and validation, staying at home does not.

7. Boredom

I have a lot to do, I stay very very busy but its boring. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, and chauffeuring the kids around is boring boring boring. I'm not challenged or energized by my daily tasks and it wears on me. My kids are interesting to talk to, especially my son, but these conversations have a short time span and then its, "mom, I need.........." Sometimes they can be real demanding little pukes.

8. No TGIF (Thank God it's Friday)

Everyday is the same for the most part, weekends bring more work because the kids and hubby are home. Cooking, Cleaning, and Laundry don't take a holiday, in fact holidays bring more work. There is no weekend to look forward to.

As a stay at home mom I get to focus on my kids and their lives, which as a working mom I don't have the time or energy to do. When I work my focus is on work and doing my best there for 40 plus hours a week. This leaves me drained and strapped for time. When I work I still have to cook, clean, do laundry, and chauffeur the kids - I just have less time to do it in. As a stay at home mom I get to show my kids how important their education is to me and share in their daily lives, more then when I work.

I am grateful for this short period that I've had staying home and helping my kids with the transition of moving from one province to another. However, I am looking forward to going back to work in the near future. I know that being home for my kids is important and valuable for them in the long run, I truly believe that children do benefit from mothers who can focus on them when they are young. However, in my heart I want to work... problem solve ... use my skills ... become something more then this.

Today's One of Those "Blue" Days - How to Stay Happy as a Stay at Home Mom

Maybe it's the rain but I'm down in the dumps today. On days like this I get nothing done, am thinking very negatively, and don't want to move off the couch. One of the hardest parts of being a stay at home mom is the isolation, especially since we just moved to a new province and I don't know anyone. Maybe I need some "happy" pills or just a good night sleep.

Really I should be grateful, extremely grateful, that I have the life I do. Afterall, I have a roof over my head, food on the table, and two wonderful children. Yet, I'm still unmotivated and starting to have thoughts that are darker then I'd like them to be. If it was a matter of the negatives overwhelming me then I'd be able to combat these blues with a positives first attitude. That is listing out all that I'm am grateful for, concentrating on the positives of life before the negatives. However, it is not - it's just the "blues" for no reason, except perhaps boredom, lonliness, or lack of mental stimulation.

I started to search out other websites that claim to have the answer for stay at home moms to remain happy. Many people do not understand how someone who is home and has no demands outside their family could get down - but it does happen. One of the reasons mothers work outside the home is for their mental health, others stay home for the same reason. Everyone has bad days, everyone gets "blue," everyone needs coping tools, and everyone needs support.

How to stay Happy being a stay at home mom

Dr. Phil Stay at Home Mom Message Board

How to be a Stay at Home Mom

Happy Housewives Club

Counting Your Blessings

I should really take this opportunity that life has given me to enjoy being a stay at home mom and have a nap. If I waste a day I shouldn't really sweat it and give myself a break for not doing the laundry. Better yet, I think I'll pick up the phone and call my girlfriends back in Calgary - that is always the best medicine for days like these.

Scheduling My Time to Get Stuff Done!!! So Much To Do and Not Enough Time

I am trying to get a hold of my time so that I am not wasting it and getting more done around the house. My goal right now is to make sure there is enough healthy food available to make lunches easily and after school grab n go snacks. By organizing tasks into blocks of time I can be more efficient.

Monday's I get all my shopping for the week done. I'm out of the house all day driving from one store to the next and then spend the rest of the day putting everything away.

Tuesday's I bake and prep food for the freezer or into snack packs for the kids. I just bought a Rival Seal a Meal,*** I plan on getting more prepping done to make cooking meals the rest of the week easier. I bake a lot on Tuesday's so that I'm cleaning up the mess once and utilizing ingredients for more then one receipe.

Wednesday's I clean the main level of the house and do laundry. I'm not very good at cleaning so it does take me a lot longer then most people. Laundry seems to be never ending but the bulk of it gets done.

Thursday's I book any appointments the kids need, ie doctor, dentist, activities, etc. I use this time to plan meals for next week, organize time and stuff... the rest of the day is "me" time.

Friday I clean the upper level and get the rest of the laundry done.

Not sure how this system is going to work out. I have a friend who plans out her time this way and seems to get everything done, is not stressed out, and stays in budgets. If I look at being a stay at home mom the same way I organize myself when I'm a working mom I should be able to save money, have healthy food on hand, and get everything done. Well, maybe......


*** After using up the whole roll trying to get a handle on the Rival Seal a Meal I have decided that it is good for freezing meat and that's about it. When I buy a large amount of meat, ie a warehouse pack or a huge chunk of beef from Costco, it will keep portions frozen better. If I ever get ambitious enough I can add marinade before I seal it, although it would become very messy when the air vacums out - so maybe not.

Volunteering my time for my Children

I get myself into moments of manic and I start to over book and over commit myself. I just left the latest PAC meeting for my kids school and I voluntered for 2 committees, I had to leave the room to stop myself from committing to more. I need a project, something to focus on, something to occupy my time and utilize my skills. Keeping it to one is the problem, there is so much need for parents to step up to the plate and make the school a much better place for our kids.

I'd love to say this is a problem resulting from more mothers going to work and not having the time to volunteer but that's not true. I remember my mom always complaining that the same group of parents volunteered while the rest complained and didn't help out. That was 30 some odd years ago and most moms were stay at home moms.

If you are a stay at home mom with the future goal of going back to work volunteering is the perfect way to do something for your kids and keep your skills sharp. It looks great on your resume when you show that you continued to utilize and hone your employable skills while you were home. It also shows that you are a good worker, a valuable asset, and a community oriented employee.

What do you think would be more valuable on a resume when you try to get back into the workforce: 1) a block of time at home 2) a block of time at home where you used marketable skills outside the home.

The skills a mother uses in the home are valuable, but to many employers they don't value them the same as out of the home skills. Volunteering while you are staying at home shows that you are able to manage both taking care of your family and completing other commitments (such as future employment).

So volunteer - help out - show your children what it means to care about more then yourself.

I just finished picking my kids up to have another - will you volunteer - request because I did such a great job volunteering last time. Just how much time do I want to spend in my daughter's class every week????

Working Mom or Stay at Home Mom - Which is Better? Part 1

Today Dr. Phil pitted stay at home mom's against those who work outside the home. I've been both and if I could, I would work outside the home again - in a heart beat. I didn't get to watch much of the show, had to take the kids to their Wednesday activity. What I did see was no surprise, women who believe what they have chosen is the right choice and those that make the opposite have chosen wrong. Why is it that some feel it is their right to decide for others?

Could it be that those who are most vocal about others making the wrong choice are unsure of the choice they have made for themselves? I can't say what's the best choice for kids but I can tell you what the benefits and downfalls of being both are.

Stay at home mom's have more time to do everything they need to do, but they have to do everything. Days merge into each other and I feel that I never accomplishing anything. I always feel like I'm behind the eight ball and every time I start to get ahead I end up two steps back. Since I rarely have anywhere to be and see adults very infrequently I spend too much time in comfortable clothes and with my hair in a pony tail, taking care of me is a luxury I just don't have any money or energy for. Since I'm home my husband expects to have to do less around the house because I have the time, after all I'm home all day. My days are filled with laundry, cooking, baking, organizing, planning, and driving the kids everywhere. I feel like I don't get anything done because I'm doing so much at once and there is always a distraction or two.

Benefits of being a stay at home mom(SAHM):

1. When I'm staying home with my children, my life revolves around them and for them. I am a part of their lives, I get to share more of myself with them and they with me.

2. I have time to ensure they get to activities, although I don't always have the money to enroll them, but I do get to watch them and I'm always there when they need me.

3. I am able to cook healthy meals and bake healthy (or not so healthy) snacks in lieu of pre packaged food.

4. I have formed bonds with my kids that no one else could and I am able to make them know without a doubt that they are the most important thing in my life.

5. One of the perks is that I get to have lots of hugs, kisses and cuddles everyday, whenever I need them.

6. I have more time to meet my friends for coffee on a regular basis.

7. I have time to scrapbook my family memories and tend my garden.

The Downside:

1. I do loose touch with what is going on in the workplace and I have fallen behind in my career. It made it really hard when I went back to work to accept that there were younger people who were above me in the corporate ladder.

2. It is isolating to be home everyday, all day with my children. It can be hard to feel as though I'm contributing to society or doing something important with my life. I watch others in the news doing so much, being so much, and I am jealous.

3. Some days I feel as though I've lost my "Self" and I'm not sure who I am or what I want for myself. My days are filled with caring for others helping to define their sense of "Self."

Being a stay at home mom is hard, especially for those women who thrive in the workplace. For those who thrive taking care of their family, their home, and their children Staying home with their children is where they thrive. That is why neither option is the right choice for everyone, everyone is different, every family is different, every child is different, and every situation is different. It comes down to why the choices are made and if they are made in the best interest of the child how can anyone fault a mother for making either choice?

How do Stay at Home Mom's do IT?

I'm gonna go nuts. Stay at Home mom's that are good at caring for their families needs are something to be cherished. No wonder my husband is always pissed off at me, I suck at house keeping, laundry, and cooking. I am going cabin crazy and could use an afternoon with friends.

I have a girlfriend who gave up her own aspirations, goals, and needs to care for her family. She became a different person and did a very good job as a stay at home mom for the first few years, then became quite depressed. A few years ago she decided to do something for herself and start a new career, which her husband didn't agree with. Today they are divorced and she is still trying to get her career off the ground and he continues to make it difficult for her.

I just can't seem to bring myself to do the best job of cleaning, laundry, and cooking. It's not that I don't care about my family or don't love them. I know I need to do a better job but I am so much happier when I am working outside the home. I have no problem putting in the extra effort at the office, I just can't get it together when I'm home with nothing to do but clean and cook.

Women that can work hard taking care of their family deserve so much more recognition and appreciation then they get because it isn't easy to put others first; no matter how much you love them.

Every Mother of Young Children needs an IPOD with Noise Cancelling EarPhones

My kids have friends over and the weather outside is too cold to send them outside. The volume in the house and the absolute silliness is getting on my nerves. so I put my ipod on and my stress level decreased immediately.

So if you know a new mom and you're wondering what she needs, really good earplugs or earphones for an IPOD.

Why do People Choose to Become Soldiers

You know the recruitment slogan, "be all you can be." Commercials targeted at youth ask them to consider a life in the armed forces. Since I am sitting in my home safe and sound, watching the TV I couldn't help wonder, why young men and women decide to join the armed forces.

With an unpopular war being waged 1/2 way around the world, what compels a young adult to choose to go and fight?

As a mother, the idea of my child going to war, let alone volunteering, scares me. My children are young and concerned about social injustice, they hope they never have to go to war or anyone they love has to go to war. I can't imagine the worry, anxiety and stress a mother goes through when their child chooses to go into the military.

Don't get me wrong I think that making the choice to enter into the military is an Honorable choice, one to be proud of. I just don't understand it myself and I fear that one day my children may choose a life in a war zone.

What compels a young adult to put themselves through the vigerous training to then put themselves in harms way? The army doesn't pay danger pay so it can't be for the money. It has to be something more, something that most of the industrialized population lack and don't understand.

To those that do choose to take up the call "to be all you can be," THANK YOU. What you have choosen to do with your life is beyond your self and I hope that you will come through it safe and sound for the sake of your mothers. Many have died protecting their nation, fighting for what they believed to be the right cause and they gave the one thing that cannot be taken back, their lives. They are to be remembered, respected, and appreciated.

To the mothers.... Thank you for supporting your child's decision and standing behind them, even though I hope never to be in your shoes. I thank you for being a better person then me and filling those shoes.

There is Never Enough Time or Energy for the Working MOM

Oh man I'm exhausted which is keeping me from being motivated at work. Which during this week is a big NO NO, I need all the energy and motivation possible. As a working mom what do you do to get more time and energy in your day?

I am so exhausted at the moment any and all ideas are welcome.

Which is Best? Kids in Daycare or Kids at home with Mom

I saw the cutest little kids today on a walk with their daycare, they must have been 3 years old. My heart ached for my kids to be that small again and wondered where all the time had gone. Time passes so fast and they are little for such a short period of time - honest it's true. I remember telling my husband that things could wait and his time with his son couldn't because before we knew it he'd be off with friends. That time came fast!!!

I have been a working mother, a stay at home mother and a work from home mother. The time I spent with my children at home was precious and I wish it would have lasted longer or that I had enjoyed and focused on it longer. When I ran a dayhome it was too chaotic and busy for me to really enjoy the time I had with my kids. Then I was too preoccupied with trying to find work to focus on the time with them. I just have to look at my kids scrapbooks to remember the times I was with them and to see how many years I missed recording their lives.

Is one situation better then any other for children?
Should kids be in daycares or home with their mothers? Does it really matter in the long run?

Let's look at the Pro's of Daycare:
1. Socialization
2. Schedules
3. Independence

Let's look at the Con's of Daycare:
1. No one loves you like MOM does
2. Don't learn to entertain themselves (for the most part every minute is planned and every activity explained to death - leaves no room for entertaining themselves.)
3. No real attachment to care giver if high turn over in daycare

Not all daycares are created equal, this is a very general look at daycare life. The Pro's and Con's of being home with mom are not cut and dry because every mom is different. Where some mom's are very structured with a lot of planned activities that entertain the child others are go with the flow and offer their kids more time to entertain themselves and figure things out for themselves.

Home life may be easier if someone cares for the kids and handles the daily chores of the house and home so the person working can spend more time with kids when home. Others may find it easier if both parents work and bring in money to hire others to help out with the daily chores and childcare. Each family is different and each child is different.

My son and I are very close and the first 3 years of his life was spent in daycare while I worked full time. My daughter and I are close in a different way and she never went to daycare. I can't say daycare made the difference, personality and maturity has a lot to do with it as well. Did my son suffer being in daycare? NO, he enjoyed it and loved playing with his friends. Did my daughter benefit being home with me? Probably in some ways and since I ran a daycare she received the socialization she would have had a daycare. I do believe that since both children were so different and needed different things from me they needed different types of care.

My son was social and lit up when he was around other children, my daughter was shy and had no interest in other children. My son was easy going and was very verbal and intelligent so he needed different types of stimulation through the day. My daughter was very particular and very clingy to me. Although she was very smart as well, she had an emotional need for me to be there with her every day. I am confident that both children received what they needed when it came to their day to day care.

Whether a mother should stay home or work outside the home is a very emotional debate which some feel their way is the one and only way. Mothers who stay home think mothers that work neglect their kids and have their priorities skewed. Mothers who work think mothers that stay home don't provide for their family's future. Is one side right and another wrong, since I was both and I believe I did what was best for each child's needs at the time I would say NO, neither is right or wrong. The only choice that is wrong is the choice that only takes into consideration the needs of the mother and NOT the needs of the child. The only mistake is believing you are forced to work by financial and social pressures, when you could have stayed home instead.

What is a Mother? Defining What a Mother is and Defining 'Self' in the Process.

I am a mother, great but what does that mean? I have a lot of roles in my life, the largest one at this moment and the most life altering one has been that of mother. The question was asked of me tonight, who are you? or more appropriate, who am I? At first I had no answer but then I opened my mouth and out popped, I am a mother.

It occurred to me though, what does that mean? That I popped out two kids and now I feed cloth and tell them what to do. It has to be more than that, what is a mother?

When my son was born I was a new mother and with that came a whole lot of change and upheaval. For 24 hours a day I was at his beck and call, feeding him, dressing him, changing him, rocking him, entertaining him, and loving him. Then as he grew older my role changed he learned how to talk, walk and use the toilet. He dresses himself and makes his own friends separate from family friends.

My role as a mother changed when I went back to work the first time and then when I stayed home after my daughter was born. Now it has changed again as both are in school full time and I'm back at work.

The role changed in that I was not needed to do the same types of things for my children, but that still doesn't answer the question what is a mother? What does that mean? I am a mother.

I teach them to be independent of me and figure out things on their own. I encourage them to love each other and take care of each other. I am in essence working myself out of a job, soon they'll make their own money and provide for themselves. So what is a mother?

What is it that makes someone a mother? Any woman can have a baby or raise a child but what makes them a mother? Does the answer to this question really matter? Does my 'self' or identity really center on the role, or does the statement I am a mother mean more then just the role of mother? Do I exist outside of my role as a mother or is being a mother who I am and everything I do I should do as a mother. If so what is that?

Just a question, a thought, a glimpse into the insanity of identity. Who are any of us really? I am but an extension of my upbringing, an extension of my mother, my grandmothers, my heritage and now an extension of my children. So does it really matter who I am? I am a mother.

I Gotta Get Serious and Loose some Serious Weight

OK I'll admit it - I'm overweight and I need to loose some serious weight. Diets suck and I've tried a number of them, but fall off the wagon sorta speak. I start exercise regimes but then life gets busy and before I know it I've missed a day or two and don't get back at it.

I really need to get healthy, that's the big thing. I eat terribly and sit on my butt way too much. I hate packing lunch and since I am a salesperson I'm in my car 90% of the time so the drive thrus have become a bad habit as a lunch choice.

So the commitment needs to start now - right now with a walk to pick my daughter up from school and then making my cold calls while standing or pacing. So that's my plan for today - not a huge life altering step but a step none the less.

Any ideas, what works and what doesn't? How to stay motivated and really want to loose weight? I think that's my first major problem I don't feel overweight, yet the scale says I am. Everytime I start loosing weight and something life altering happens I turn to junk and stick my head in a book until it all passes, in the meantime I've gained 20lbs. A reason to loose weight, one I can passionately hold on to is what I need. What have been some of your reasons to loose weight or diet?

E-Zine For Mothers - Time Out - Projects, links, craft gallery, and more to come.

I just started an e-zine for mothers. Something to do with my spare time. It's quite simple right now but as time goes on there will be more picutures and how to for crafts, scrapbooking, and card making. I have also started a list of links to sites that are created and maintained by moms for moms. IF you have a site that fits this criteria let me know and I'll add you to the link list. As well, don't forget about the WAHM and Small business Directory.

Kids are Having Fun at Mabel Lake and I Miss Them!!! Empowering them to be Independent.

It's only been a week and a half and I miss the kids so much I want to jump in the car and drive the 6 hours just for a hug and kiss. It's been so long since they were even away from me a day that I don't know what to do with myself now that I have time for me.

I have been busy looking for work but it hasn't taken up all my time. There's work like going through all their toys and sending the bulk of them to goodwill. I can only do chores for so long though.

My husband and I are having a good time and things are getting done around the house but it is so quiet. I now know what retirement will be like -- I better get some more hobbies.

You know that list that most mothers have put together in their mind. You know the one, the list of everything you'd do if you had a moment to yourself. I get to live the dream and all I can think of is what are my kids doing and I wish had some money to go shopping.

My son (he's 9) misses me and my daughter (she's 6) is just fine, loves me but will see me when she comes home. I want them both to have her attitude but at the same time I'm selfish - I want them to have a miserable time because they miss me so much.

My daughter says she's OK because she has her brother. Gramo loves having them at the cabin and because they pretty much take care of each other she finds it really easy. This morning she was sleeping when I called and the kids had gotten up, my son got them breakfast and they were out playing. I've always encouraged them to do things for themselves, right from when they were little. Now they do things for each other and it make parenting so much easier.

Kids can do more than parents give them credit for. 3 year olds can put on their own coats and shoes, they just need to know how. Put the coat on the floor with the inside facing up. Have your child stand at the neck of the coat, bend down put their arms in the arm holes and flip the coat over their head -- VOILA coat is on.

Shoe's on the wrong feet? So what -- will it really damage them? Help them put their shoes on the right feet by getting shoes with images on each side of the shoe. Explain which image looks at the world and which ones talk to each other. If they put the shoes on the wrong feet just ask "Are (the inside image) talking to each other?" Don't tell them they have them on the wrong feet, just ask them questions that will enable them to figure out how to tell which shoe goes on which foot themselves.

I'm fortunate my son teaches my daughter how to do stuff all the time. I was shocked when I discovered she could read Little Critter stories before she left Kindergarten -- my son read to her almost every night and taught her how.

By empowering them to figure out how to do stuff for themselves they have developed the skills of teaching each other.