Books for Middle Grade Boys.

http://shannonpeel.bravesites.com

Jack has just left the confines of elementary school for the freedom of high school, problem is his mom treats him like a kid and won't let him grow up. His home is a constant battle field until foreign soldiers invade his hometown shutting off all power, communication, and any chance of escape. Jack and his friends need to figure out how to survive without technology, power, communication or escape. 

Parenting a thirteen year old boy can be extremely frustrating. They go from being the cute little boy who listens to you and follows the rules to a secretive pain in the Keyster. I know I'm not alone here. Many parents wake up one morning, usually on the first day of Grade 8 and find that their son is the victim of body snatchers. We ask ourselves, how did our sweet little boy turn into this new creature and can I send him back? 

When my son was 13, my life became a difficult. I never knew where he was. He broke two cell phones. Skipped class and was hanging out with a whole new crowd of kids I didn't know. He got in trouble at school, almost with the police over a fireworks purchase incident at school. He wouldn't share any of his life with me, except those parts that would make my mind melt trying to figure out if he was serious or not.  Let's just say he liked to mess with my mind. 

My novel, Thirteen, draws from this relationship froth with conflict, rebellion, and love. It isn't a moral story lesson trying to tell kids how they should be. It's a real look at life through the eyes of a thirteen year old boy trying to figure out who he is and how to get away from his mom in the process. 

The book itself has received some good reviews and the feedback from the kids who have read it. They can identify with the character, the situation, and like the story of survival. Once they start reading this fast pace novel, they can't put it down and are asking me for more. 

Get a free e-book download

Rising Cost of Food - Is it cutting into your Budget?

On Average Canadians spent 10% of their income on food - If that is true then our family is below average.  On average we spend approx 27% of our household income on groceries and the weekly bill keeps rising.  As a single income household in the Greater Vancouver area, it isn't easy to make ends meet at the best of times, but with the cost of essentials: food, gas, & housing, rising it is even harder. 

In order to make ends meet I've started making our bread because store prices are just too expensive.  We've stopped purchasing granola bars, processed foods, lunch snacks, and I've started baking as much as possible.  I've been comparison shopping between Costco, Walmart, Safeway, and Save On just to make sure I'm spending the least amount possible on items.  I've even started over the border shopping into Bellingham, WA where dairy, chicken, and some gas prices are lower than in Canada.  I don't like to take my shopping support into the States but what am I to do when the difference is over 50% less for the same items?  I've even become a butcher as large bulk roasts from Costco are cheaper than the ones already cut.

We are lucky because by cutting back we are able to make ends meet and hopefully I'll find employment soon and then our household income will nearly double.  However, in most of the world this is not the case.  Where people spend 80% of their household income on food, rising food prices will only make it harder to survive starvation. 

In Canada we choose to ignore those that are starving and continue to live our lives consuming.  After all, the one with the most toys wins - right.  I am just as guilty as anyone else, whenever we have a few extra hundred dollars we buy something for our kids, our house, or ourselves.  Our kid's birthday present could have fed a family in a third world country for years.  Sometimes I wonder what are we teaching our children.  Can our children afford to be bigger consumers than us?  Will they end up in worse debt? or will they become generous giving individuals who are thankful for what they have and give to those with less? 

What are some ideas to help teach our children to be more thoughtful, less selfish, and smaller consumers?
How are you cutting your grocery bill to save money?

A New System to Motivate the Kids to Help Out Around the House....

I am constantly trying new ways to get the kids to help out without it becoming a huge fight. Every time I start a new system the kids get motivated for a day.... Hopefully this new system will work.

Both kids want to go somewhere - My daughter wants to go to the water slides and my son wants to go to Seattle. I was so pissed off at them yesterday I decided I wasn't doing anything nice for them until they started helping out. So I created a points system.

If they do some work around the house they get a point.
If they do it without being asked they get another point.
If they do a bigger job the get an extra point.
If they do what they are told they get a point.

In order to go to their place of choice they need to collect 40 points each. I will not be doling out money or driving them anywhere without enough points.

I'm not sure how long this will last... hopefully longer then the marbles idea.

Parenthood - Not the Easiest Job Around

Being a parent isn't easy, its filled with trials and tribulations that lead to extreme frustration. We want the best for our kids, we want to be perfect but we fall short. Parents are only human, we make mistakes that we feel guilt over for years. We second guess our decisions, we bend over backwards to make our kids happy only to feel unappreciated and taken for granted.

My oldest is just hitting the pre-teen years but it feels like he's been there forever. My youngest is always demanding more and more of everything and anything. Some days I feel like no matter what I do, it's not enough, I've come up short and I've missed the boat. The constant demands of this blood sucking duo at times can leave me empty. Yet when I think I have nothing left to give they say "thank you mom, I love you" and I find that my bucket is full to the brim with so much more to give them.

Every day is filled with decisions that effect those in our family. We try hard to put on a facade of perfection to those outside but its a lie. Every family, no matter how perfect they look, has problems, issues, and make mistakes. Trying to be perfect causes more stress and problems for a family then just admitting your human. Every family yells, hurts each others feelings, makes bad decisions, wants more, needs more, and find themselves in situations they never thought they'd be in.

What all parents need to do is give themselves a break. Kids grow up to be who they choose to be and as long as you did your best, you loved them, and were there to support them when they needed you - you were the perfect parent. As long as you didn't beat them, abuse them, or misuse them you were the perfect parent.

So parents pick up the phone and call your parents and say "Thank you for being the perfect parents." After all, parents were kids once and weren't the easiest little people to raise. Forgive the little mistakes and frustrations you have with your parents because guess what - your making mistakes and frustrating your kids now.

Parenthood - The TV Show. One of my favorites!

An episode which examines the importance of Communicating with our children and just showing up.

Punishing my Son for What Friends Do

Kids can be mean, the playground is a tough place for a lot of kids. I am trying to teach my kids how to pick "good friends," and sometimes that means punishing them for their bad choices. When my son was young there was one incident where his friend was throwing rocks at a house while my son stood and watched. When our neighbour informed us of this transgression I quickly grounded my son for a week, his friend was not punished. Try explaining how that is fair to a little boy.

No matter what we do though he continues to stand by and watch as friends make stupid decisions or bully other kids. He knows its wrong, he feels bad when we talk about it, but he does nothing to remove himself from the situation, he doesn`t correct his friends or stand up for others. He just stands there and does nothing. Not the action I am looking for.

What he doesn`t understand and refuses to believe is that his friends will stop what they are doing if he leaves the area, if they are the types of kids to be friends with. If not then find new friends. It`s not like his friends are bullies or criminal, they just get wound up sometimes as boys do and don`t think about what they are doing at the time.

My son has picked some really great kids to be friends with and they sometimes feed off each others energy and the next thing you know someone has done something stupid. For 11 year olds stupid can be as innocent as running over a neighbours lawn or not making a new kid feel welcome. What I want is to ensure is that if my son knows what is going on is wrong or stupid to walk away, not to be involved. However at the time he doesn`t think, he gets wound up by their energy and cuts through private property or hurts a new friend`s feelings. It happens, I just want him to realize that their are consequences when he does it.

Is saying I Love You Enough? - Building Kids Self Esteem.

I am trying something new. My kids are getting older and their self-esteem is going to be a huge factor in their success both in high school and beyond. When we moved here it was obvious that my son’s self esteem wasn’t as secure as I thought it was. He was so unsure of himself, who he was and how he’d fit in. For my daughter the opposite was true, she came out of her shell and developed more confidence in herself.

When my kids were young they found pride in themselves whenever they learned a new skill. I always gave them opportunities to learn how to do things on their own. They were proud of themselves when they learned to put on their own clothes, their own shoes and then tie those shoes (which took my son a little longer than most). They became more skilled as they figured out computer games and toys on their own. Often they would ask me how to show them how to do stuff before they even tried, I’d always say "figure it out." They almost always did. When they couldn’t then I’d step in and show them a step or two. They’ve become very capable in their own abilities.

Now that they are older, especially my son, things are different. At 10 he’s starting to care about his appearance, be interested in girls, worrying about fitting in. He’s questioning himself and if he’s good enough. So I started thinking, how can I help him love himself?

I’ve always told my kids that "I love you" on a regular basis however I think I need to do more. I’m trying to tell them why I love them and what I love about them more often. So instead of just saying "I love you," I’ll say "I love your ability to problem solve," or "I love you because you have the cutest freckles." Not just "I love your freckles" because if they don’t then they’ll just ignore it, but I’m hoping that if they know that I love them because of their cute freckles they’ll learn to value those freckles.

This new approach has made me realise all the things I love about them. I’ve had to really look at who they are and what their strengths are. I’ve had to take time to talk to them, get to know what’s important to them and then let them know that I love them because of it.

My husband doesn't agree with me and thinks "I Love You" encompasses everything so therefore it's enough. Which may be one of the reasons I don't always feel secure in his love for me.

I don’t know if this will help to build their self-esteem but it can’t hurt. I asked my daughter why she loved me the other day and she just said "because." I don’t want them wondering why I love them, I want them to know I love them because of who they are. I don’t ever want them to question my love for them or assume I love them because I have to. I want them to know that I value them for them and not because I’m their mom.

Other Online Resources for building kid's self esteem:

Kids Edge on Self Esteem
Building Your Child's Self Esteem
Child development info Website

Why You Shouldn't Watch Soap Operas With Your Kids in the Room.

My son is home sick today and since we don't have many TV channels to choose from and I caught him watching an episode of the Young and the Restless. I don't think he's about to get hooked on soap operas but it got me thinking about how damaging a message they play out for young minds.

I had a 5 year old girl in my dayhome who was "boy" crazy, she was determined to marry herself off sooner rather than later. She was very aggressive and at the horror of more than one boy she was obsessed with kissing. Her mother was a fan of soap operas and during her time home with the kids she watched soap operas with her daughter every afternoon.

Soap Operas are unhealthy for kids because they don't teach wholesome family values. Their characters get married and divorced so much that they should provide a cheat sheet of how all characters are linked to each other. Marriage getting difficult? That's OK have an affair, get divorced and marry someone else.

There are enough unhealthy messages for little girls in the media without subjecting them to soap operas.

Why My Kids Are BFFs

Everyone that meets my kids are amazed at how close they are to each other - They really are each others best friend. I am really fortunate that they are because it has made life a lot easier, they play so well together and rarely fight. How did they get to be best friends?

Partly Luck:

My son is the oldest by 3 years less 8 days and his personality has lent a lot to this relationship. He is very easy going, doesn't need a lot of attention, and is very responsible. When his sister was born he just stepped aside, grew up and started caring for her.

My daughter is a handful but he keeps her in check and well behaved because she wants to be like him. She loves everything he loves and wants to do everything he does. The best part is he wants her to, he encourages her to, and it doesn't bother him to have her tagging along. That is to say for the most part.... He needs his personal time and time with just his friends every once in a while and it's hard for her to give it to him. When he needs his space or she is being too pushy then I step in and ensure he has what he needs.

Partly work:

Before our daughter was born I talked to my son about what the role of a big brother was. I asked him to be responsible for her, to help her, teach her and take care of her. He takes his job as a big brother very seriously.

When it became apparent that my daughter was getting the best part of the deal and taking full advantage I realized she was old enough to become responsible for her big brother. I asked her to be responsible for him, to help him, teach him and take care of him. She takes her job as a little sister very seriously.

They are responsible for each others happiness - sounds like too much? Well, its not. It's teaching them to think about someone other then themselves in a relationship. When the other one is hurt or sad the other steps up to get them to laugh or be happy. Both find it very rewarding since life is happier when your friend is happy too.

Every night right from when they were small I made it part of their bedtime routine to say "I love you" to each other. It's much easier loving someone and wanting to be friends with them when you know they love you too. It isn't good enough to assume children just know if their sibling loves them, they need to know it. By saying it they will come to love each other.

Anytime they started to fight they'd be separated and if they couldn't be they'd be made to say "I love you" and give hugs and kisses. Ever stay mad at someone who says I love you and gives you a hug? Hugs and loves puts an end to a fight faster then any time out - and with better results.

When there is a disagreement I don't solve it for them, I've helped them figure out how to resolve it themselves. They've come up with contracts to solve conflicts and role definition to create something out of nothing. ie One's the mayor the other the assistant.

It's not always roses in our house, but it is far from a war zone. They do get on each others nerves and they do need their space. My daughter is very bossy and my son's tolerance for it though high does have a limit. However, through love, communication, and responsibility for the other they work it out relatively quickly and are the best of friends again.

Why Time Outs Don't Work

Time Outs are the main form of discipline for many families. Parents use time outs to help shape their child's behavior, yet time outs don't work - here's why:

Situation:

Little Johnny hits Little Mary:

Resolution 1:

Mommy grabs little Johnny and puts him on a time out hoping he will learn that hitting results in time outs for him. She then comforts Little Mary.

But does Little Johnny learn that hitting results in time outs for him? While he's sitting on time out is he really thinking about what he did to Little Mary or how unfair it is that he's sitting on time out while Little Mary gets cuddles. Does he feel empathy or concern for Little Mary while he watches mommy take care of her or does he resent her more?

Let's think about it from a Little Johnny viewpoint. We all know children are selfish little creatures who want what they want when they want it.... right! After all that's probably why Johnny hit Mary in the first place. It isn't automatically in them to feel sorry for what they've done because it hurt someone else or to be concerned for someone else. They may be sorry for hitting but mainly because it put them on time out and they didn't want to be there.

By putting Little Johnny on time out mommy has done two things. 1. Saved Little Johnny from getting hit by Little Mary. 2. Made a victim out of Little Mary by not allowing her to stand up for herself.


Resolution 2:

Why did Little Johnny hit Little Mary? Is Johnny a mean spirited little boy that did it just to get Little Mary to cry? Most likely NO - Little Mary probably had something he wanted or did something that upset little Johnny and the only way he knew how to deal with the feeling was to hit her. Little Mary probably has learned what buttons to push to get what she wants and to get rid of Little Johnny for a little while.... Mommy will step in and save me!!!!

By putting Little Johnny on time out the mommy has done two things.... One made Little Johnny resent Little Mary and feel sorry for himself - in his mind he's the victim in all this. Two - Little Mary is being rewarded for being a victim and displaying victim behavior. She's getting cuddles for making Johnny mad and getting hit.

If mommy had talked to Little Johnny and found out why he hit her she may discover that Little Mary did something to upset him. At this point mommy could help Little Johnny figure out a different way of reacting by asking him - "Johnny what should you have done?" or "Hitting isn't the way to get what you want - What could you say or do to get what you want?" "How do you think Mary feels when you want something she's playing with?" "What could you have played with until Mary was finished playing with that toy?" Mommy can take the time to help Little Johnny through the thought process she is hoping he is doing on his own while on time out. It is not good enough to say -"Sit there and think about what you've done." They don't know how to think about it outside of themselves.

If Little Mary has indeed done something to push Little Johnny's buttons then mommy can deal directly with Little Mary to help her learn to get what she wants without being a victim. "Mary did you want Little Johnny to hit you?" "Did you want Little Johnny to get into trouble?" "Why did you say such and such or do that then?" "If you wanted the toy Little Johnny was playing with what else could you do to get it?" "How do you think Little Johnny feels when you .....?"



By taking the extra time to find out the reason behind the action and teaching them to think better conflict resolution techniques a parent can foster a closer relationship between the children. Instead of resenting Mary Little Johnny would learn how to play better with Little Mary. Instead of learning victim behavior Little Mary would learn how to stick up for herself and how to play better with Little Johnny.

Some People's Kids -- I'd Be Pissed at Mine if They Posted Like These

The kids and I went to check out their great aunt's myspace page to listen to some of her music and were surprised to find some music videos. One of their favorite songs from last night's August performance was "Mad at Myself." We've watched it a few times now.


Mad at Myself

Linda Kidder MySpace Music Videos


After watching the video I thought I'd read some of the comments that people have left. Some teeny bopper's thought it was 'gay.' - OK, I can see that, after all, they have yet to experience the things that happen during this song. Other teens though were outright rude and mean. Thing is - kids, don't forget your parents can see what you write! If I catch my kids swearing off and being rude and mean online they will loose more then Internet privileges.

The biggest problem with children, teenagers in particular, and the Internet is the parents lack of interest in how they talk to others online. Perhaps how they talk to others offline too. I am sick of listening to adults complain about how today's teenagers have 'no respect,' talk back, are rude, violent, or whatever negative complaint they have. The issue is deeper then that, it starts at the home and goes out into the community from there.

We could blame working mothers for not having enough time or energy for their children. We could blame stay at home mothers for smoothering and indulging their children. We could blame TV shows, video games, liberal laws, friends, and too much money. Pointing and placing blame isn't going to solve the issue. Solutions, we are in need of solutions to help straighten out some of the delinquents that are coming out of high school and into the real world.

I am not looking forward to my children's teen years. I will be monitoring their online lives, and those of their friends to use what I find to open communication about what their actions could mean in the future.

For those children in our socio-economic circle I'd say "Consequences people", that's one part of the solution, consequences, there has to be consequences and we have to love our children enough to let them feel the full force of those consequences. It's easy when they are young, hard when they are older and the consequences are life altering. So start young, let your young children make decisions for themselves and experience the consequences of those decisions, it will teach them in baby steps how to make better decisions when it matters.

Communication is the key to shaping our children to be quality community minded people. Helping them think for themselves by asking open ended questions and listening to what they come up with as solutions. Asking questions that place them in others shoes and understanding how their behavior effects other people. Talking to kids about their day, their friends, and the challenges they face. Taking time to have one on one time to get to know your child is part of the solution.

I can't change the world, I can't make disrespectful teenagers be respectful, I can't stop adults that do nothing but complain and condemn others. What I can do is change the way I act and ensure my children become healthy contributors to society. I do this through communication, consequences, by example, and most importantly love.

Stay at Home (SAHM) or Work Outside of the Home (WOHM) - Which is Best for Kids?

The stay at home vrs work outside of the home debate is always a "hot" one because it involves children. My husband wants me to go back to work, now, mostly because he wants to pay his mom to watch the kids. I'm not sure how I feel about that, or if it matters either way.

My children tell me they like having me home, but does it really matter in the long run? Money is tight, very tight and I am not sure if I can stay home much longer anyway.

Does it matter? Are children better off with mom at home or in daycare?

Tattling ... Nothing Gets on my Nerves More than Tattle Tales

My daughter keeps trying to turn into a tattle tale and its like nails on a chalk board to me. Every time I hear, "Mom (her brother) is (doing something)," my blood boils. Thing is, when is it tattling and when is it not and how can I teach her the difference?



I don't want her telling me stuff just to get her brother in trouble but at the same time I want to make sure she tells me stuff that is important for me to know about. The difference between her brother not doing something I asked him to do and her brother doing something dangerous I need to be aware of. How can a little girl be expected to know the difference?



I ask her what her purpose in telling me something was... ya she doesn't always get what I mean but maybe if I keep repeating myself she'll get it..... Are you telling me because you want him to get into trouble or because he's gonna get hurt or break something?



Some things I need to know about regardless of whether a child will get hurt or break something. Some times tattling is OK and other times it's not.... teaching the difference is the hard part.

Why are Schools Catering to Parents?

What I want to know is why are schools catering to parents whims and fancies so much? It is as if the teachers and administration are so scared to rock the boat and offend a parent nothing ever gets done.

Its hard enough to be a teacher without having to keep parents happy. Instead of constantly complaining that the teacher isn't working out try working with them to find a solution to the problem instead. Concentrate on the teacher's strong traits and discuss what she/ he needs to help their weaker traits.

Not all teachers are good, some really should find something else to do, however, when a teacher is trying and struggling the last thing they need is parents judging them. Communication is the key, that and not flying off the handle over a story your child has told you. Misunderstandings are a result of not diplomatically talking about the issue and coming up with a solution together.

One of my pet peeves are people who complain and don't do anything to help change a situation. You know the type, they complain for the sake of complaining because they have nothing of value to say. It drives me nuts to listen to parents that sit around the school complaining about the teacher, the administration, the policies and have no understanding beyond their own needs and desires. Most policies are made because a parent freaks out over something and the school over compensates.

My hats go off to those that step up and work with teachers to make classrooms a better place. I have respect for those that volunteer their time to make the schools better. I admire those that show leadership and put in the extra effort to make a bad situation good.

Children see what parents do and they will model that behavior. What message and example do you want to show your kids? Do you want your children to grow up to become complainers or leaders? It is in all our power to be more understanding, patient, and compassionate. If we act in such a way then our children will become that way.

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement he learns to be confident.
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love.
If a child lives with recognition, he learns it is good to have a goal.
If a child lives with honesty he learns what truth is.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and those about him.
If a child lives with friendliness, he learns the world is a nice place in which to live to love and be loved.



Who's More Important the Teacher or the Parent?

Tips on Avoiding Parent / Teacher Conflicts

Keeping Kids Safe Online by Educating Them

The "experts" on the subject of keeping kids safe Online instruct parents to protect their kids by ensuring no one can access their kids. Sounds simple enough right, well I disagree with this method because you can't ensure that no one will ever access your children's information or them. It is safer to start young and educate them in baby steps about information, the Internet, and email instead of doing it for them.

Many parents have been to courses that instruct them to keep their contact information close and not to hand it out to anyone. They shouldn't let their kids have email addresses or have their name on any contact list. They should make sure their computers have parental blocks that keep kids from going to unapproved sites. They should manage their children's information for them and make decisions about what websites to visit.

The question is, are parents really protecting their kids by hiding from the world?

I don't subscribe to the whole hide away in order to protect. I allow my kids to have their own email addresses and phone numbers, does this mean I'm putting my kids at risk? I don't think so. My kids are still young enough that I have control over what they do. I use these tools to talk about what is appropriate and what is not, we talk about what information to put out into virtual world and what information to alter or hide. I allow them to practice these skills in the open (no computer in their room) and help them make safe decisions.

I ask them questions to ascertain what they think, what they know and problem solve for the best decisions. Instead of just making rules, I bring them into the decision making process to help them understand why they need to do certain things.

Before they could read, approved websites were saved in their favorites and they could click to get to them easily. As the grew older and began using search engines like Google we discussed what keywords to use and how to protect their information. My kids know not to use their real birthdays, addresses, or names. They have chosen safe birthdays, addresses, and names to use instead. They know why they can't use this information and what could happen if they do.

You tube is a big issue in our house because my son thinks its the best site and his friends send him links. There are some things on You Tube that are not appropriate for him to watch. We have talked to him about what he thinks is appropriate, what key words does he think he should avoid and a few others we deem inappropriate. We tell him why we don't want him looking at videos that are violent, have fighting, or are hateful. I use stories that I've heard about and ask him what he thinks about the story and how it effects what he does online.

We have some rules that are not up for discussion. Before he presses play he needs to read the title, the comments, and based on certain words determine if its is appropriate. The big rule when it comes to You Tube - he has to crank the volume so we can hear what he's watching. The computer is in the main living area so he can't sneak so easily, if he sneaks then he looses privileges. If his emails are inappropriate then he looses the email. He is learning what is appropriate by doing not being told or hidden away.

We also are made aware what friends are passing on links and information that is not appropriate and we can then act accordingly with that child. Once again our son is made apart of the decision process so he can learn how to choose friends.

They are still too young for facebook, myspace, and other social networking sites. But as they grow they will have the basics on how to protect themselves online and will have been practicing certain behaviors long before they are teenagers and I have little control over what they do.

I don't know, maybe protecting yourself by hiding your contact information and living in a bubble will keep kids safe. I doubt it because at some point they will want to have an email, have friends call them, and go out into the world. If they haven't made decisions or learned by baby steps over time how to protect themselves how can we expect them to know at 16, 18, 20?

Why do People Choose to Become Soldiers

You know the recruitment slogan, "be all you can be." Commercials targeted at youth ask them to consider a life in the armed forces. Since I am sitting in my home safe and sound, watching the TV I couldn't help wonder, why young men and women decide to join the armed forces.

With an unpopular war being waged 1/2 way around the world, what compels a young adult to choose to go and fight?

As a mother, the idea of my child going to war, let alone volunteering, scares me. My children are young and concerned about social injustice, they hope they never have to go to war or anyone they love has to go to war. I can't imagine the worry, anxiety and stress a mother goes through when their child chooses to go into the military.

Don't get me wrong I think that making the choice to enter into the military is an Honorable choice, one to be proud of. I just don't understand it myself and I fear that one day my children may choose a life in a war zone.

What compels a young adult to put themselves through the vigerous training to then put themselves in harms way? The army doesn't pay danger pay so it can't be for the money. It has to be something more, something that most of the industrialized population lack and don't understand.

To those that do choose to take up the call "to be all you can be," THANK YOU. What you have choosen to do with your life is beyond your self and I hope that you will come through it safe and sound for the sake of your mothers. Many have died protecting their nation, fighting for what they believed to be the right cause and they gave the one thing that cannot be taken back, their lives. They are to be remembered, respected, and appreciated.

To the mothers.... Thank you for supporting your child's decision and standing behind them, even though I hope never to be in your shoes. I thank you for being a better person then me and filling those shoes.

They Aren't Fighting but They are Driving Me Nuts

The kids are playing and being very very silly. The noise level is deafening and I'm exhausted after a long week at work so it's irritating. Sending then to another level of the house helps - I know I'm in trouble when their laughs are as irritating as their whining and bickering.

I am fortunate that they are able to get up on their own and play together keeping each other entertained until I get enough sleep. After another night of insomnia I really needed the sleep.

They were trained right from being little to amuse themselves Saturday morning, whether they grab a snack and watch Cartoons or play together. It sure has paid off.

Kids Lunches Made Easy for the Working Mom!!

Now that I'm back at work I find I'm too tired in the evening and too busy in the morning to get a decent lunch put together for the kids, let alone myself. Saturday has become a get life organized kind of day, including making lunches for the entire week. Now with traveling for work, this makes it even harder because I'm not there.

Stealing the lunchables idea without the high price tag I decided to make my own lunchables for the week. It worked out great!!!! There is a variety of different lunches already packaged ready to go, all my husband has to do is put them into the lunch boxes and away they go to school. The kids can build their own sandwiches at school making lunch a bit more fun!

Here are some items I used to put the lunches together:

Zyploc snack sized baggies
Zyploc plastic containers large and small round
Plastic Wrap

Food items:

Mini Bagels from Sobey's compliments balance selection
Tortilla wraps
Ritz Crackers

Ukrainian Sausage
Ham
Pepperoni
Cheddar Cheese

Grapes
Carrot Sticks
Celery Sticks

Processed Cheese and Cracker snacks
Halloween Candy
Cookies

I'd put all the different ingredients into the zyploc containers making 10 different lunch combinations. The kids had fun putting the food into the containers and deciding which Halloween treat went in.

I would wrap each ingredient separately and use the zyploc snack baggies for the grapes, carrot sticks and celery sticks. The kids will put the baggies back into the plastic zyploc containers to be used again next week.

Any extra meat I had was wrapped and frozen in individual packets to make it quicker for next weeks lunch making session.

The key is to stay organized, cut up the meat, cheese, carrots, celery and wrap them in portions then have the kids help put the different items in the different containers. Store in fridge until needed.

I also filled the small round zyploc plastic containers with yogurt and pudding to add into the lunch bags with a plastic spoon. My son will also get an extra piece of fruit because we can't fill him up fast enough he's growing so fast.

I hope this idea will help you make lunches easier and keep your mornings a little less hectic.

Do you have any other ideas or other items you love to put in lunches?

Which is Best? Kids in Daycare or Kids at home with Mom

I saw the cutest little kids today on a walk with their daycare, they must have been 3 years old. My heart ached for my kids to be that small again and wondered where all the time had gone. Time passes so fast and they are little for such a short period of time - honest it's true. I remember telling my husband that things could wait and his time with his son couldn't because before we knew it he'd be off with friends. That time came fast!!!

I have been a working mother, a stay at home mother and a work from home mother. The time I spent with my children at home was precious and I wish it would have lasted longer or that I had enjoyed and focused on it longer. When I ran a dayhome it was too chaotic and busy for me to really enjoy the time I had with my kids. Then I was too preoccupied with trying to find work to focus on the time with them. I just have to look at my kids scrapbooks to remember the times I was with them and to see how many years I missed recording their lives.

Is one situation better then any other for children?
Should kids be in daycares or home with their mothers? Does it really matter in the long run?

Let's look at the Pro's of Daycare:
1. Socialization
2. Schedules
3. Independence

Let's look at the Con's of Daycare:
1. No one loves you like MOM does
2. Don't learn to entertain themselves (for the most part every minute is planned and every activity explained to death - leaves no room for entertaining themselves.)
3. No real attachment to care giver if high turn over in daycare

Not all daycares are created equal, this is a very general look at daycare life. The Pro's and Con's of being home with mom are not cut and dry because every mom is different. Where some mom's are very structured with a lot of planned activities that entertain the child others are go with the flow and offer their kids more time to entertain themselves and figure things out for themselves.

Home life may be easier if someone cares for the kids and handles the daily chores of the house and home so the person working can spend more time with kids when home. Others may find it easier if both parents work and bring in money to hire others to help out with the daily chores and childcare. Each family is different and each child is different.

My son and I are very close and the first 3 years of his life was spent in daycare while I worked full time. My daughter and I are close in a different way and she never went to daycare. I can't say daycare made the difference, personality and maturity has a lot to do with it as well. Did my son suffer being in daycare? NO, he enjoyed it and loved playing with his friends. Did my daughter benefit being home with me? Probably in some ways and since I ran a daycare she received the socialization she would have had a daycare. I do believe that since both children were so different and needed different things from me they needed different types of care.

My son was social and lit up when he was around other children, my daughter was shy and had no interest in other children. My son was easy going and was very verbal and intelligent so he needed different types of stimulation through the day. My daughter was very particular and very clingy to me. Although she was very smart as well, she had an emotional need for me to be there with her every day. I am confident that both children received what they needed when it came to their day to day care.

Whether a mother should stay home or work outside the home is a very emotional debate which some feel their way is the one and only way. Mothers who stay home think mothers that work neglect their kids and have their priorities skewed. Mothers who work think mothers that stay home don't provide for their family's future. Is one side right and another wrong, since I was both and I believe I did what was best for each child's needs at the time I would say NO, neither is right or wrong. The only choice that is wrong is the choice that only takes into consideration the needs of the mother and NOT the needs of the child. The only mistake is believing you are forced to work by financial and social pressures, when you could have stayed home instead.

Finding a School for a Verbally, Visually Gifted boy with a Processing Disability

When your child has special educational needs, you'll fight to make sure he gets the best education possible. When I was in school, too many years to count, schools were starting to address learning disabilities and special needs. Schools were still a one size fits all method with an emphasis on written analysis of a child's knowledge. Today there are so many options and various programs for children with a vast array of learning disorders.

In Alberta there are so many schools to choose from that I found it a little overwhelming. French Immersion, German Immersion, Spanish Immersion, International French, Science focused, Math focused, traditional, for gifted students, for sports students, and what we finally choose - Fine Arts based.

I wanted to make sure my son got the best education for his special needs and I finally found it. Since birth he was always ahead when it came to developmental milestones by months. In kindergarten and grade one his teachers were amazed by his reading and verbal abilities and mentioned that he may be gifted. In grade 2 his teacher noticed that although he was very skilled verbally and read at a grade 4 level, his writing was below his age level and he was having problems staying focused in class.

The teacher suspected ADD - don't they all! Thankfully the school administration is very proactive in assessing children's needs and didn't just arbitrarily label him ADD because the psychologist was able to discover that he was bored and had a hard time processing what he wanted in written format. Granted he does have a huge imagination and spends a lot of time in it, but he doesn't have ADD.

I am very thankful that there are so many options out there for families who want to offer their children an education that is different from the one size fits all type. Although my son's former school did everything they could to meet his needs and provide him with help, it was limited because of the number of children with different needs. Last year he was different, the only one in a class of over 20 that needed a scribe and had special computer privileges. Now there are 10 kids in his class who receive a photocopy of the class notes to help them follow along and he's not the only one who can't get his written journal done. This has improved his self esteem because he doesn't feel alone or special anymore. This school is amazing and I am grateful that it is available for children like my son.

E-Zine For Mothers - Time Out - Projects, links, craft gallery, and more to come.

I just started an e-zine for mothers. Something to do with my spare time. It's quite simple right now but as time goes on there will be more picutures and how to for crafts, scrapbooking, and card making. I have also started a list of links to sites that are created and maintained by moms for moms. IF you have a site that fits this criteria let me know and I'll add you to the link list. As well, don't forget about the WAHM and Small business Directory.